


"Isn't She Lovely?"

by aahildebrand



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 55,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7083319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aahildebrand/pseuds/aahildebrand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles hasn't always made the best life decisions. When a tragic event results in him confronting his past, emotions stir and his life changes drastically. Follow Raegan, Harry's little secret, as she loses her mother and is forced to meet her father for the very first time. Read along as she learns to accept her life with her newly found father, and faces the complications and advantages of living with five young men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taken Prisoner

"I'm what? With who? No, really! Officer, you don't understand, I don't have a father."

These were the last few words I remember muttering to the cop who was now forcibly driving me to who knows where.

About a month ago, I lost my mother. No, wait. I take that back. I lost my best friend. My mom and I didn't have your typical mother-daughter relationship. We were much, much closer. You see, my mother and I were only 14 years apart. But don't get it twisted, she wasn't like that. She just had a real bad habit of seeing the good in everyone, even if there wasn't any. Nevertheless, it didn't matter that she was so young, because I loved her, and she loved me. We didn't need anyone else. All that mattered was us. 

My mom wasn't proud of what happened. I mean, why would she be? A child at 14? That's ridiculous! "Obviously someone should have raised her better." The thing is, people don't really understand what went down. They make their pathetic assumptions just to feel better about themselves. When in reality, she was a better person than all of the ignorant people who judged her put together. 

In my mom's first year of high school, her friends convinced her to go to this party. It was like any regular high school party: Booze. Drugs. Sex. It was not exactly my mom's idea of 'fun.' However, her friends were completely convinced that this party would determine their reputations for the rest of high school, so she decided to let them have a go at it. Though, not long after they arrived, my mom's friends left her stranded in the backyard, surrounded by drunk upper-class-men. Long story short, she found herself talking to this guy, who turned out to be only a year older than her. One thing lead to another until finally she was sure he was the love of her life. Seriously. All it took was a good conversation with my mother, for her to determine how she looked at you. Very rarely did she ever find someone she despised. She was incapable of such negative feelings. So it happened. What he said to convince her to go through with it, I will never know. But this boy was something special to my mom, and she made sure I knew that. Unfortunately for me, he was never around long enough for me to create my own opinion.

She was three months pregnant when she first found out. Up until this point, my mother and the boy had spent loads of time together. In fact, they were inseparable. It turned out, that the boy she met was just as in to her, as she was to him. That, however, changed in a matter of minutes. He had barely heard the news when he made the decision to have nothing to do with us. As a child, my mom assured me that it wasn't all his decision. She said that his stuck up parents were the main influence. "They would not have that kind of life for their son!" But that's just my mom for you. Always looking at things from a positive perspective.

Shortly after he found out, he informed my mother that he was "suddenly moving back to England." Oh, but he assured her that it had nothing to do with the baby; with me. And oddly enough, she believed him. She didin't think anything else of it. Sure, she was upset he was leaving, but she didn't think wrongly of him for it. She felt no hate for him. None. Zilch. I guess maybe that's why I have so much hate built up for him. I had to make up for the both of us. 

So that's it. My "dad" left, and my mother raised me. I've learned not to care if anyone approves of her having me at such a young age; it made us closer. We grew up together. That is, until about a month ago when she was hit by an intoxicated teenager and killed. Sure, I'm upset. I've been basically torn to shreds, but I'm dealing. Alright, that's a lie. I'm just shutting it out for now, because when I think of her I get weak, and I can't be weak. I'm on my own now, I have to be strong. Loneliness and sadness lead to dark things, and I don't need anything else to go wrong. Though, now, I guess it doesn't matter. Tonight I found out that I'm not really on my own. A local police officer confronted me about my living situation, and, well, I'm still a minor. I don't know how I made it a month without this happening. I guess the police department had more important things to worry about? I'm not sure, but it wasn't the top of my worries. I had been living on my own for almost an entire month, I mean I'm almost seventeen, I can handle it. And yet, legally, I'm still too young, which only means one thing: they tracked down my father. Hell, maybe that's why it took the police department so long to contact me. They had trouble finding the creep. My mother never clarified my father's true identity, she just told me little things to make me understand what happened. She tried to make it clear that he wasn't a bad guy. But that's not the impression I got from her stories.

The police officer shows up around 9:00 and tells me of my 'new arrangements.' I quote: "Miss Bennett, my dearest apologies from both me and the rest of the Adam's County Police Department. I express my deepest sorrow for your loss. Under these circumstances, however, all custody rights have been transferred to your father. You will be escorted immediately to your new residence." Simply meaning, "Welcome to Hell." My natural response is to laugh as if it is a joke, but the police officer isn't seeing the humor in it. He is serious. He is literally taking me from my home to live with this-this stranger! This man I've never met! I try explaining to him how I have been doing just fine, but he just ignores me and escorts me to his police car. I have never been angrier. The last thing I want to do is move in with someone who abandoned me!

Immediately, the police officer drives me to the airport where I am put on the first flight to England. He sends some lady that works with the police department to escort me. She's no official cop, but nonetheless I feel like a prisoner. She tries to make small talk with me, but I ignore her with the hope she understands that I'm not in the mood. Eventually, she backs off and sits quietly next to me as we make our way to England.

About half way through the flight I break the silence.

"Why?" I say clearly, making her jump in her seat.

"W-why what, exactly?" she asks as if she has no idea what I am referencing.

"Why are you forcing me to live with this man?" I state rather harshly.

"Well, due to your mother's sudden circumstance, all custody rights belong to your fath—"

"Do not call him that." I cut her off. "A man that raises his child is a father. This man you speak of didn't raise me. "

She begins to shift uncomfortably, looking for some kind of response, and I decide to leave it at that. I know it's not her fault. I almost feel bad for shouting at her. I'm not really this bitter, I promise. I've actually acquired a lot of my mother's wonderful personality. Things are just rough lately. If you were being forced to live with the man who up and left you-before you had the chance to do anything wrong- you wouldn't be a ray of sunshine either.


	2. "My dad's in One Direction."

We arrive at the airport around three in the morning, and I’m exhausted. I haven’t been able to sleep a wink since I found out where I’m going. Man, how I wish my mother was here. Within minutes of arriving at the airport my escort shuffles me into a taxi and takes me down to some “rich-kid” neighborhood.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groan.

“Pardon?” she looks at me in confusion.

“He lives here? What is he some kind of illegal drug dealer? This place is ridiculous!” I snort.

She begins to clear her throat. “You don’t know..?” she asks hesitantly.

“Know what?” I glare.

Just as she’s about to answer, the taxi comes to a halt and the husky driver interrupts, “Here.”

“Don’t sound too enthused,” I say stepping out of the cab. He shoots me a quick glare as my escort mumbles something to him. All I can really hear her say is, “I’ll be right back.” Great. She really is leaving me here. I was really hoping this was all some sick joke.

As we make our way up the large marble steps I can’t help but wonder what this man does for a living. This house-if you can even call it a house- is breathtaking. I stand silently as my escort leans over me and knocks on the door. She doesn’t step in front of me in fear that I might take off when she isn't looking. Smart lady. We wait for what seems like ten minutes before someone finally answers the door.

“Hello?” he speaks in his thick British accent. I can’t help but stare at him in awe. He looks strangely familiar. His layered brown hair pushed in a hundred different directions, and his squinty blue eyes spark some sort of memory. I swear I’ve seen him before.

“Hi, is Mr. Styles here?” my escort says in her boring American accent. Styles. Where have I heard that name before?

“Uh, yes. One moment,” the brown haired boy mumbles before briefly turning around and shouting “HARRY!” his accent echoing through the large mansion.

Seconds after the echoing stops a much deeper accent answers him, “What?!”

“Someone’s here for you!” he shouts continuing the echoing.

I hear footsteps shuffling down the stairs, as I try to place where I’ve seen this brown haired boy before. In a matter of minutes another brown haired boy is at the door, this one with much curlier hair and emerald green eyes. Now I know I’ve seen him before. As my escort begins to speak, everything in the last few minutes connects itself. Curly hair. Green eyes. Styles. Harry. Harry Styles!

“Oh my god,” I whisper at a barely audible level.

Everyone seems a bit taken back at the sound of my voice.

“Something wrong, love?” the first brown haired boy asks me.

I hesitate, thinking about what I should say. “Uhh..” I clear my throat. “Would your name happen to be.. Lou-is?” I stutter.

A small grin immediately appears on his face. “Why, yes it is!”

I start to get light headed, and my stomach twists itself into a knot. I have seen these boys before. I know where they are from. I know how they can afford this house. Everything makes sense.

I can see the look of worry in their faces as I slowly creep into darkness. The last thought I have before fully passing out is, “My dad’s in One Direction.”


	3. Caramel Eyes

As I regain my consciousness, I hear whispers all around me. I open my eyes to find two bright blue orbs inches from my face. The owner of the blue orbs is not the brown haired boy, no this young man is blonde. He can obviously tell he is freaking me out because he begins to back off. Within minutes, I remember everything that happened and quickly sit up on the couch. That probably wasn’t the best move, because I begin to feel my head spin again.

I sit silently on the couch looking from face to face. There are three boys in the room, all staring at me. The blonde one with the bright blue eyes stares as if I am some sort of scientific discovery from another planet. A dark headed boy who has darker tinted skin looks at me as if there is some deeper meaning hidden inside me, his facial expression vastly resembles the blonde one’s. And, yet again another brown haired boy, this time with more caramel colored eyes observes me with no judgments at all. His caramel eyes filled with innocence. I, however, stare at them all in a small state of horror. I'm not upset anymore, I am confused. Questions race through my mind. One of them being, “Where’d the other two boys go?”

Just as that thought crosses my mind I hear a faint goodbye and the squeal of a door being shut. None of the three boys tear their eyes from me as the other two enter the room. The one called Harry sits furthest from me resting his head in his hands. The one who claimed the name of Louis sits beside him, patting his back. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Harry had a huge bomb dropped on him tonight. No pun intended. The room remains silent for a good ten minutes before anything is said.

“What’s your name?” the blonde one blurts out, oblivious to the situation. I think they all are, all except Harry, obviously, and Louis. Even then, Harry keeps his face in his palms showing no emotion.

“Rae-gan“ I gulp, trying to satisfy the interest in his eyes.

“Ah, nice to meet you. I’m Ni-“

“Niall.” I cut him off.

“Yeah.” He says holding back a grin.

“I know who you all are.” I speak, my throat extremely dry. I catch a glimpse of Harry raising his head ever so slightly.

“Great. Now tell us who you are,” the blonde one continues to pry.

“I-I-“ I stutter before being cut off by a deep voice.

“She’s my dau—“ Harry hesitates, having a hard time accepting it.

“Daughter” I finish for Harry seeing the terror in his eyes. The intensity in the room continues to grow infinitely at the sound of this.

“Daughter..” he repeats quietly to himself, taking it all in.

I start to shift uncomfortably and try to excuse myself. “Can we..talk about his later?” I ask looking at the carpet.

All is quiet, until I look up to see Harry staring intensely at me. “Yeah.. Of course,” he mumbles realizing no one has answered me. I nod in gratitude and slowly walk away having absolutely no idea where I am going. As I reach the top of the stairs, I pause hearing chatter from below.

“How did this happen?” the blonde one says, prying again.

“Yeah Harry, what the hell?” I believe comes from the dark headed one.

"Well, I mean obviously.. " Niall begins again.

“Shut it, you twats.” Louis defends him. 

“Erm..” Harry mumbles to himself, lost for words.

Before walking away I sneak a peak over the tall banister to see the bickering going on between the five young men. Just as I begin to turn away I catch a glimpse of caramel eyes. He hasn’t moved or made a sound since I arrived. It is impossible to read his expression on all of this. Those eyes. So pure. He intrigues me.

I am soon pulled away from these thoughts when my glance is met by that same boy. We exchange in a moment of silence before I tear my eyes away in embarrassment. I don’t know what is going on, or what is going to happen. All I know is that there are five men downstairs whose lives have just changed drastically in a matter of minutes. And I can’t keep myself from thinking, it is all my fault.


	4. Unexpected Guests

Though I blame myself for changing the lives of the five men downstairs, it doesn’t lessen my hate for Harry. He made me. He messed up. Everything that’s about to change for him is well deserved. Even so, I still feel guilty.

I make my way down the long hallway, peeking in rooms hoping to find a vacant one. Finally about halfway down the hallway of endless doors I find a room with no trace of ownership. The room is simple, yet incredible. Mom and I lived in a two bedroom apartment. It was cozy, but it wasn’t anything special. This one room, however, put that entire apartment to shame. The room is spacious, even though the middle was occupied by a large four post bed. Each of the four walnut posts tower 3 feet above my head. A matching walnut dresser stands to the left of the bed, closest to the door. On the opposite side of the bed, a desk stands inferior to a magnificent window. I walk over and peer out. It is dark, but I can see the many lights of London. I sigh, accepting that this would be my new home.

I stand staring out the large window for several minutes before I hear a knock at the door. “Come in?” I say unsure of who it might be. With a turn of the knob, the door reveals a familiar face. It's Louis.

“Hey” he says softly.

I nod acknowledging his presence.

“So... I see you’ve found a room. This one’s nice,” he says looking around like he has never seen it before.

Again, I nod to show him I was listening.

“Look, I’m just as confused as you are, love,” he starts, “but don’t worry. Harry will come around…eventually, and so will the others. Yeah, it’ll be different for awhile, but life’s about new experiences right?” He sounded like he's giving me a pep-talk. He can see I was not amused. “Alright. Sorry. But I’m serious, it will be okay.” He follows up this statement with a warm smile.

“Alright,” I say, half smiling to make him feel better.

He stands in the doorway for a moment longer looking me up and down.

“What?” I say with a bit of unexpected annoyance.

“Oh. Sorry,” he says blushing of embarrassment. “You just… look a lot like.. Harry.” And with that he smiles and leaves. As soon as he is out of sight I run straight to the mirror and observe myself closely. “There’s no way I look like that man.” I whisper to myself. “My hair is blonde, just like my mom’s. Yeah okay, so I have his green eyes, but that doesn’t mean—“ I look closer. “Shit.” Our faces were the same shape too. Not only that, but my curls matched the ones on his head. It is then that I make the decision to straighten my hair for the rest of my life. I groan irritably and walked over to the enormous bed. There, I plop myself down and stare at the dark ceiling. Suddenly, I hear another knock at the door. I jump up leaning back on my elbows. “Come in?” I say still unsure about visitors.

The door busts open to reveal the blonde one. I’m already sick of him. “Hey!” he shouts jumping up on the bed. “Hi Niall.” I say, annoyance in my voice.

“Nice room,” he smirks.

“Well if it’s so nice, how come it was empty?!” I explode, thinking back to Louis’s comment.

“Uhh..” he mutters, not knowing how to respond.

“Sorry,” I sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

“You’re stressed,” he says slapping one of his hands down on my knee. I jump at the gesture. He ignores it as if he was lost in thought.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” I admit, sighing again.

“Come on back downstairs!” he says excitedly, shaking off whatever he was previously thinking about.

“I’ll pass,” I say.

“What? You’re just gonna sit up here all night?”

I glance at the clock. “Niall it’s 4:30 in the morning.” I say remembering how exhausted I am.

“Yeah? Well, do you remember who you just moved in with?” he says not letting it go.

“Well yeah but—“ he grabs my hand and starts to pull me towards the door. “Niaaall.” I groan, really not wanting to see anyone.

“C’mon!” he shouts, “You have to get used to us eventually!”


	5. "I'm what?"

I had almost managed a laugh as Niall pulled me to the final step of the stairs. Unfortunately, all hope in that was lost when we reentered the living room area. The dead silent room seemed to get quieter as I walked in. Niall finally let go of my hand as he tossed me on the couch. He sat down beside me with a grin on his face. I’m glad someone’s happy.

From what I could see the dark haired boy, properly known as Zayn, had passed out on the couch, and caramel eyes, also known as Liam, hadn’t moved an inch from his original position. I scanned the room but Harry and Louis were nowhere to be found. I began feeling guilty again. Harry doesn’t want me here. He left. I’m in his past, I shouldn’t be here. Lucky for him I didn’t want to be! I was be forced to by law. I hope he knew that. Wait. What am I saying? I don’t care if this isn’t what Harry wants. He can suck it up! He deserves every bit of this.

My hate for Harry and my guilt from intruding fought battles in my head. It’s true; I didn’t want to be here. But it was also true that Harry didn’t want me here. I should be happy about that, but it just makes me feel worse. I’m conflicted, and I don’t know what to do.

As I shake myself from my thoughts, I look up and catch Liam’s gaze. He can tell something’s on my mind. He looks at me in concern, but I don’t expect him to say anything. I try to tell him not to worry through my facial expressions, but I have a bad feeling that I added to his concern. I wasn’t the best face contortionist. You know what I’m talking about, right? Like when you try to look angry but end up looking constipated? Yeah, like that. I tried to tell him not to worry, but the look I shot him said something more along the lines of ‘I have cancer.’ I watched his warm caramel colored eyes widen and I decided facial expressions were probably not the best method of communication. I then shook my head trying to tell him to forget it, though I probably looked like I had Parkinson’s disease. Still, despite how ridiculous I looked, Liam got the message and replied with a thumbs up.

I could feel my eyes growing heavier every minute. “Niall..” I begged. “Can I please go to sleep now?” He made me stay down there for half an hour before finally letting me go. The entire time he rambled on and on about—well I’m not exactly sure what he was talking about, I kind of zoned out. Point is, when he finally let me go, I couldn’t have found my bed faster.

I woke up the next morning around 9:00. As my eyes fluttered open I was a bit taken back by my surroundings. This place was going to take some getting used to. I got up and walked directly to my mirror where I reached down to pick up my brush. To my surprise nothing was there. Right. All my things were back in Colorado. I sighed, and began brushing my hair out with my fingers. I looked like shit. No, I looked worse than shit. I finally tore my eyes from my putrid appearance and walked over to the window. I stood there for several minutes soaking in London’s beauty. As I turned around to go downstairs I realized how incredibly awkward that would be. “What am I suppose to do?” I thought. “I can’t live up here forever.” What Niall had said the night before began bouncing around inside my head, “You have to get used to us eventually!” The thought haunted me. Maybe I didn’t want to get “used” to them. As soon as I turn 18, I’m out. Unfortunately for me, I hadn’t even turned 17 yet. “Sixty-two days.” I whispered to myself, searching for something to get me through. Yeah, sixty-two plus 365. Well, at least it was a start.

I slowly began to turn the door knob hoping that maybe I could “sneak out.” If anyone was downstairs I could just run back to my room. My room? Weird. Let’s not get too attached. I creeped down the hallway carefully placing my feet in attempt to stay quiet, but right as I was about to reach the stairs I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Hi, ya!” I basically jumped out of my skin.

“JESUS NIALL!” I screamed in sort of a hushed tone; almost as if it was meant to be a whisper. He began laughing hysterically. “That wasn’t funny!” I say, kind of embarrassed.

“I thought it was,” he smirked. “What are you doing, anyway?”

“Going downstairs,” I said nonchalantly.

“You afraid you’ll wake Grandma?” he teased.

“No! I just...” I trailed off.

“Wanted to avoid everyone if at all possible?” he smiled mockingly.

“Yes.”

As if it was déjà vu, Niall grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs. I didn’t fight back, let alone say anything because I knew it would be worthless. He dragged me into the kitchen and pointed to a barstool.

“Sit.” He smiled.

“What am I, your new pet?” I said sarcastically.

“Might as well be,” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes and watched him dance around the kitchen. He dug through cupboards and cupboards before finding what he was looking for. “Got it!” His hand shot upward holding a box of pop tarts.

“That’s my gourmet breakfast?” I tease.

“This is a bachelor’s pad. What’d you expect Eggs Benedict?” he snorted.

“By the looks of this place I wouldn’t expect anything less.” We both laughed a little before he suddenly stopped and started staring at me.

“What?” I said, confused.

“Did you sleep in those clothes?” Damn. He noticed how terrible I looked. What a confidence booster.

“Uhh, yeah. All my stuff is in Colorado.”

“You could of just borrowed something,” he shrugged.

That would have been real smooth. Hi Harry I’m the result of the girl you knocked up back in high school. I’ve come to live with you. Oh by the way do you have any clothes I can borrow? “Yeah, I don’t think that would have gone too well,” I finally say.

“Why not?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know anybody.”

He smiled, “You know me.”

I laughed, “Yeah, now!”

He continued his smile. “Soo.. do you need to go shopping or something?” he said while shoving a pop tart in his mouth.

“That’s not really an option since all my money’s in Colorado..” I say irritably.

He seems confused. “Your Harry Styles’s daughter?” he questions.

I almost spit out my pop tart at the sound of that. I don’t like being reminded. “What?! You expect me to use Harry’s money?!” I exclaimed.

He shrugged again.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.. I’ve known the guy for like five minutes!” I shout.

“Calm down, jeesh..” he says. I just roll my eyes. “So, what time shall we leave?” he asks.

Okay, now I’m confused. “Leave for what?” I ask.

“Colorado.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Before I know it, Niall’s dragging me back up the stairs. “Niall, we can’t just up and go Colorado,” I say.

“Why not?” he asks, pulling me to one of the many doors in the long hallway. Before I can come up with a reason he starts pounding on the door. “HARRY! HARRRRY!!”

“Nia-What are you doing?!” I start to panic.

“HARRY, I’M TAKING RAEGAN TO COLORADO TO GET HER SHIT!” he yells through the door. Gee, thanks, Niall. All of a sudden I see Liam and Zayn emerge from their rooms.

“Niall, shh! You’re disturbing everyone,” I half whisper, half shout. He continues to ignore me. Before I knew it, Louis had come out of his room as well. Still no answer from Harry. I guess I made quite the impact.

Louis looks unamused. “What's with all the ruckus?” he asks. I can hear the annoyance in his voice.

“We're going to Colorado. Raegan left all her crap.” Thanks again, Niall. I start to protest but Louis looks at me and shrugs.

“Okay.”

Without warning Zayn butts in, “You’re just gonna let her go all the way back to the states?! With Niall?!” Niall shoots him a glare. Louis shrugs. “You really trust Niall to bring her back? For all we know Niall may not even come back!” Zayn hollers. Why does he care? I can hear Niall snickering under his breath, I couldn’t help from smiling a bit. If I had the chance, I wouldn’t come back.

“You’ve got a point,” Louis ponders and then looks to Niall. “That’s why Liam’s going with you,” he smiled and turned back into the room, shutting the door. All at once everyone turns and looks at Liam waiting for a response.

“I’m what?”


	6. Not That Old

Before I could say anything, I was standing in Niall’s room watching him pack. He had a habit of dragging me everywhere. I guess he thought I was incapable of walking. I watched him throw several clothes into a bag before interrupting.

“How long do you plan on staying?” I asked raising my eyebrows.

“As long as it takes for you to pack all your shit,” he smiles.

I gestured toward his bag, “So, you think it’s gonna take me a month to pack?”

“Well you are one of ‘them,’” he responds.

“One of what?” I say confused.

He begins to lean in close to my ear. My eyes grow wide as he whispers, “A female.” I hit him in the shoulder while trying to suppress a laugh. I liked Niall. He made things here not so bad.

“Are you two kids ready?” I heard someone say. I turned around to see Liam standing in the doorway. I was quite shocked to hear his voice, actually. I had only heard him say two things the entire time I’ve been here. He didn’t sound so thrilled the first time.

“Almost, dad!” Niall whined. I chuckled, catching Liam rolling his eyes. “Hurry up, or we’ll miss our flight,” he said walking out of the room. I’m still not sure about Liam. He seems nice, but I can’t quite read him.

***

On the plane, I got stuck in the middle. Niall requested the aisle seat so he could have full access to the flight attendant incase he got hungry, and Liam asked if he could sit by the window. I had no problem with that except it was an eighteen hour flight and I’m a “side sleeper.” That’s fine if you’re flying with your mom or your best friend, however I was flying with two men that I’ve known for less than twenty four hours.

Sure enough I had fallen asleep and didn’t wake up until about a third of the way through the flight. As my eyes adjusted I noticed everything was at an odd angle. Oh shit. I immediately sat up as straight as possible repeatedly apologizing to Liam. I had done it.. I had fallen asleep on Liam’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” I said, feeling awful.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, chuckling at my reaction.

“It’s just such a habit..I didn’t mean to..” I stopped. There was really no point in explaining myself, he didn’t care. Why was that? Why was he so cool about it? If some stranger had fallen asleep on my shoulder I would have freaked out. “Next time just slap me,” I said, smiling awkwardly.

“Noted,” he said smiling. I laughed at him in attempt to cover up my awkwardness. I’m not so sure if it worked. That’s it. No more falling asleep. I have to stay awake. Maybe I should just talk to Niall, he loves to talk. As I turn to look at Niall I see that he’s out cold. Cool. I lean back in my chair trying to stay awake. I think about starting up a conversation with Liam, but then decided I’ve embarrassed myself enough. Before I know it, I’ve drifted to sleep again.

I’m suddenly awoken by the sound of the flight attendant’s voice over the intercom. “If I could have everyone’s attention for a moment, I’d like to let you all know we will be landing shortly, please take a moment and make sure your safety belt is fastened properly. Thank You.” Before I can even process what’s going on, I notice I had fallen asleep on Liam again. I sit up as fast as I can, getting ready to apologize when I see Liam’s big caramel eyes stretched in every direction blinking uncontrollably. It was apparent I had scared that crap out of him.

“I’m so sorry!” he said.

“For what?” I reply, unsure of what he’s apologizing for. I see him rubbing his eyes and made the assumption that he had fallen asleep as well.

“I must have fallen asleep,” he said, quite embarrassed.

“Payback’s a bitch,” I said, laughing. He must have gotten a kick out of that, because a huge smiled flashed across his face.

“I guess you could put it that way,” he said chuckling. We laughed for a moment before turbulence kicked in. “You think we should wake Niall?” he asked, still sort of chuckling.

“Do we have to?” I teased. We both knew how much Niall loved to talk; sometimes it was better when he slept.

“No, I’m sure we could leave him here. Someone would recognize him eventually. I mean, we’re not that old,” he said.

“A little cocky, are you?” I said raising my eyebrows. “I bet half the people here don’t even remember what One Direction was.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure we made quite the impact,” he smirked.

“Yeah, maybe on the dinosaurs,” I provoked him.

“That’s it, young one. You get to deal with Niall for rest of the night,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Nooo!” I pleaded. “Anything but Niall!” I laughed. He began laughing too and I could see Niall starting to wake up. “Dang it. Our plan is foiled.” I said, smirking at Niall.

“Whaa? What plan?” he asked, sleepily. Liam and I just laughed as the plane finally landed.

***

I turned the knob to the apartment and walked in, Niall and Liam following close behind. I couldn’t help but to close my eyes and relax. This was home.

The first thing I did was find my phone. When the cop had come, I hadn’t had the chance to grab it off the counter. As I picked it up and flipped it open, I saw exactly what I had expected. Thirty-eight missed calls, and fourteen text messages. I knew exactly who they were from before I even checked them. All thirty-eight calls and twelve of the fourteen text messages were from Addelyn. Addelyn was my best friend and had no idea any of this had happened. She probably thought I was dead. Whoops. The other two text messages were divided between Noah and Peyton. Noah and Peyton were twins who I had gotten to know very well over the years. In fact, Noah was my closest friend, apart from Addelyn. How we met was kind of… interesting. I wasn’t the nicest kid in my first grade class. So, when one of the boys, Noah to be specific, took my favorite green crayon, I didn’t hesitate to pound his face in. Okay, so I pushed him in the sand. It had the same impact for a first grader. My teacher told my mom, and my mom made me apologize to him. The kid was kind of a wimp, but he was nice. He immediately accepted my apology and we instantly became best friends. I met his twin sister, Peyton, later in life. She was super cool too, so it was easy for us all to get along.

Noah knew that if I didn’t respond I was busy, so he didn’t bother sending me multiple texts. I’m assuming the only reason Peyton texted me was because Noah noticed I hadn’t gotten back to him in a few days. I knew I was going to be in big trouble with all of them. I was moving away. I didn’t even get an advance, so there weren’t even any “last goodbyes.” Maybe Niall would let me see them before we leave. I sure hope so.

I knew I had to get packing, so I didn’t bother reading/listening to what my messages had to say. I left Niall and Liam to look around, while I went to my room and began packing everything I could fit in my suitcase.

It had been less than 10 minutes before Niall came prancing through the door. He sat on the bed and watched me go through things.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said nonchalantly. I decided to ignore him, and began going through my closet. In about an hour I had the majority of my room packed. What I couldn’t fit, Niall let me put in his suitcase. When my room was down to its basic mix of furniture and unwanted papers, Niall got up and walked to my closet. I had apparently forgotten something.

After a minute of silence, he turns around and stares at me in disbelief. “You’re not packing this?!” he shouts holding up a beat up, faded One Direction poster.

I roll my eyes. “That thing is older than dirt.”

“Hey!” he complains. “I happen to look fantastic,” he smirks.

“I never even wanted that thing,” I said.

“How come? Weren’t a fan of the music?” he asked, looking a bit hurt.

“No, it’s not that. Hell, I was so little when you guys were popular that I liked everything I heard on the radio. It’ just that, my mom told me my “dad” sent that for my birthday. I was old enough to know that he didn’t. I knew that she bought it and said he did to make me feel better about the subject, but it didn’t work.” I said, looking down. “I accepted it with a smile to make her feel better, but I threw it to the back of my closet, planning to get rid of it as soon as she forgot she’d given it to me.” I could see Niall was still a little hurt. “Don’t worry! I had nothing against the band! I didn’t even know Harry was my father.” I was a surprised at what I had just said. What a little shit. My mom had bought me a poster of my father. Then she tells me it’s from him. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Very clever, Mom. Verrrry clever. “I just didn’t want anything from my ‘dad,’” I finished.

He nodded understandingly. I smiled softly, hoping he didn’t take anything too personally.

“Believe me, if I knew the blonde one was this cool, I would have hung it up!” I said, trying to cheer him up. It must have worked because he immediately started smiling.

“You think I’m cool?” he asked, anxiously.

I yawned and looked at the clock. It was already eleven. “Maybe a little.” I smiled, yawning again. He must have caught on because he yawned too. “We can finish this tomorrow,” I said. “How about we just get some sleep?”

He nodded and then raised his eyebrows. “I wonder what happened to Liam,” he said suppressing another yawn. Liam? I had totally forgotten about him. Where did he go?

Niall and I walked into the main room and instantly noticed Liam asleep on the couch. “I guess he was tired too,” I say almost laughing.

“Yeah, I guess,” Niall smiled. He then walked over and threw a blanket on top of him. “Goodnight, Angel,” he whispered, smiling, then returned back at my side.

“I think I’m gonna go sleep in my mom’s room. You can take mine. Is that, cool?” I asked.

“Sounds good to me,” he said, slowly walking back to my room. “Goodnighttt.”

“Goodnight ,” I whispered.

***

I stood by my mother’s doorway for several minutes before building up enough courage to walk in. “I have to be strong,” I whispered, barely audible. When I finally did, I hesitated before getting into bed. I wrapped the warm comforter over me and laid my head down on the pillow. I could still smell her scent. Without warning, tears filled my eyes, and began running down my face. The pain in my chest was unbearable. I hated feeling like this. The tears kept coming, and there was no sign of stopping them anytime soon. I could only really say one thing to express how I was feeling.

“I miss you, Mom.”


	7. Heartbreak

The tears continued to come throughout the night. Just when I thought I could quit, another wave of memories hit and I was drowning in tears once again. I hated myself for being so weak. I’m not a crier. It made me feel worse knowing how much of a mess I was. The feeling of abandonment that I could usually suppress began to surface. Harry’s reaction to me showing up at his house haunted me. Bad memories swarmed my mind and I couldn’t stop them! I wanted to scream, but all I could do was cry. About half way through the night there was a small knock on the door. I tried so hard to keep from sobbing, but like I said, I had no control. I couldn’t speak due to the soreness of my throat. I heard the knock again, but this time the knob turned. “Don’t come in!” I tried to shout, but no sound was made. No doubt it was dark, but I knew who it was. I bit my lip trying to push back my tears, and stay as quiet as possible. I saw the dark figure approach the bed and sit lightly on the end of it. He said nothing, but his presence was comforting. I bit my lip harder in attempt to control myself, but instead I just made my mouth bleed. My teeth dug into my already chapped lip and it hurt like hell, but it distracted me. I managed stop all sounds coming from my mouth, when the dark figure turned to me. He continued to keep quiet, but took my hand and placed it against my heart. That’s when he finally spoke.

“Feel that?” he asked, ever so softly. I said nothing, but he continued anyway. “That means you’re alive, but you need to calm down.” I nodded, though it was too dark to see. He then took my hand and pulled me into his arms, hugging me. All I could think about was how much I needed that. How much I need someone. I hated being alone. I never wanted to admit it to myself, because I don’t want to depend on anyone! I wrapped my arms around the dark figure and hugged him tight letting my tears fall free, again.

He sat there, quietly holding me in the same embrace for ten minutes without ever trying to move. When I thought I had my tears under control, I let go of him and sat back on the bed. “Thank you,” I whimpered, though I’m not sure if he could hear me. I expected him to leave, and was caught off guard when he sat back and took my hand. I looked at him, and believe it or not, I think he could see me. He stared at me momentarily, before whispering, “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hours past and Liam never left my side. He laid back holding my hand in his; listening in case I wanted to talk about it. I didn’t. I didn’t even want to think about it. But being in her room, smelling her scent, flooded my mind with memories. Around four o’clock in the morning I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, removing my hand from Liam’s grip. He jumped at my sudden movements and sat up, as well. I could feel his eyes on me. I wanted so badly to tell him everything, but it just hurt so bad.

“Everything alright?” he whispered.

I shook my head. Nothing’s right.

“Right. Dumb question,” he said, lowering his head.

“I-I- mis-s her so much,” I whispered.

His head shot up at the sound of my voice. “I know,” he said, touching my hand again. “And I’m so sorry.”

A moment of silence passed, before I finally spoke again. “Do you e-ev-en know what ha-ppened?” I stuttered, holding back the tears. 

He lowered his head, shaking it. “Not..exactly.”

I paused, swallowing my reality. “She was h-hit… b-by a car. Some dumbass teenager was drunk and slammed right into her,” I said, my voice stiffening. “S-s-she died instantly….but get this: the little shit that hit her still walks the earth,” I say, a tear rolling down my face.

Liam didn’t say anything. I don’t blame him, what’s there to say? Apologizing again wouldn’t mean anything, and he knew that. Instead, he moved toward me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. It took every inch of me to not break down again. “I’m sor-ry,” I sniffled. “You shouldn’t be seeing t-t-this.”

In response, he squeezed me tighter. There wasn’t anything left I could say. My mother was dead. End of story. She’s not coming back and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I couldn’t give any more of an explanation than I already had. She’s dead. I’m sad. The thing is, Liam didn’t expect any more of an explanation. I don’t think he even expected me to tell him how she died. He was there because I was sad. The reason didn’t matter. I couldn’t be more grateful.

Liam and I sat up for a few more hours. He held me, letting me cry when needed, and just flat out made me feel better. Around five thirty in the morning, I found myself falling asleep. Liam could tell and began to get up to leave the room.

“No.. Stay,” I whispered, barely retaining consciousness. He did as I said, and laid at the bottom of the bed. He was trying to not be inappropriate. Though, I found the gesture humorous, no sign of laughter or even a smile appeared on my face. The sad expression on my face stuck like a concrete wall. Soon after Liam lay down, I fell deep into sleep. It felt great. Sleep, that is. Now the only thing I had to worry about is the dreams that follow. Or, shall I say, nightmares…..

In a short matter of time I was awoken by the morning sun shining in on my face, followed by a hard knock at the door. Just as I opened my eyes I heard the knock again, almost as if it was panicked.   
"Raegan! Answer the door!" It was Niall. "He's up early," I thought before looking at the clock and seeing it was already ten. Confused at what might be wrong I jumped up and ran to the door. 

"Niall? What's wrong?!" I said looking completely confused. 

"I-I can't find Liam," he said, stumbling over his words. When I woke up, I walked into the living room and he was just... gone." 

I blushed in embarrassment as I heard Liam waking up, groaning behind me. I grew even redder at the sight of Niall's expression. 

"Oh, Niall," I faked a small laugh. "It's NOT what you think." I started to explain.

"Uhh... nevermind...." he cleared his throat, stunned at what he just saw, or what he thinks he saw.. "I found him..." 

"Niall I swear--" I started again before he turned around and walked away quickly. My head fell into my hand as Liam approached me.

"What was that about?" he asked, yawning. 

"Nothing...." I said. "Just....nothing." 

***  
Surprisingly, as I finished packing, Niall never left my side. I tried several times to explain what happened, but Niall didn't want to hear it. I eventually left it alone, however I was still afraid of the different scenarios his mind was coming up with. Though I don't know how I managed it with my little suitcase, I finally had everything worth keeping packed. I took one last look at my little apartment and had to push back any possible tears. As I shut the door for the final time, I took a deep breath. This was a new beginning. 

"Ready?" both boys said in unison, interrupting my thoughts.

I nodded. "Here we go," I whispered. 

As we made our way out the door, and called for a taxi I jumped up and whispered something in Niall's ear. I didn't ask Liam because I knew his "responsibilities" may get in the way. Niall nodded. "I don't see why not," he smiled. You could see the suspicion on Liam's face as we got in the taxi. 

"To the air-" Liam started to say, before being cut off by Niall.

"1709 West Waverly," Niall interrupted, confidently. I saw Liam shoot Niall a confused glare as the taxi driver pulled away. "Don't worry about it," he mouthed, winking at Liam. Zayn was right. You never knew what Niall was going to do. 

We pulled up to West Waverly within minutes of leaving my, well, the apartment. I loved how conveniently close the apartment was to Waverly. Truthfully, we could have walked. Whoops. Oh well. It's not like Niall and Liam couldn't afford it. 

I jumped out of the taxi and ran straight to the door titled 1709. I knocked quickly, in fear Liam might have figured it out and may try to force me back in to the taxi. After a moment of silence the door opened and revealed a familiar face.

"Rae--gan?!" the face asked in astonishment. 

"Yes!" I said throwing my arms around the girl. 

Before she could react she screamed, "NOAH!!" and squeezed me tight.

I couldn't help but smile. I've missed her so much. 

"You're not dead?!" Peyton screamed, tears forming in her eyes. I laughed a little at her reacting, but my face instantly went blank as an even more familiar face crept up behind her. 

"Rae-g-an?" the deep voice asked, unsure.

I stared emotionless for several seconds before letting a smile take over my face. "Did everyone forget my name while I was gone?" 

His cement expression lightened at the sound of my voice. Without warning, he swept me up in a hug. "I've missed you so much," he said squeezing me tightly. 

"I've missed you too, Noah," I said hugging him even tighter. 

After several minutes of "I missed you" and repetitive hugs, I heard two deep voices clear their throats behind me. I had forgotten they were even here.

"Oh sorry.." I said blushing.

"Uh, Noah, Petyon this is Liam and Niall." I watched as they shook hands, but couldn't help but notice Peyton's suspicious expression. The familiarity of their faces caught her attention, just like it had mine. She raised and eyebrow at me, but Noah spoke before I could respond.

"Nice to meet you, but who are you?" he asked.

Before either of the boys could answer I cut in. "Uh, they're my dad's-- uhh-- roommates." 

Both Petyon and Noah were taken back. "Your dad?" they asked, astounded. 

"Yeah..." I cleared my throat. "T-that's why I haven't responded to your messages.... A police officer came by the other night and took me to my father's......i-in ...London." Their faces grew whiter. "I..left my phone, so I couldn't tell anybody."

"L-l-ondon?" Peyton stuttered.

"Yeah... I just came back for my stuff." 

I saw Niall reach for the doorknob. "We'll be outisde.." he mumbled, and walked out, Liam following close behind. 

The silence in the room was deafening. 

"So you're leaving then? To London?" Noah asked. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I guess so.. I don't really have much of a choice." 

"So this is it then?" Peyton asked.

"I wish the answer was no..." I said, looking down.

The both stared at me; their identical blue eyes filled with sadness 

"I'm sorry.." I began to say, though I don't know what I was apologizing for. Its not like I wanted to move.

Suddenly I felt four arms wrap around me and hold me tight. We stood in a little huddle for a few minutes before the door knob turned and Liam poked his head in. "We need to head back" he mouthed at me, and I nodded unwillingly. I said my final goodbyes to both Noah and Peyton and made many promises to keep in touch. All of us had at least one tear running down our cheeks when it was all said and done.

As I got in the taxi, and waved to them on the porch, I head Petyon yell. "Raegan! Wait!" she yelled, running up to the taxi window. "Have you told Addelyn yet?"

Shit. 

I thought all the heartbreak was over for one day.


	8. Exhausted

We again began to drive away. Liam started to give the driver instructions, but this time I interrupted. 

"1405 North Jones." I said, a little less confidently than Niall had. 

"What are you doing?" Liam asked, a tad annoyed at me.

"Just one more stop," I begged. "I promise, this is the last one."

Niall nodded, and Liam sighed. I really was beginning to think I was a little kid compared to these guys. 

"Fine," Liam said. "Last stop."

"Thank you," I said, feeling bad. I didn't like making Liam upset. I feel as if that's kind of a hard thing to do. I sat quietly, as the taxi driver pulled up to house 1405. I got out and faced the taxi. "I'll be quick!" I said, gesturing that they should just stay in the taxi. 

I ran up to the door and knocked as hard as I could."Addelyn Jae! Answer this God damn door right now!" I continued to pound. Suddenly, the door opened revealing Addelyn's mom. I blushed in embarrassment. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Mrs. Moore, I just... I'm in a hurry and--" I stopped. No explanation was needed. It was me. If I was anyone else she would have slapped me. But this was my best friend's mother. She didn't expect anything less. 

"Addelyn's upstairs," she smiled, her eyebrows raised.

"Thank you!" I said, giving her a quick hug, before running up the stairs. "Addelyn!" I yelled, as I reached her door. I immediately pushed open the door, but was caught of guard when I saw her sucking face with her neighbor boy, Brent Richardson. I would never have pegged Brent as her type. "Uhhh.." I stuttered, as she pulled away, half embarrassed, half shocked to see me. 

"Raegan?!" she screamed, running over to me. The look on Brent's face was priceless. "I THOUGHT YOU DIED!" she screamed even louder, attacking me in a hug. All I could do was laugh. I was tempted to mess with her head, but then I remembered I had to be quick. This wasn't going to be pretty.

"Nope, but probably the next best thing," I said trying to keep a humorous tone.

"What do you mean?" she asked, all humor drained from her voice.

"Well.... there's no easy way to say this.." I began. "I'm moving." I tried to keep the tone of my voice as simple as possible. I'd had enough sadness for one day, and seeing my best friend cry wasn't going to make it better. So far my tone was working. However, she wasn't taking me seriously.

"Where to?" she joked. "France?" 

"No... but close." I smiled weakly. "London."

She didn't find this funny. In fact, she didn't say anything at all.

I stared at her, unsure of what to say myself. "I don't want to--" I started to say before she interrupted.

"Why?!" she yelled, tears appearing in her eyes. If it weren't for the heart breaking situation I would have died of laughter at the look of Brent's face. I had never seen anyone so pale.

"They...uh... found my dad." I gulped.

"But you don't have a dad!" she yelled, not thinking about what she was saying.

"Well... no. But I mean, technically, yes." I didn't even know what I was saying. "They found my birth father," I finally said straight forward.

She was lost for words.

"A police officer came by the other night. He told me that it wasn't my choice. He said it was law until I was eighteen." I was rambling, but she didn't care. She listened carefully to every word. "I didn't even get to pack anything. I even had to leave my phone, because it wasn't in my hand when he showed up. He took me straight to the airport and put me on a plane. I was just as confused as you are!"

"W-was?" she said as if it was the only thing she heard.

"Well... I mean. I still don't want to go. Really, I much rather live alone in my sad little apartment here than move to London with my dad, but--"

"But what?" she said, tears running down her face.

"I-I can't."

She looked at me as if she expected more. 

"I'm sorry.." I said. Again, not sure why I was apologizing. 

Tears spilled from her eyes as she hugged me with every bit of strength in her body. I knew I was taking longer than expected, but I couldn't push her away. This may be the last time I ever see her. That very thought sparked the tears. I began crying just as hard as she was. I couldn't imagine never seeing her again. Minutes passed before she finally let me go.

"Who's your dad?" she whimpered.

"His name's Harold," I said. Just then I heard the loud sound of a horn honking in the street. I dropped my chin to my chest and bit my lip. "I have to go." I cried. "I'll fill you in later.." Unfortunately the only "later" we would have would be on the phone. I wrapped her in my arms for one last hug before I left. She walked me to the door and waved until I was out of sight. 

I know this all seems silly. How can we miss each other so much? It was only two days, right? Well, two days was like two years with my friends. We were practically insperable. Not texting back within five minutes automatically meant you were dead or hospitalized. My connection to these three people was incredible. I'd never met cooler people. This was going to be a lot harder than I expected. 

***

Back in the taxi I was a mess The little bit of make up I had on was smeared all over my face, and tears kept falling from my eyes. Niall sat awkwardly, staring out the window. His hand rested on my knee, in attempt to comfort me. Liam took my right hand and held it in his grip, much like he had the night before. Nothing was said the entire way to the airport. 

The plane ride back was quiet as well. Niall slept, and Liam stared quietly out the window, watching the clouds. I sat silently drowning in my thoughts; doing everything in my power to keep from crying again. 

***

It was late when we arrived back in London. Niall was well rested from sleeping on the plane, but I was exhausted. I was hungry too, but I couldn't imagine eating dinner here. This being a "bachelor's pad" I couldn't imagine them having dinner together in the first place. I mean, unless you count everyone sitting on the couch with a slice of pizza in their hand. It's a shame too. The kitchen and dining room were both amazing sites. 

As we walked in the door I could see Zayn, Louis, and even Harry sitting on the couch. Without saying a word I walked up the stairs and into "my room." Niall and Liam helped me with my bags before quickly running back down stairs to join the others. Right as they left, I plopped down on the bed and closed my eyes. If it weren't for my hungry stomach I would have been asleep a lot faster. Just as I had managed to fall into a light sleep, I heard a knock on the door. I could tell that sleeping in this house would not be an easy task. 

"Go away, I'm sleeping," I groaned. A moment of silence passed before I heard the knock again. I got up and sighed loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear. To my surprise, it was Zayn.

"Soup's on downstairs," he said. "I've come to retrieve you." 

"I don't even like soup," I muttered, trying to get him to go away. I lied. I love soup. In fact, the sound of any kind of food made my stomach grumble.

He laughed. "Well first of all, 'soup's on' is an expression for 'dinner is ready.' Secondly, by the sound of that, I'd say you could use some."

He was right. I could use some. I was starving. But was going downstairs and feeling uncomfortable worth it? 

"Come on," he begged. "It's pizzzaaaaa." Wow. How ironic. 

"Oh, so it must be a family dinner," I muttered to myself.

"Huh?" he asked, confused. 

"Nothing," I smiled, quite satisfied with my own personal, little joke. He continued to stare blankly at me."Well? What are we waiting for?" 

He smiled, feeling accomplished, and we made our way downstairs. As we entered the kitchen, I jumped up on a bar stool next to Niall. The boys acted as if I wasn't even there. They all made there jokes and ate obnoxiously like any five boys would. I had basically spent the last two days with Niall and Liam, so their presence didn't bother me. Zayn was the one who brought me down here in the first place, and Louis had been fairly nice since I arrived. Honestly the only reason sitting here was uncomfortable was because of Harry. It was obvious the feeling was mutual. Harry had noticed I was there. He refused to joke around and be his "outgoing self" because he knew I was in the room. What was he afraid of? That I would judge him? I mean really. If that's his problem he needs to grow up. Not that I wouldn't. I would probably loathe him even more if he acted like himself, however I don't see why that would be a problem. I hate Harry. Harry hates me. It's peaceful if you think about it. 

***

After dinner, everyone gathered around in the living room. Apparently the nightly routine around here was: eat, watch tv until early morning, and then sleep. Now that my stomach was full, I had no desire to do the second part of the routine. All I wanted was sleep. As I began to make my way up the stairs Niall grabbed my hand and dragged me to the couch. Louis clicked on the enormous television and began surfing the channels. Little comments about what to watch filled the room. "Oh I LOVE that movie!" "I hate this show." "Are you kidding me?!" "People watch this?" "I can't wait to see that!" I groaned, although it was nearly impossible to hear me. I tried to break away again, but Niall caught me before I got anywhere. 

After about an hour of comments about what to watch they all finally decided on something. What they were watching, I'm still unsure of, for I could barely keep my eyes open. I ended up leaning my head on Niall's shoulder. Just when I thought I could get away with closing my eyes, Niall would move, yell, or laugh. God he laughs a lot. Throughout the night I endured little intervals of "Somebody kill me" or "Finally! Peace and quiet." The second one never lasted very long. Since I was clearly not interested in whatever the boys were watching I looked around the room focusing on anything that would keep me awake. Several times I caught Harry's glance. At first I thought I must have food on my face, until I realized the real reason why he looked so annoyed. I was laying on his best friend's shoulder. Papa Harry did not approve. I had to suppress a smile. This could be fun.


	9. Grown Up Stuff

As the night crept into early morning I had found my only reason to stay awake. Every time I caught Harry staring my direction, I would make some effort to snuggle closer to Niall. Thankfully Niall was too wrapped up in the television to notice. Truthfully, everyone was completely oblivious to anything outside of the big black screen. All except Harry. Harry saw every move I made. I could see the fire in his eyes as I moved closer to Niall. I wasn't sure what drove him crazier. The fact that his little daughter was cuddling with his best friend. Or, that the little demon was making herself a little too comfortable. I assumed it was the second one. Nevertheless, I was having a blast. I don't doubt that I let a smile slip from my lips once or twice, though I tried to play it off, as if I was paying attention to the television. 

I began to realize I had made a mistake. Harry wasn't the only one who noticed my every move. Oh no. As I strived to drive Harry nuts, I had caught someone else's attention. Every now and then Liam would nonchalantly glance my way and take note of how much closer I was to Niall. The consistency of his glances increased as he realized that there was no more room for me to get any closer to Niall. Niall and I were hip to hip, with my head still resting on his shoulder. I can't say this was the most comfortable position to be in, but it was a price to pay. I couldn't exactly read Liam's expression, but there was no doubt it bothered him. 

As the show came to an end I tossed and turned acting as if I was slowly waking up. I yawned, playing off my little act, and stood up to head upstairs. Before I could take a step, Harry stormed out of the room. Mission accomplished.

Looking around the room I could tell that everyone was quite confused about what just happened. In my search around the room I noticed another boy other than Harry was missing. Liam was gone too. Man, I'm getting really good at pissing him off. I yawned again, no longer acting, and accepted how tired I really was. I left the boys wondering as I dragged myself up the stairs and into bed. 

 

I woke up later that morning around 11:00. I had made the conclusion that it was too late for breakfast, and too early for lunch, so I stayed in my room and began putting things away. The enormous room was so spacious that I had no problem finding a place for everything. As I dug through stuff, I once again found that awful poster my mom had bought me. I began to crumple it, when I remembered Niall's face when I almost left it back at the apartment. That thought was followed by the memory of my mother's face when she first gave it to me. I sighed and put it in a drawer. It wouldn't be easy getting rid of that thing. 

Once I had everything unpacked I decided to take a gander at the bathroom. I had known when I had picked the room, that there was a private bathroom attached, but I had never explored it. My eyes grew wide at the sight of it. The bathroom itself was nicer than my entire bedroom at the apartment. The bathtub, shower, and sink were made soley of a light granite, that matched the sleek tiles on the walls and floor. The bathtub itself was a site to see. I wouldn't doubt that it could fit everyone in the house comfortably. Just around the corner of the large tub sat a tall shower with two shower heads, on opposite ends of each other. Across from the shower lay a massive mirror covering the wall, which sat nicely above the sink. A line of brightly-lit light bulbs formed around the mirror, giving whoever may use it, a perfect visual of their face. I didn't hesitate to try everything out. I immediately shut the door, stripped of my clothing and jumped in the tall shower. I was instantly in heaven as the two shower heads sprinkled steaming hot water over both sides of my body. 

After about twenty minutes in the God-like shower, I decided I had better get out. I wrapped a white fluffy towel around my lean body and made my way back into my bedroom. Since I had no idea what the day might hold for me, I dressed comfortably in a grey colored v-neck, and washed out jeans. I then returned to my amazing bathroom and began blow drying my long, blonde hair. I made sure, after it was completely dry, that every inch of my hair was straightened. I would do anything to look less like Harry. If I weren't so proud of my emerald green eyes, I would have made sure to get colored contacts or something. After a touch of make up, I decided I should probably go find some lunch. As I stepped quietly out of my room I noticed the house was silent. Either the boys had all abandoned me here, or boys really did sleep till 2:00 in the afternoon. 

Nevertheless, I made my way to the kitchen only to find Harry fixing his lunch. Fantastic. By the time I made the decision that I wasn't hungry anymore, Harry had already seen me. 

"Well hello there," he said softly.

Are you kidding me? Did he actually just speak to me? No. He's suppose to be mad at me. "Hi," I said, putting on my best fake smile. 

"Care for some lunch?" he asked. 

'Oh, what now you want to be a father?' I wanted to say so badly. Instead I kept up with my act. "Depends. Whatcha making?" 

"Oh just this delightful little thing they call a sandwich," he teased, and it almost seemed sincere. Why is being nice to me?

"Never heard of such a thing," I replied, sarcastically.

"Oh, you poor child. You must try one," he said, pushing a plate my way. 

On the plate lay a ham and cheese masterpiece. Though I wasn't a huge fan of ham, I took a bite, trying to please Harry. It was delicious. An unknown number of flavors surfaced in my mouth, and I couldn't have been more satisfied. "Wow. Quite the invention," I said, being careful not to seem too excited. "Seems to me, like you've mastered it."

"Thanks," he said, wearing that cheeky smile. Before anymore could be said, Zayn entered the kitchen yawning. He was wearing nothing but the gym shorts he had slept in. It was obvious he had been asleep all this time. 

"What's for lunch, Haz?" he said, jumping up on the bar stool next to me. 

"You tell me," Harry said, awaiting Zayn's reply.

"Uhm... I'm feeling like a nice grilled cheese sandwich."

"Oh that does sound good," Harry encouraged.

"I know," Zayn said, almost drooling.

"Well good luck," Harry smirked, and swiftly walked away, leaving Zayn groaning. 

I had finished half my sandwich when I looked up and saw Zayn eyeballing the rest of it. Though I really didn't want to give up my delicious sandwich, I slid him the plate. Just as Zayn picked it up and began moving in for a bite, Harry returned to the kitchen. When he recognized the sandwich in Zayn's hands, he took a full swing and slapped the back of Zayn's head. He then proceeded in taking the sandwich from Zayn and giving it back to me.

"What the hell, Harry?!" Zayn snapped, angrily.

"Get off your lazy ass and get your own food," he snapped back.

"She gave it to me!" Zayn exclaimed.

"Probably out of pity because your too damn lazy to do it yourself!"

Zayn mumbled something under his breath and then left the room. "You didn't' have to do that," I muttered quietly. 

"Don't worry about it. Zayn's always trying to mooch food off of people. You gotta learn fast to not let Zayn manipulate you," Harry said giving me a stern look.

"Lesson learned," I said, finishing my sandwich.

***

After lunch I sat in the living room replaying what just happened in my head. Harry talked to me. Harry wasn't mad at me. Harry deffended me in front of Zayn. I repeated those little things to myself several times trying to make any sense of them. Harry had gone back upstairs after I had finished eating, so I had the living room to myself. The sun was shining through the big glass window, radiating warmth over the middle of the room. I decided not to turn on the tv, and just lay in the warm sunlight. 

It wasn't long until someone else joined me in the living room. Without acknowledging my presence, Liam walked over to the big chair he seemed to always sit in, and began reading a book. At this point I honestly don't think he knew I was in the room with him, for he never even looked at me. It was that, or he was sincelerely pissed off. I decided to test it, just to be sure. 

I yawned and sat up to stretch. I watched as Liam basically jumped out of his skin. Good. He wasn't ignoring me. 

I laughed. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"No, I'm sorry. I had no idea you were in the room."

"Don't worry about it. I guess I'm glad I blend in so well," I teased.

Liam smiled, and then went back to reading his book. I continued to lay on the couch and soak in the warm sun. Minutes later, Niall entered the room and dropped down in the chair opposite from Liam. Without acknowledging our presence, he clicked on the tv and flipped to some football game. I watched Liam glare him down and I couldn't help but laugh a little. Niall kept his eyes glued to the tv. 

"Ahem," Liam cleared his throat.

"Oh hey, Liam." Niall said without tearing his eyes from the big screen.

"Can't you watch that somewhere else," Liam mumbled.

"Can't you do whatever you're doing somewhere else?" 

"Considering I was here first... no." Liam growled.

"I'm just gonna go find somewhere else to go," I said, starting to get up.

"No." Liam commanded. "Niall's leaving."

I sat back at Liam's command. 

"No, I'm really not," Niall looked at me, chuckling. I smiled a bit, and saw Liam shoot me a glare. 

The awkward vibes in the room were broken as Louis walked in fiddling with his car keys. He noticed the annoyance on Liam's face and saw it was directed at Niall. "C'mon Niall," he said. "We're going to the store." 

"Hell if we are," Niall protested. "The game's on!"

The next few minutes were quite humorous, as I watched Louis tackle Niall, take the remote and throw it to Liam. Liam then proceeded to turn off the television and smile at Niall. 

"Bye, bye," Liam smirked. 

"Fuck you guys," Niall scoffed, and walked out the door. 

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. Liam ignored me and went back to reading his book. Something was up with him. He would have never made Niall leave before. 

"Liam?" I said, interrupting his book.

"Yes?" he asked peering over it.

"What's wrong?" 

"What do you mean?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"I don't know. You seem... touchy today," I said hoping not to offend him.

"Oh. Nothing. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," he said quickly. "Too much on my mind, I guess."

"Like what?" I asked. Yeah, I was prying, but I wanted to know the cause of Liam's odd behavior.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "It's grown up stuff." 

"Ohhh right. Well then, never mind me, I'll just go upstairs and play with my dollys," I said, getting up and rolling my eyes.

"That a girl," he said mocking me.

"Oh. But before I go.." I walked over to his chair and leaned in close, whispering in his ear. "Don't forget to take your pain meds, Grandpa." I winked and then ran up the stairs. As I reached the top I looked down to see Liam smiling up at me. 

"What was that? I don't have my hearing aid in."


	10. Hot & Cold

Up in my room, I lay on the bed listening to my ipod and texting my friends. It has literally been three days since I left, and only 13 hours since I last seen them and I'm already lost. Addelyn's been texting me quite a bit filling me in on her day to day life. Peyton will strike up conversation every now and then, but Noah.. I haven't heard much from him. You see, Noah's that guy. You know what I'm talking about. The guy that is clearly meant for the girl, but they are both to stupid to realize it, so they are just best friends. It's not like I wanted to date him or anything, but I did care a lot about him. If I were to have feelings for someone, it would most likely be him. Noah's the sweetest guy I've ever met. The day I met him in kindergarten I thought he was really scrawny and weak, however, as he grew older he filled out a bit, and actually, within the last two years, became quite attractive. Noah was super tall, even compared to me, and I'm quite tall compared to the rest of the girls at my school. He was also very lean. His muscles didn't bulk, but he had them in his long, slim arms. His dirty blonde hair fell messily over his forehead, just above his eyes. His crystal blue eyes. He was very quiet, but was a load of fun if you knew him well enough. I really did miss him.

As I lay on my bed thinking of my friends and the things we did together, I heard a knock at the door. I don't understand what was so intriguing about my room, but everyone seemed to want in. 

"It's open!" I shouted, turning down my ipod. Looking up, I saw Niall appear in the doorway. "Hey you. Have fun at the store?" I asked smiling.

"Shut up," he frowned and approached my bed.

"What's up?" I ask, pulling my earphones out completely.

"Not a lot. Bored mostly. You?" he asked, sitting at the end of my bed.

"Just thinking about my friends. I miss them." I said, sighing.

"You just saw them yesterday. If you miss them already, living up hear won't be any fun at all." 

"Yeah. It's starting to feel that way."

"Oh come on! We're fun! Or at least... I am! Right?!" 

I laughed. "Oh yes, Niall. You are a hoot," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well I can't argue with that," he said, smiling confidently.

I rolled my eyes again, and threw a pillow at him. "You are so full of yourself!"

He shrugged. "I just know how awesome I am."

"Or how awesome you think you are," I said.

"Well I ought to tell you, I was talking to this girl once, and she told me that I was pretty cool."

"Oh yeah? Well she must have been on some heavy meds." I joked, knowing he was talking about me.

"Probably," he said aloud before leaning in and whispering, "I hear she's kind of crazy." 

"Hey!" I shouted and hit him with the pillow again. He just laughed, falling back on the bed.

"So, what's got you so bored?" I ask. "I mean, this place could keep me entertained for days."

"Well, I've been hear for more than just a few days, so it doesn't work that way. Besides, if it's so interesting, why are you all kept up in your room all the time?"

"I was downstairs earlier!" I defended myself.

"For like five minutes. That's why I got to keep checking up on you. You might go crazy on me and hurt yourself up hear all by lonesome," he smiled.

"Oh right. Thank you, kind sir. You are my savior." I commented, sarcastically.

"Don't worry about it, miss. It's all part of the job," he said, sticking out his chest, acting tough.

"Oh? And what would that job be?" I asked.

"Babysitting," he smiled, knowing it would tick me off.

I glared at him a minute, staying quiet, before I took my other pillow and slammed it down over his head.

"That's it!" he yelled, jumping up and smacking me with the previous pillow. 

"Ow!" I screamed, hitting him again with my pillow. Suddenly we were hitting each other back and forth, laughing hysterically. Minutes later we were both on our backs, laughing and smiling. "You are such a bully!" I teased.

"You started it!" 

"And I'm ending it!" I said hitting him one last time in the chest. 

"Oh no! Now you've done it again!" he smirked, and tackled me back on the bed. 

Niall had me in a full nelson, just as I caught Liam passing by in the hallway. I noticed him hesitate and glance into the room, before swiftly walking away. My smile quickly dropped to a frown, as I saw something was still bothering him. I began to wonder if I was stealing his friends away. Between him and Harry, I don't know whether I'm wanted or if I'm just causing trouble. 

Without warning, I was pulled out of my thoughts as Niall slammed me down on the bed and sat on me. 

"Get off of me you lard!" I said, huffing for air.

"Not with that attitude," he smirked, obviously confident in his strength.

"Pleaaase?" I asked, batting my eye lashes.

"I'm still not sold," he said, looking down at me.

"What do you want?" I said, still fighting for air.

"For you to admit that I'm the coolest person you know."

"But that would be a lie," I joked. He then proceeded to release some of the weight he was holding back, trying not to crush me, and he dug harder into my abdomen.

"OK! OK!" I said, gasping for air. "You," I breathed in. "are the coolest person I've ever met!" I puffed, breathing out.

"Aw thanks," he smiled, getting off of me.

As I caught my breath, I noticed another familiar face in the hallway. Harry had seen Niall sit on me, and didn't look very pleased. I saw him shake his head and walk away, in a disappointed manner. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but apparently I'm doing it wrong. This time Niall noticed the look on my face and became curious.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"The usual," I said.

He was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Let's just say, I'm really good at making people mad."

"Like who?" 

"Don't worry it's not important," I sighed, burying my face in my pillow.

"Apparently, it is," he said, pushing me over so he could see my face.

"Okay, so maybe it is important, but that doesn't mean I have to tell you," I said.

I watched as he stuck his bottom lip out and pouted. I shook my head gesturing that it wouldn't work, but he continued starting at me. 

I sighed. "Fine." I thought a minute how to start. "I'm pretty sure I've pissed Liam and Harry off big time, and I don't know what I did." 

He began to smile, but pushed it away.

"What?!" I said a bit offended that he was smiling.

"Nothing," he said, the smile reappearing.

"Tell me!" I demanded, staring him down.

"Well," he laughed. "I don't know why Liam's pissed, but I've got a pretty good idea why Harry might be."

I was taken back at this. "Really? Why?!"

"It could have something to do with the fact you were all over me last night," he said, releasing a full smile. 

I didn't know what to say. I didn't think he noticed. He didn't react! Shit. "You noticed?" I said, extremely embarrassed.

"Oh yeah," he smirked. He was having to much fun with this.

"I- I was just trying to- ya know- I mean, why didn't you push me away?" I finally spit out. 

He shrugged. "Because I was fairly sure of what you were doing, and frankly I thought it was hilarious."

I smiled a little. 

"Though, I am a little upset that you used me," he teased.

My smile grew wider. "Oh, you liked it," I joked, winking at him.

"Maybe," he shrugged.

I smiled a bit longer, before it dropped completely and I returned to my original thoughts. "Well, why is he still mad? He was fine earlier."

"You talked to him?" he was even caught of guard.

"Yeah. He made me a sandwich and then told me not to let Zayn manipulate me."

"Wow. Well, that's good! I'm glad he's trying."

I shrugged. It's a little late to start trying now.

He thought a minute, before speaking again. "I think I know why he's mad again."

"Well, don't keep it to yourself, tell me!"

"Look around and think about it," he replied.

I did as he said, and looked around. I was still completely confused."I don't understand," I mumbled. 

He began to lay down on his back and stare up at the ceiling, resting his hands behind his head. "My guess is that he's upset because that stud you were cuddling with last night is now in your bed," he smiled, happy with himself.

I put my head in my hands and sighed. "So Harry things I'm a slut."

"Naah, but he probably thinks I'm a pedophile," he laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, probably! Good thing there's nothing really going on. That could result in some big trouble for you," I said.

"Yeah!" his laugh started to fade. "Good thing..." he mumbled, his smile vanishing completely.


	11. "The Sixth Sense"

I laid in bed thinking of what I'd done to make them so upset with me, and what I could do to fix it. But where to start? I mean, I could go apologize to Harry, and assure him that there is nothing going on between me and Niall, but I don't even know why Liam's mad at me. I've considered confronting him and asking him what I've done several times, but I can't be sure that he'll tell me if I do. There's something about Liam, and I don't know what it is, that makes me search for his approval. I can't stand the feeling that I've done something to upset him. 

Niall left after about an hour or so of talking. I continued to lay in bed and think. Around seven, Zayn came up and told me it was time for dinner. I could tell by his expression that he wasn't used to having dinner together every night, but I just assumed it was another one of Harry's attempted efforts at being a father. As I walked into the kitchen I saw nothing but dishes in the sink. I was surprised to hear chatter coming from the dining room, which sat off from the kitchen and usually remained empty. I rounded the corner to find a room full of cheeky grins, and mouth watering smells. Every one of the boys was sat at the table with loads of food in front of them. Each of them had an empty plate, as they were waiting for me. I took a seat between Zayn and Louis and watched as Harry gave a nod and all the boys dug in. I looked to Harry who was wearing the biggest of all the cheeky grins and mouthed to him, "You did this?" He nodded again with no sign of his smile fading. "Wow," I mouthed back, before digging in to the delicious food. 

As I filled my mouth with the delicious dinner Harry had prepared, I couldn't help but glancing around the room. Louis, who sat next to me, was deep into conversation with Harry about him and his fiancé, Eleanor. I could see Harry's grin begin to fade as his best mate talked about his future and how he'd be moving out. Zayn, who was on the other side of me, ignored everyone, piling food into his mouth. Niall sat across from me, alternating between shoving food in his mouth and rambling to Liam about what they were going to watch on TV after dinner. It was obvious Liam was uninterested, but he still tried to give Niall his full attention. As usual, I caught Liam glance my way several times throughout dinner. I glanced in his direction often as well, trying to get his attention. However, every time I would look at him, he would look away. 

After dinner, everyone gathered in the living room, as usual. Louis got to Liam's chair before he did, and Harry took the one across from him. I sat in my usual spot on the couch, and Niall dropped down beside me. I saw Harry glance my way and I held up both hands in defense. I assumed that Harry and I were good, because he just chuckled and looked away. Liam was second to last entering the room, and since his chair was taken, he sat down beside me. Zayn entered the room last, and took a seat beside Niall. As soon as everyone was settled, I leaned back and anticipated the argument of what to watch.

Each of the boys exploded with ideas on what to watch, but were all cut off by Louis. "I think we should watch a movie tonight." Suddenly everyone was quiet. 

"Okay? So what do we watch?" Zayn asked.

Once again the entire room burst into murmurs of which movie to watch. I laughed to see Liam leaning his head back in annoyance. Just then the perfect movie popped into my head. 

"I think we should watch 'The Sixth Sense.'" Everyone turned to me as if I were crazy.

"A horror film?" Louis asked, unsure.

I shrugged. 

"I'm up for it!" Niall shouted.

Zayn and Harry shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

It was silent for a minute, before Louis shrugged and found the movie on Netflix.

I half regretted my choice as the movie began playing. I love watching scary movies, but I'm the worst at handling them. I can never seem to say no, but I also never fail to scream and/or jump. 

Niall got up to shut the lights off, and my nightmare began. I'm one of those people who get paranoid that the monster under the couch will grab their feet, so I quickly got up and retrieved a blanket. I got a few looks from around the room, because it was at least 70 degrees inside the house, but I ignored them and returned to the couch. As I sat back down, Niall rolled his eyes and smiled. In response, I playfully hit him in the shoulder and told him not to judge me. He stuck his tongue out at me, before turning his attention to the movie.

In all honesty, "The Sixth Sense" isn't really all that scary, but nonetheless, I jumped every time one of the ghosts appeared. Niall made fun of me during the first few jumps, but began ignoring me around the sixth. I'm pretty sure I made Liam jump every time I did, just because he wasn't expecting it. Halfway through the movie, I had already jumped about 8 times, and was completely wrapped up in my blanket, barely peeking over the top. Just when I thought I was done jumping, I felt a hand wrap around my own. This was probably the biggest jump of them all, for it was an intense part of the movie, and I wasn't expecting anyone to touch me. Before I could process what was going on, Niall shot me an odd look.

"What are you jumping for? Nothing has even happened yet," he questioned me.

I shrugged. "Just getting ready.." I teased.

"Weirdo," he said, rolling his eyes, once again.

"I told you not to judge me!" I whispered.

He chuckled to himself, and returned his attention back to the movie. When I was sure he wasn't paying any more attention to me, my mind exploded. The hand that had previously wrapped itself around mine, was still there and showed no sign of movement. I glanced to my left, looking out the corner of my eye for any response from it's owner, but no reaction was given. Any interest in the movie was torn from my mind, as I contemplated what was happening. Before completely freaking out, I decided to test it. I locked my eyes on the big TV screen, making sure it was obvious I was paying attention to the movie, and ever so slightly turned my hand over, so my palm was facing up. Without removing it's grip, Liam's hand readjusted, and interlocked it's fingers with mine. My throat went dry, and my mind went wild as reality set in. Every question you can think of ran through my mind. 'What is he doing? Why? What does this mean? Is he being serious? Why is he acting like this isn't a big deal?' and many more all gathered in the midst of my thoughts. I continually glanced up at him, searching for some sort of reaction, but his face remained the same. After moments of panic, I began to relax and calm myself down. I repeatedly told myself that it wasn't what I thought it was, and eventually, everything would make sense. Though the questions didn't part from my mind, I tried focusing, once again, on the movie.

The rest of the movie went fairly smooth. I was too consumed in my thoughts to even think about the ghosts, and everyone else seemed to be having a good time. As the movie came to an end, Niall jumped up to turn on the lights, and I immediately felt Liam release my hand. Yawns and meaningless murmurs filled the room as each of the boys got up to stretch. Zayn, who had fallen asleep during the movie, left the room without saying anything. Harry and Louis both mumbled "g'night" before dragging themselves up the stairs, as well. Liam and Niall stayed back to chat, and I got up to follow everyone else. 

My mind was still filled with unanswered questions, and I could only hope it wasn't showing on my face. I mumbled "goodnight" as I started for the stairs, but was quickly cut off.

"Leaving so soon?" Niall asked, putting on his "puppy dog eyes".

"Yep. I'm exhausted," I lied. I couldn't even think about sleep.

"Oh, c'mon. Just a few more minutes?" Niall begged.

I glanced to Liam, hoping for some response, but was disappointed when his face remained the same. 

"Nah, I'm just gonna go to bed," I half-smiled, and began walking up the stairs.

"Okaaaay. Well goodniiight!" Niall shouted, obviously not tired at all.

"Goodnight," I said, looking briefly back at him. Before turning back to walk up the stairs, my eyes caught Liam's warm, caramel ones. 

"Goodnight," Liam whispered, softly. 

"Goodnight," I said, without shifting my eyes. The few moments I spent staring briefly into his eyes, felt like a lifetime. It wasn't until Niall coughed, that I snapped back to reality.

"You okay?" I mumbled, erasing Liam from my mind.

"Yeah?" he laughed. "I'm fine."

"Ohh," I laughed awkwardly, "good!" I finished, and sprinted up the stairs. 

As I closed the door to my bedroom, I immediately walked to my bed and fell face first into my pillows.

A loud groan escaped my lips, as Liam reentered my mind.

It was going to be a long night.


	12. "Goodnight, Rae."

I tossed and turned the rest of the night, getting very little sleep. Each time I would wake up, I would stare at the ceiling and think of some possible explanation of the night's events. Around six o'clock in the morning, I finally managed to fall asleep. It didn't last long, though, before I was awoken by a loud banging at my door. I rolled to my left to see that it was 8:00 in the morning. I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed and over to the door. I opened the door to find Louis, Niall, and Zayn wearing big smiles. 

"What do you want?" I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

Louis was the first to speak up. "We're going on an adventure." None of their smiles seemed to fade.

"Yeah! So, get ready!" Niall chimed in.

"Is this 'adventure' optional?" I mumbled.

"Nope!" they all said in unison. 

Before I could saying anything else, Zayn began. "We're leaving in about 10 minutes. Just as soon as you, Liam, and Harry get your asses downstairs."

My mind snapped to attention at the sound of Liam. I had managed to forget about him for a whole ten seconds. 

As my mind was once again overcome with thoughts of Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis stared at me waiting for a response. 

"Fine..." I murmured, hoping they would leave me alone.

"Great," Louis smirked. "See you in ten." And with that, they all left.

Back inside my room, I dragged myself over to dresser. With one quick look in the mirror, I made the decision I was going no where without a shower. I shot Niall a text, before getting into my angelic shower. Hey. So... It may be 15 minutes. ... or 20. Almost instantly I got a response: HURRY! I replied with a ;) and jumped in the shower. It wasn't long before I had already wasted seven of my ten minutes in the shower. I can't express enough how amazing it is in there. I decided to leave my hair wet, dreading the fact that it would naturally curl itself and resemble Harry's. Realizing I was already 3 minutes over my designated time, I threw on a hoodie and some jeans, and ran downstairs. 

As I entered the living room, I was welcomed by 5 pairs of eyes, all glaring at me. 

"What?" I smirked. "I'm a girl." 

Each of the five pairs rolled their eyes and hurried out the door.

"Just get in the car!" Niall yelled, shoving me out behind the others.

In the car, I was stuck between Niall and Harry. Louis was the leader in this whole expedition, so he drove, while Liam accompanied him in the passenger's seat. Since the car only had five seats, Zayn voluntarily rode in the open trunk. 

"Where are we going?" I groaned, still grumpy from not getting enough sleep.

"You'll see," Niall smiled.

Within five minutes we were stuck in London traffic. I continued to complain, while the boys ignored me and took part in their own conversations. I then sighed and leaned my head on Niall's shoulder, too tired to give any thought to Harry's opinion. It didn't last long though, before Niall started shaking me and telling me to quit being so lazy. I punched him lightly like I usually did, and almost instantly it turned into a war. Literally seconds after my fist hit Niall's shoulder, he grabbed it and twisted it behind my back. I groaned, not having any strength to fight back, while he sat back and laughed. I could hear Louis laughing from the driver's seat, accompanied by Zayn's in the trunk. 

"Don't break her, Niall!" Zayn yelled, obviously getting to much enjoyment out of my pain.

"She started it!" he said, defending himself.

Glancing up, I could see Harry looking my way. It was very apparent that he didn't find any of this funny. 

As soon as Niall let me go, I immediately dropped my head back down to his shoulder. This time, he just shook his head. He knew it was useless fighting back. I could feel the car begin to move again, but didn't bother moving my head. Before I knew it, I was out cold.

I was eventually awoken by aggressive shaking and continuous yelling. As my body began to wake up and my mind started processing things again, I realized the car had stopped, and I was being man handled by Niall.

"WHAT?!" I shrieked, opening my eyes. Suddenly all was quite.

"We're here.." Niall mumbled, looking down at his hands. Maybe I over reacted.

I looked around only to see darkness everywhere. "A parking garage?" I said questioningly. "'Our big adventure' is a parking garage?"My question was quickly answered with glares from almost everyone in the car.

"Yes," they all said sarcastically. 

I rolled my eyes, knowing that it wasn't the smartest question.

"Actually," Louis piped up, "The 'big adventure' is out there," he said pointing to an exit.

Just then, everyone began getting out of the vehicle. Without a word, I unbuckled my seatbelt and followed them out. I was welcomed by the extremely bright sun and an massive building in front of me. My eyes followed the large building up and up until they reached it's peak. I could only stand and stare in amazement. 

"You can't live in London, without really seeing it," Harry said, smiling softly. 

"That there, is Big Ben," Zayn added. Obviously I knew what it was, but I decided to keep my mouth shut. 

"Wow," I said, still staring at the fantastic building. 

With that, Louis came up behind me, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and started walking forward. "Well, let's go," he smiled.

That day, the boys had shown me every part of London worth seeing. We had left around 8:30, and had just finished up around 6:45. They showed me everything from "Buckingham Palace" to the best place to eat. Niall had made it clear that Nando's was the place to go. That being said, we decided to go there for dinner. 

***

You could see the exhaustion on everyone's faces as we settled around a table. It was apparent that they boys hadn't been this busy in a long time. Even, so it looked as if they were all having a great time. 

At the table, I sat in between Niall and Liam. I was surprised when Liam had taken the seat next to me, because he hadn't said more than four words to me all day. Throughout the day he would occasionally whisper some "secret fact" about the places the boys were showing me in my ear, though I'm pretty sure half of them were lies. Other than that, he kept fairly quiet. Niall had come back around, after I apologized for screaming at him, and I spent most the day joking around with him. Louis was a wonderful tour guide, and Zayn was great at being slow. We had to retrace our steps several times to find him, because he would spend 10 extra minutes looking at things, he had already seen a thousand times. Harry would chime in every now and then, helping Louis explain something, but mainly he just chatted quietly with Louis, or made no noise at all. 

Niall and I were still joking around, when the waitress came up to take our order. I let each of the boys go first, before deciding I would just have the famous Peri-Peri chicken. As the waitress left, I turned to talk to Niall again, but was interrupted by Louis. 

"So, how do you like London?" he asked, with a grin.

"It's no Colorado..." I mumbled. His grin began to fade.

"It's better," I smiled. "It's so pretty. I love it." 

As I spoke, everyone's face lit up with a smile.

"That's great!" Louis said.

"I knew you wold like it," Niall smirked. 

"Of course you did," I said rolling my eyes.

Suddenly I felt a hand rest on my knee. Without hesitation, my eyes shot straight to Liam.

"I'm glad you like it, here," he smiled softly. 

"Me too," I said, still surprised. "I guess if I'm going to be forced against my will to live here, I might as well like it," I finished, glancing over at Harry. I watched as Harry's bored, straight face, crept into a small, ornery smile. Liam nodded, and then returned to his conversation he was having with Zayn. It was not until our food came, around 20 minutes later, that Liam finally removed his hand from my knee. 

***

It was quite the trip across town to get back to the house, not even acknowledging London traffic. I figured we had about a 20 minute trip, maybe even longer, if the traffic was bad. As we got in the car, Harry jumped in the passenger seat, I assumed to continue the on-going conversation he had been having with Louis throughout dinner. Niall and I sat in our original spots, and Liam sat next to me, taking Harry's spot. Within minutes of getting in the car, Zayn was asleep in trunk. It was almost 9:00 as we finally started our journey back home. Aside from the many lights of London, everything was dark. It wasn't long before I caught Niall falling asleep, leaning against the window. I decided to try and stay awake this time, taking in the nighttime beauty of this great city. I wasn't sure what was going on with Liam, so I didn't know whether or not I should talk to him. I leaned my head back and locked my eyes on the windshield in front of me, my mind falling victim to my thoughts. If my mind didn't already have enough to think about, it sure would as I felt Liam take my hand in his own, and interlock his fingers with mine. Though it was unexpected, I didn't freak out as much as I had the first time. I glanced up expecting to see him looking forward, but was surprised when I saw his warm caramel eyes staring into my cool emerald ones. My body froze, not knowing what to say, or do. The left side of Liam's mouth raised ever so slightly, before he turned his head and began looking out the window. When I was sure my body wasn't paralyzed, I relaxed and returned to my thoughts. I would be lying if I were to say Liam wasn't the center of them. 

Just our luck, traffic was terrible, and it took longer than expected to get home. I began to grow tired, and debated whether or not to give in and sleep, or to tough it out. As I glanced around the vehicle, everyone was asleep, aside from Liam and Louis. Even Harry had tired of conversation, and had fallen asleep. Though I was sure we were close to home, I let my heavy eyes win, and leaned my head lightly on Liam's shoulder. I knew he didn't mind, because I could feel him tighten his grip around my hand. I slightly remember Liam drawing circles on my hand with his thumb, before drifting into complete, isolate darkness.

When I awoke next, everything was completely black. My body was still numb with exhaustion, and I knew I wouldn't be awake very much longer. My mind tried to make sense of what was happening, and I noticed that I was moving. Suddenly I felt the softness of my mattress consume me as I was laid down on the bed. Almost immediatly my eyes closed and sealed themselves shut, once again. I felt a tug at my ankles, as my shoes were removed, and was soon very warm beneath my covers. The last real thing I remember was the touch of what I assumed to be Liam's soft lips on my forehead, and his deep, tired voice whispering "Goodnight, Rae."


	13. Heavy Breathing

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I wasn't exactly sure why I was smiling, but there was no doubt that I was. I woke rather early, and took a nice long bath. Just so you know, the bathtub is just as great as the shower. After my bath, I brushed my long blonde curls out, and made the decision not to straighten them. I slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of running shorts, and made my way down to the kitchen. The house was quiet, like it usually is this early in the morning, for all the boys are sound asleep. I grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen, and made my way to the living room to watch a little television. However, when I approached the couch, I found Zayn spread out across it. 

"Zayn," I said, shaking his shoulder. "Zaaayn."

"Whaaa?" he groaned, looking up, his eyes partially closed.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like you didn't make it very far." 

Slowly but surely he began lowering his head again, falling back into his sweet slumber. I shrugged and decided to leave him alone. On my way back to my room, I ran into Niall in the hallway. He himself was still half asleep, and was wearing nothing but his sweat pants. 

"Heeey," he yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Hi," I chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"Going to the bathroom," he said, his eyelids halfway shut.

"What's wrong with the one in your room?" 

"The whaaa??" he mumbled. 

"Don't you have a bathroom in your room?" I asked, calmly.

"You. Are. So. Smart," he said, yawning once again. 

I laughed. He was a mess. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was wasted. I don't blame him. Yesterday was a long day.. for everyone. "Let's get you back to your room," I said, leading him back toward his door.

"Sounds good," he mumbled.

As we reached his door, I began to walk away when he grabbed my wrist. I looked up to see his sleepy, crystal blue eyes staring down at me. I have to admit, "Sleepy Niall" was quite attractive. 

"What?" I said, shaking away my thoughts.

He stared a minute longer, before coming back to reality. "Nothing," he said quietly. I could feel his warm breath on my face. 

"I think you should go back to bed, Niall," I said, laughing it off. 

"Okay," he smiled, returning to his room.

I shook my head and smiled, as I walked back down the long hallway. That boy is something else. On my way back to my room, I paused at Liam's door. It was partially open, and I had a clear view of his bed. He was sound asleep, laying shirtless, beneath his pure white covers. He looked so peaceful. I became consumed in my thoughts as I watched Liam sleep. So much had happened in the last couple days, that I really didn't even know how to react. Was he just, protecting me? If so, why was he holding my hand? If it was to calm me down in during the movie, I get that, but what about the car? I was perfectly fine in the car. All the different explanations swarmed around in my head, and I began to feel sick. 

All of a sudden, Liam yawned and began stretching his arms. I pulled myself out of my thoughts and tried to make it seem like I was just passing through, but before I could get away he saw me. At first he looked unsure as to why I was staring at him, but then he flashed me a warm smile. I smiled back awkwardly, not knowing what to do. 

"Sorry for waking you," I mouthed, trying to break the never ending silence.

"You didn't wake me," he mouthed back, smiling. 

I smiled back, more sincerely this time, and began walking back to my room. Once in my room, I sat back and began thinking of anything I could to get my mind off of Liam. My attempt failed. Within minutes, I was sprawled across my bed, staring at the ceiling. I thought again about confronting Liam. "Liam," I whispered. "What's been going on with you?" No. That doesn't sound right. "Is there something you need to tell me?" No, no, no. What if there isn't anything he has to tell me, and I'm just making this up. "Hey." Yeah. Hey. That's easy enough. Dear Lord, what am I doing? I sighed. This was useless. Before to long, I had thought myself to sleep. As my mind drifted into unconsciousness, I began dreaming. At first, all I saw was darkness. When light reappeared, and everything was visible again, I was sitting in my sad little apartment in Colorado. I was talking on the phone with Noah and Addelyn, laughing about Noah's new crush. "What?" he yelled. "She's cute!" Addelyn and I both busted into laughter as he tried to defend himself. All of a sudden, my phone started beeping, letting me know I had an incoming call. "Hold on, guys." I laughed, as I answered the call. As I listened to the person on the other line speak, my face dropped from my happy grin, to absolute disbelief. The phone dropped out of my hand, and I stared blankly ahead of me. My mouth dropped, gaping open, and tears began to form in my eyes. My mother was dead. 

Chills ran down my spine, and my body cringed. For the first few minutes, I couldn't say anything. However, once I could, I began screaming. Tears blinded me, as I screamed bloody murder. "WHY?!" I screamed, picking up my phone and throwing it across the room. "WHYYYY?!?" My body began shaking repulsively as I began throwing everything I could get my hands on. Just then the lights flashed off. When they flashed back on again, I was lying in the middle of the floor, perfectly still. My usually full lips, were pale and cracked. My face dry as well, for I had finally produced every tear possible, and could make no more. My breathing slowed, but would occasionally stop all together, making me cough my lungs out. In a sense, I was dead. Nothing mattered to me anymore. The one person in the entire world-- no-- my entire world, was gone. 

I woke up in a cold sweat. I sat up immediately, trying to push those awful memories to the back off my mind. I looked up, panting only to see Liam standing in the doorway. When I looked at him he was smiling, but his smile quickly faded when he saw my sad expression. Instantly I looked back down, biting my lip, as the thoughts returned. In a flash, Liam was in front of me, throwing his arms around my shaking body. 

"It's okay," he whispered, pulling my head into his chest. "It's going to be okay." In response, I wrapped my arms around his waist, tears forming in my eyes. Just as he had done many times before, he held me until I finished crying. 

As our long hug came to an end, Liam lifted my chin up asking if I was alright. I nodded, letting him wipe away my remaining tears wit his thumbs. 

"Bad dream?" he asked, careful on the subject.

I nodded again, whispering, "My mom." 

His face grew even more concerned at the sound of my shaky voice. In the blink of an eye, he was positioned in front of me on the bed holding both my hands in his own. He said nothing, in fear he would say something that would trigger my tears again. 

"I'm okay," I said, the tears now gone. He looked at me hopefully, and I faked a smile. "Thank you," I finished, trying to get off the subject.

"No thanks necessary. I'm hear for you. Wherever. Whenever," he reassured me.

I nodded, smiling for real. More silence passed, before I spoke again. "L-liam?" I stuttered, still trying to steady my voice. 

"Yes?" 

I thought for a moment about what I was going to say. This may be the perfect time to confront him. "Why--" I started to say, but decided against it. "Why were you staring at me?" I asked, throwing something out there, so I didn't sound dumb. 

He blushed. "I could ask you the same thing now, couldn't I?

I blushed too. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't even try to deny it. I saw you staring in at me," he smiled.

"I was just passing through!" I said, defending myself.

"Yeah, passing your eyes through my door," he laughed. 

"You're just imagining things." I scoffed.

"Imagine you staring at me while I was sleeping? Now why would I do that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Because..." Liam's grin thickened as he realized I didn't have a good come back. "Because you wish it would happen!" 

In a split second his smile was gone. "Not true..." he said unconvincingly. 

"Whatever," I said, letting it go. "You still didn't answer why you were staring at me."

"Payback." 

"For what? I didn't hurt you." I said.

"Nor did I hurt you," he replied.

Damn. He had a point. I sighed in defeat. "Fine."

He smiled. "Glad that's settled."

"Mhmm." I mumbled. 

"So did you like the view?" he said, winking at me.

I smiled. "You are such a loser."

"Well that's not nice!" he pouted.

I laughed, and before anything else was said, he was laughing too.

Seconds later, Niall passed through, stopping at the door. "What's going on in here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," I said through a laugh. "Just talking." Liam laughed too, leaving Niall confused. 

A small frown appeared on Niall's face, as I returned my attention back to Liam. "Okay, then," he whispered, quickly leaving the room. 

"So, what's the plan for the rest of the day?" I asked Liam. 

"I don't make plans," he said laying down on his side. "Besides, I'm having fun." he smiled, propping himself up on his elbow. 

I laid down, in front of him, mimicking his position. "Is that so?"

"Would I lie to you?" he asked, smiling.

"I'm not sure yet." I said, teasing him.

He pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "You're mean today."

I laughed. "And you're a baby."

"There you go again! You better watch yourself."

"Whatcha gonna do?" I said, acting tough.

"This," he said, pulling me into him, tickling my sides.

"Stop!" I yelled, laughing.

"Not until you apologize!" he yelled back, laughing just as hard.

"Liam, seriously!" I laughed. "Stop!"

"Apologize!" he demanded. 

"No!" I shouted, refusing to admit defeat.

"You shouldn't have said that!" he said, holding me down, continuing to tickle me.

"LIAM!" I shouted, barely breathing in between laughs. "I-I"m sorry!"

And with that, he stopped. I rolled over, out of breath, trying to calm myself down. "I hate you," I said, glaring at him.

He smiled not taking it personally. "I warned you."

I laid on my back breathing heavily, ignoring him.

He returned to his position, leaning on his elbow. This time, however, he hovered over me. He stared down at me, saying nothing, leaving me to stare back at him. 

"What?" I whispered, almost inaudible.

He said nothing, continuing to stare at me. I stared back, looking into his warm, inviting eyes. Complete silence filled the room. Within seconds, he was leaning in, getting closer and closer to my face. I had barely been able to catch my breath, before it began to quicken again. Suddenly he was mere inches away from my face. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my lips. Just when I thought he couldn't get any closer, he paused. I closed my eyes in anticipation. Though it was just a few seconds, it seemed like several minutes. He began to lean in again once more, but stopped millimeters in front of my awaiting lips. My heart was beating like a drum in my chest. He proceeded to close his eyes, and bit his own lip, sighing. "I'm sorry." he whispered, pulling his face away. Without warning he got up and left the room, leaving me breathless.

Once again, I was left alone, laying victim to my thoughts, and I was getting real sick of it.


	14. Positives & Negatives

"What the hell?" is basically the only words I could use to describe what happened. Literally, my mind could not process anything. I was this big mix of emotions. Everything from pure anger to disappointment to complete confusion took over my thoughts. I was mad for a number of reasons, but mostly because I didn't know what was going on. There was no avoiding the fact that Liam almost kissed me. So why didn't he? Did I do something? No, wait. Stop! I don't want him to kiss me! Or, at least.. I shouldn't! Liam is clearly a significant amount of years older than me. Kissing me would have been wrong. My mind battled between these thoughts. Part of me did want to kiss Liam, but the other part, the more logical part, knew it was best he didn't.

As I suffered through my thoughts, I heard my phone vibrate. It was Addelyn.

Addeyln Moore -- Haay, get on Skype! :)

I was in no mood for other people.

Sure, hang on one second. 

Almost routinely, I got out my laptop and logged into Skype. I couldn't refuse my best friend. It's not like I had anyone else to talk to. When Skype finally signed me in, I instantly received a video call from AddyJ45. Ironically, no one called her "Addy" other than herself. 

"Heeey!" she smiled, as her face came into focus.

"Hi," I smiled, a little less enthused..

"How ya been?" 

"I'm alright," I lied. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Ya know, other than my best friend moving across the world," she snapped.

"I'm sorry!" I said. "I didn't ask for this!"

"I know," she laughed. "I'm just messing. So what's up? Why the glum face?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't even Rae. A blind person could tell something's up with you." 

"I'm fine." I said, coldly.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. "I have news for you!"

"Oh, and what's that?" I asked, curious.

"Well, you didn't hear this from me, but . . . Noah's in love with you!!"

It was quiet a moment, as I took in what she just said. 

"Rae?" she said, as I continued to space off.

"..Wh-what?" I said, in hopes I heard it wrong.

"Noah is in love with you," she repeated, smiling happily. "He can't stop talking about you!" I froze, as she went on. "Ever since you left, you've been all he can talk about. Peyton even said he was crying after you left." Noah? Crying? Impossible. "He's always texting me, asking how you are, too," she went on. 

"Why doesn't he just ask me?" I asked, cutting her off.

She shrugged. "Shy, I guess. Doesn't matter, isn't this great?!"

I shook my head in disbelief. "Great?! Why is this great?" 

"Don't play games, Rae. I know you've been in love with him since, like 8th grade."

"You're nuts!" I began to shout.

"Admit it!" she pried.

"There's nothing to admit! Noah and I are just friends," I said defending myself. 

"Oh, quit lying to yourself Raegan. We both know you two belong together."

"Addelyn, you're insane!"

She stopped arguing, and glared at me.

"And even if we were 'suppose to be together,'" I continued, "we aren't even in the same country!" 

Her glare very slowly began turning into a smile.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"I think you just admitted it," she grinned.

"No, I didn't." I snapped.

"Yes, you did."

"Just stop! It doesn't even matter." I shouted, giving up.

"Raegan, what is wrong with you?" she shouted back. "You just found out the lovely 'boy next door' is in love with you, and you're yelling at me!" 

I sighed. She's right. I am yelling at her, and it has nothing to do with her. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, trying to calm down.

"Just tell me what's up, Rae."

I shook my head. I couldn't tell her about Liam. She would think I'm a freak.

"Raaee?" 

"There's someone else." I muttered. 

"What?" she snapped, surprised. Oh God... Why did I just say that?

"There's someone else.." I repeated quietly. What am I doing?!

"WHO?!" she screamed. 

I shook my head, not saying a word. 

"WHO IS IT?!" she screamed again.

"Nobody! Forget what I said. I-I was lying," I stammered.

"Dammit Raegan. You can't do this to me! Who is it?! Is he cute?! British, I assume?!"

"Yes... and yes," I nodded, slowly.

"Well who is it?! I mean, jeez! If you already found someone, you must be just buzzing around England!" She stopped and thought a minute. Before I could blink her curious smile, turned into a suspicious glare. "Unless..."

I froze. She read me like a book.

"You're not, Rae...." 

I stayed absolutely silent. 

"Rae, tell me you're not with one of them." Before I could say anything she went on. "They're like thirty, Raegan! That's-that's illegal! Besides that, it's just wrong! You have to break up with him!" 

"I'm not 'with' any of them!" I shouted, breaking my silence.

"Oh, thank God," she sighed. "What is it then?"

I sighed. "Liam almost kissed me......" I mumbled as quietly as I could.

"He what?!" she began shouting again. 

"Shhh! I said almost." 

"So you stopped him?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. "Not exactly." 

"Raegan!" she blew up.

"What?! I didn't do anything!"

"You're leading him on!"

"What are you talking about?! Nothing happened!" 

Suddenly, Addelyn took a deep breath, bit her lip, and calmed down. She glared at me a minute before finally speaking. "You need to make sure he knows that it can't happen."

"That what can't happen?" 

"That you two cannot be together!"

I sat very still, saying nothing. 

"Understand?" she said beginning to raise her voice, again. 

I nodded. "Yeah, okay. Look, I gotta go..." 

"Ah come on, Rae. I'm just trying to help." 

"Yeah.. I know. Thanks...." I said, before logging off, and closing my laptop. 

This is just fantastic. I know she's right, but it just makes me feel worse. I just don't understand why I'm getting the bad end of this? I mean, he started it. He's the one who held my hand in the first place, and then again, and then made the attempt to kiss me. I just sat through it. Okay, so maybe that doesn't make me any better, but no one's yelling at him for it. Not only that, but if Addelyn was telling the truth, I now know that my best friend is in love with me. I can't decide if I'm happy, or mad about it. I love Noah, he's no doubt the coolest guy on the planet, but knowing that he likes me, especially now that I'm in a different country, just bothers me. I sighed, knowing I had way to much to think about. I decided to give up, and go see what everyone else was doing downstairs. It was almost supper time, anyway. 

***

Downstairs was almost as depressing as upstairs. Everyone was in the living room, but not a single person looked happy. Liam sat in 'his' chair, with is nose in his book, while the others were on their phones. Everyone, except Zayn, he was still groggy. He really did sleep all the time. Louis looked worried about something, and Harry simply looked bored. Niall wore an agitated look on his face, as he played games on his phone. Wow, today is just lovely..

I paused at the end of the staircase, debating whether or not to return to my own awkward silence, rather than be apart of everyone else's. Before I could make my own decision, Louis spotted me.

"Hey Rae," he smiled, though something seemed to be bothering him. 

"Hi Lou.." I said quietly, entering the living room.

Harry looked up as I sat on the couch beside Niall. He forced a smile, and I replied with a weak nod. I know he was trying, but I was not in the mood for our fake father/daughter relationship. 

"Hey," I said quietly, as I sat down next to Niall. He said nothing. "Niall?" I said, just a touch louder. Again, he didn't respond. "Niall!" I said, shaking his knee. 

"Oh, sorry. Were you talking to me?" he snapped.

"What's your problem?" I asked, a bit caught of guard by his attitude.

"I'm sorry. Something else needed my attention," he glared.

"Look, I don't know what crawled up your ass, but leave me out of it," I snapped back. And with that he left, storming up the stairs. I sighed, receiving a few glances around the room. I ignored them and glanced over to Liam, who had his nose so deeply buried in his book. He was expressionless. To be honest, I don't think he was actually reading the book. Nonetheless, he refused to look up from it. Minutes later, Harry got up, to cook dinner. Louis jumped up right behind him to help him, still just as worried about whatever it was he was originally worried about. Soon it was just me, Zayn, and Liam. However, since Liam was 'so into his book' it was basically just me and Zayn.

"So, Zayn.. How was your nice, 9 hour nap?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Too short," he yawned. "What'd you do today?" 

Suddenly, I could feel Liam's eyes on the back of my head, waiting for a response.

"Oh, not a lot. Took a nap, skyped with Addelyn." And with that, Liam's eyes returned to his book.

"Ah, fun. What'd she have to say?" he asked, surprisingly pleasant.

"Just news about Noah." 

"Good or bad, news?"

"Erm.. interesting news," I said.

"Care to share?" he asked.

"Well.. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter..." I started to say, "Addelyn told me that he's in love with me." Almost instantly I could feel Liam's eyes return to the back of my head.

"Ohh wow," Zayn said. "That's.. something."

I chuckled a little at Zayn's response. "Yeah, I'm not sure what to think." 

He nodded understandingly.

"Besides," I added, "He is on the other side of the world."

"Ah, good point," Zayn said. Just then, Louis peeked in and let us know that dinner was almost ready. Whatever it was, it sure smelled good.

As we gathered around the dining table, I was happy to sit between Zayn and Louis. Niall had stomped back down the stairs, and took the seat across from me. I looked up, only to meet his gaze. He was still very unhappy.

"What did I do?" I mouthed, so only he would see me.

He just shook his head. 

I sighed, and turned my attention to supper. I didn't even notice that I missed lunch. Man, was I hungry. Harry came in, shortly after everyone was seated with a big bowl of pasta. As he set it down, everyone dug in, shoveling it onto their plates, and into their mouths. 

Most of dinner was silent. Louis and Harry chatted about life, as they oh so oftenly did, and Niall listened quietly. I'm pretty sure Zayn was trying to listen to, though I think he was more focused on eating and breathing at the same time. I would occasionally glance up at Liam, expecting him to be staring, but not once did I see him look up from his plate. He ate slowly, not looking, or speaking to anyone. I decided to listen to Louis and Harry, ignoring everyone else. They spoke of Eleanor, and how Louis was beginning to worry if things were going to work out. Just the other night, he was beaming with talk of her, and now he was talking like this. It was obvious he wasn't happy about it, and if anything she was the one having second thoughts. I felt bad for Louis as I listened to him go on and on about her. It was very apparent that he loved her. I began listening toward the end of the conversation, so I didn't exactly understand what the problem was. Even so, it was heartbreaking. 

When almost everyone had finished their dinner, Liam got up and made his way to the living room. Niall followed close behind, with Zayn on his tail. I assumed Zayn was tired of getting last choice of seating. I was second to last to enter the living room, for I had helped Harry clean up the dining room. I sat in my normal spot, in the middle of the couch, right between Niall and Louis. My theory was proven wrong, when Zayn picked the seat he was always stuck with. Harry entered last, and sat in his chair across from Liam. I looked from face to face wondering who was going to start the argument over what to watch, but no one said anything. For the first five minutes, no one even turned on the television. We all sat in silence, waiting for one another to make the first move. 

"Soo.." Harry said, breaking the long silence.

"I don't really feel like watching TV," Louis said, getting up, and storming up the stairs.

"Yeah.. Me either," Niall spat, following him.

Silence remained as Liam, Harry, Zayn and I sat staring at one another.

"Come to think of it, I'm not really in the mood either," Liam said, getting up and following the other two up the stairs.

Suddenly it was just me, Zayn, and Harry. 

"Are you two going to leave too?" Zayn asked, looking from me to Harry.

I glanced at Harry waiting for his response. He shook his head no, smiling slightly in amusement. 

"No," I said, looking back to Zayn. "We're staying."

"Good," he smiled. "If you left, I'd having nothing to do but go to bed... and to be honest, I don't think I can handle anymore sleep." 

Harry and I both chuckled at Zayn's remark. "So what are we going to watch?" Harry asked.

Silence overcame us as we each thought about it.

"I know!" I shouted, running up the stairs.

"Hey, you said you weren't leaving!" Zayn yelled up after me.

I smiled back at him as I reached the top of the stairs. "I'll be right back!" I ran to my room, and began digging through my stuff. It took longer than expected, because I had forgotten where I put everything. Finally I found what I was looking for and took off out the door. On my way back down the hallway, I saw Niall leaving his room.

"Hey!" I shouted, running up to him. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck I did to you?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm not important," he snapped, trying to move passed me.

I stopped him. "What are you talking about?"

"Go ask Liam."

Now I was really confused. "What?!"

He shrugged sarcastically. "Liam's more important, go talk to him."

I tried to make sense of this, but nothing came to mind. "Look, just tell me what I did," I snapped.

"You didn't do anything. That's the point. I was trying to talk to you early, but you blew me off. It's not that big of deal."

"Apparently it is, or you wouldn't be so pissed right now. And when? I didn't even see you today."

This made him angrier. "No, of course you didn't. You were too busy laughing about who knows what with Liam."

I sighed in defeat as I made the connection. Now I knew what he was talking about. "Oh.."

He nodded, glaring at me. 

"I'm sorry, Niall. I wasn't trying to ignore you."

"Like I said, it's not a big deal," he murmured, trying to walk passed me again.

"No, you have to the right to be angry.... maybe not this angry... but angry. I'm sorry," I said again.

His eyes lightened, and his frown faded. "Okay...I'm sorry for taking it so seriously..." he sighed.

I smiled. "We good?" I said holding my arms open for a hug. 

"We good," he began to smile, wrapping his arms around me. 

"Come on!" I said, grabbing his hand. "Now that you're not mad at me, you have to come watch tv with us." I smiled.

"What are we watching?" he asked.

"You'll see," I grinned.

As we made our way back downstairs, Harry and Zayn looked up at me, curiosity in their eyes.

"Sooo?" they said, wanting to know what we were watching.

"Just wait," I said, walking over to put the movie in. After it was in, and everything was set to play, I returned the couch and took a seat beside Niall. I watched each of the boys anxious expressions turn into embarrassed laughter as the movie began playing.

"Ohhh noooo!" Harry groaned. "Not this."

I smiled, feeling quite satisfied with myself.

"I can't believe you're going to make us watch this..." Niall mumbled.

"Hey, you guys had the chance to speak up," I smiled.

They all sighed, and Harry groaned, as his young, teenage face appeared on the screen. Tonight we were reliving the "Up All Night Live Tour." The boys laughed through their introductions on the big screen, and I smiled, amazed at how young they all looked.

"Oh, my God.." Niall laughed. "Look at Liam's hair!"

Zayn began laughing with him as Liam's perm came into view. "It's better than when he shaved it!" Zayn commented.

"Yeah, that was interesting," Harry smirked.

As the first song began, all three of the boys blushed. I couldn't stop myself from laughing my butt off.

"We're like na, na, na." Zayn began singing along with the movie.

"Then we're like yeah, yeah, yeah." Niall answered him, smiling. 

More laughter filled the room, and continued to fill the room as they moved into the next song. Honestly, it was like they never stopped singing. They all sang perfectly together, not missing a single lyric. It was obvious, however, that they were lacking a couple voices. This was the best idea ever. As the second song came to an end, and the young Louis Tomlinson began to speak, the present day version walked down the stairs and into the room. 

"What's this?" he asked, surprised to see his younger self on the television.

"What do you think it is?" Harry smirked.

Louis took a moment, and concentrated on the movie. "This isn't..." he paused. 

"Yeah, it is, Niall grinned."

"You're kidding me.. I didn't even know we owned this?" he said, bewildered. 

"We don't. It's Raegan's." Zayn answered.

Before I could say anything, Niall cut in. "You told me you weren't a One Direction fan."

I shrugged. "My mother insisted on making me one.." I said, glancing at Harry.

"Wonder why..." Zayn mumbled, followed by the other two boys rolling their eyes. 

I had to push back a smile as Harry's cheeks turned bright red. 

"Mind if I watch?" Louis said, turning our attention back the movie. 

"Not at all," I smiled. 

"Thanks," he smiled back, and took a seat beside me.

We all enjoyed the rest of the movie, smiling, laughing, and singing. I did my best to keep out of the singing portion, simply listening carefully to their amazing voices. I half expected Liam to come down, since there was no doubt we were all being extremely loud, but to my dismay, he never did. As the movie came to an end, no one moved a muscle. 

"So, what's next?" Louis said, obviously feeling better.

"It's up to you guys. I did my part," I said, looking around at each of the boys.

"And a good choice you made," Harry smiled at me.

I smiled back, and just like always, the boys bursted into a large argument about what to watch next. I sat back, smiling, their voices music to my ears. Yeah, I was a little disappointed Liam wasn't apart of this evening, but there was no doubt I had fun. To be completely honest, I couldn't wait to see what we were watching next. It was starting to scare me how used to this place I was getting.


	15. Rylee

The night continued, with fits of laughter and smiles all around. Louis finally had decided on a movie, and not one of the boys argued with him. It really was a shame that Liam refused to come downstairs, considering Louis decided on “The Dark Knight.” I myself was quite the Batman fan, so I agreed to watch it with them. However, it was getting late, and I was getting tired. Finally the movie ended around three in the morning, and I couldn’t take it any longer. I began to get up to leave, but was pushed back with looks from all around the room.

“Where are you off to?” Niall asked, confused.

“To bed. It’s three o’clock in the morning.” I yawned, running a hand through my messy hair. Their eyes continued to burn holes in my skin. “What?” I half shouted.

“That’s no excuse.” Louis replied sassily. Everyone else remained silent.

“So what are you suggesting, my queen?” I asked Louis, returning his sass.

“Why, another movie of course!” he said, sticking his nose in the air. Grins shot up on each of the boys faces. But before I could say anything, Zayn cut in.

“Come onnn, Raegan. Just one more?”

“Puhhh-leaaasee?” Niall added.

I sighed. I was defeated. How could I say no, when in reality I was having a great time? “Fine.” I mumbled, taking my seat beside Niall. The room exploded in applause, and the discussion of the third and final movie began. I rolled my eyes and looked to see Niall smiling down at me.

“You won’t regret it,” he whispered.

“Yeah, tell me that tomorrow when I’m grumpy because of you.”

“You mean ‘today,’” he corrected me.

“Whatever, I glared and curled up next to him. He lifted his arm and rested it on top of the couch, letting me lean against him. Zayn made the final decision, but the result is unknown, for I fell asleep in the beginning credits. When I woke up next, I was laying in my soft, warm bed. I looked around, confused, knowing someone must have carried me. Who it was, I could only guess.

Thanks.(= I quickly texted Niall, before getting out of bed. I didn’t really expect him to reply, considering it was fairly early. Well, early for the boys. To my surprise, he replied almost immediately.

Niall Horan -- For what???

Carrying me upstairs. I said, while simultaneously walking over to my dresser.

Niall Horan -- What r u talking about? he asked, apparently confused.

Well, I’m in my room now, but I couldn't have walked, I fell asleep downstairs. I replied, fairly confused myself.

Oh yeah. I know. But it wasn't me. I fell asleep right after u did.

Wait. What? Then who was it?

Niall Horan -- Beats me. When I woke up u were gone.

The question began to haunt me. Who carried me upstairs? Niall apparently didn't. Liam couldn't have, he wasn't even there. Louis? Nah. Doesn’t seem likely. Zayn? Who am I kidding, if Niall and I fell asleep, there's no way Zayn lasted longer. Who was left? I thought about it a minute, and froze as the answer came to me. That's crazy. He wouldn't do that. He couldn't have. I texted Louis to clarify, because clearly I was too lazy to go talk to him in person. 

Louis, who brought me upstairs last night? 

Louis Tomlinson -- Erm... Harry, I believe. Why? 

Oh, no reason. Thanks!

I was speechless. Harry? But why? Harry is the last person I expected to do anything for me. Knowing that he did this, made me feel …weird. Yeah, okay, so he’s my ‘father,’ or so they keep telling me, but it still doesn’t feel right. If he was trying to be sweet, well nice try, but it won’t work. He lost his chance a long time ago. I began to get flustered with my thoughts, and when I saw what I looked liked in the mirror, I knew there was only one solution. I needed a run.

Quickly, I jumped up and pulled on some running shorts and a t-shirt. I tied my hair up high on top of my head, and slipped on my tennis shoes. With a quick glance in the mirror, I started my journey downstairs. Believe it or not, every trip downstairs was an adventure. As I opened my door, I looked both ways only to see a completely clear hallway. I breathed out heavily. Good. Everyone’s still in bed. If I run fast, I can be back before anyone wakes up. I took off down the stairs, running straight to the front door. Just as my hand hit the knob of the door, I was torn away by Harry’s deep voice.

“Where are you going?” he asked, in a deep, sleepy voice.

“Oh, uh, just on a run.” I smiled, guilty. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Oh. Okay,” he said, nodding.  
I turned toward the door, my hand grasping the knob but was once again turned back around at the sound of Harry’s voice.

“Uhm.. do you want someone to go with you? Ya know.. so you don’t get lost, or something..” he mumbled, trying hard to stay awake.

“Uhmm” I started, not really wanting to share my run with anyone. “..Sure..” I gave in, seeing Harry’s hopeless expression. His face was practically begging me to take someone with me. I don’t know why I kept giving in to him. I didn’t owe him anything. “I’ll just text Niall, then.” I said, getting out my phone and shooting Niall a text.

Get up. We’re going on a run.

I looked up from my phone momentarily, waiting for Niall’s reply, and saw complete frustration on Harry’s face.

“Erm.. you sure? Niall’s not much of a runner,” he began as I received an incoming text from the man himself.

Niall Horan -- What? Now? Ugh. Fine. Be right there..

“Maybe you should go with Louis,” he suggested.

“Oh, I would, but I think he went out with Eleanor for brunch, or something.” I smiled, silently laughing at Harry’s frustration. “Besides, Niall already said ‘yes.’” I shrugged holding up the text.

“Oh.. okay.” Harry nodded, awkwardly, and swiftly walked away. Just then, Niall came running down the stairs in one of his tank tops, and a pair of sweats. He smiled, still half asleep, wearing one of his old snap backs. He almost looked eighteen, again.

“It’s about time.” I joked, looking down at my imaginary watch.

“Oh, hush!” he shouted. “You’re lucky I’m here at all.”

I smiled, laughing. “Yeah, sooo lucky.”

We took off out the door, and I guess I surprised Niall with my speed for he struggled to match my pace. I had no idea where I was going, but Niall didn’t question it as I strode straight ahead. We had only ran a mile when Niall started huffing and puffing. I slowed down and stopped, to give him a quick breather. “What’s wrong old man? Too much for you?” I teased.

He just glared at me, holding his arms behind his head, taking in as much air as he could. “If I could breath, I would be saying very mean things to you right now,” he puffed.

I laughed, catching my own breath. “Where to next?”

“You mean you don’t know where we’re going?!” he shouted, sarcastically.

“Of course I do. I just wanted a second opinion.” I snapped back, playfully. He looked up at me, grinning widely. By this time, he was bent over, with this hands resting on his knees, breathing in heavily. I stood staring at him, waiting for him to continue the run. “You ready yet?” I asked, pretending to be impatient, but really not minding at all.

“Uggh” he groaned. “Can we, like, walk for a little while?” he begged.

I smiled, it made me feel good knowing that I was in better shape than Niall, even if he was older. “Sure.” I said. “Let’s go.” Again, I took off, walking straight ahead, having no idea where I was going. As we approached a less-busy corner, Niall stopped and grabbed my wrist. We stood silently for a second, as Niall took in his surroundings. Something must have clicked, for he tugged my wrist and began running in a different direction.  
“Follow me!” he shouted, and I did as instructed. Within minutes we were approaching a large, green park. Children covered the playground area, while their parents and friends roamed around the wide open space surrounding it. I was surprised at how many people were here this early in the morning.

“Wow.” I mumbled to myself soaking it all in. The sight was fascinating.

“TAG! You’re it!” Niall shouted, pulling me back to reality, as he ran away wearing a proud grin.

“Ohh, it’s on!” I shouted, chasing after him. From the look on his face I don’t think he expected me to catch up to him that fast. His proud smirk quickly vanished as I jumped on his back, almost pushing him to the ground. Luckily he caught himself, and began running faster, securing me on his back.

“You’ll regret that!” he shouted up at me, increasing his speed. I wrapped my arms firmly around his shoulders, laughing hysterically. It wasn’t long, though, before I was rolling on the ground, Niall completely out of breath.

“Actually, I think you’re the one who is regretting it.” I smiled, holding back more laughter. Soon Niall, collapsed beside me, laying in the fresh, green grass. “You know, you really should work out more. It isn’t healthy for a man of your age to be this out of shape.” I joked. Though, he didn’t find it so funny.

“Why are you always comparing our ages?” he said, slightly raising his voice. “I get it, I’m older. But I’m not that old.”

I paused, choosing my words carefully. “I’m just kidding, Niall. Don’t be so sensitive.” He looked up at the clouds, not responding. “C’mon Niall. I’m just messing around. That’s what we do. We tease each other.” I said, hitting him playfully in the arm. He continued to ignore me. “Don’t be mad.” I pouted, sticking my lip out as far as I could get it. “Niallerrr?”

He managed a small smile, but suddenly stopped and turned to me. “Fine. Just promise me you’ll tone the ‘old man’ jokes down a bit, okay?”

I held my hands up in defense. “Okay. Promise!” He then smiled, and hit my arm back.

“Good.”

We both lay back, staring up at the clouds, letting the fresh morning air surround us. The air was cool, like after a fresh rain, though the grass remained nice and dry. Niall and I remained quiet for a few minutes, soaking in the beauty of the park, before I broke the silence.

“So I have a question.”

He shifted his head slightly in my direction, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.“Alright, shoot,” he answered, willingly.

“At what point in your life could you walk around in public without being mobbed by screaming fans?”

He chuckled to himself quietly, before answering the question. “Uhm.. recently, actually. One Direction ended around our mid twenties, so now that it’s been a few years, we can roam freely,” he smiled. “People will recognize us from time to time, but they’re usually pretty calm, and cool about it.”

“Do you miss it?”

“What? One Direction? Well, I still live with my four best friends and can sing anytime I want. But yeah, I guess I miss performing sometimes. Then again, having all this free time is nice too. I don’t know. It has its pros and cons.” He then became quiet and began staring back at the sky, smiling. I assumed he was reliving memories in his head.

I accepted his silence with my own, but soon interrupted. “Can I ask you another question?” I asked, hesitantly.

“You’re just full of questions today, aren’t you?” he smiled, turning his attention back to me. “Yeah, go for it.”

“Did Harry--I mean--has Harry—uhm..” I was stumbling over my words. “Did Harry ever mention..? Ya know, anything?” I said, nonchalantly gesturing to myself.

He looked at me puzzled for a minute, but then he caught on. “Oh! You mean, about..? No, we had no idea. I swear.” 

A slight frown took over my face, and my voice lowered. I guess I didn’t really expect anything else. And for that matter, I don’t know why I cared. I swallowed. “And if you had?”

He began to shift uncomfortably. “Well, I-I don’t know. I mean, at the time, we probably would have agreed with him. I mean, we were just beginning our career, not to mention that he was only fifteen. I couldn’t really see him having a kid while being a pop star. Ya know?” I looked down, fiddling with the blades of grass in between my fingers. “But now, honestly, looking at you... I think leaving you is the worst mistake he’s ever made.”

I looked up, letting a small smile cross my face. “You’re the best.” I said, getting up and hugging him.

“Just a man, who tells the truth,” he grinned, hugging me back.

“And now you’re being cheesy,” I laughed, hitting him lightly in the chest. “So much for our ‘run’, huh?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. You ready to head back?”

“Well that depends, are we actually going to run?”

“Uhm… I have a better idea.” Just then he turned around and commanded me to get on his back.

“You’re nuts!” I protested.

“Just do it!” He shouted. “If I’m so old and out of shape, this will be a good work out!”

“Hey, if I’m not allowed to say anything about your age, you aren’t either!” I shouted back at him. “Besides, Niall, it’s like two miles back to the house!”

“I can make it! Now come on!” And with that, I hopped on his back, and he took off toward the house. I held my arms securely around his neck, mumbling how crazy he was the whole time. As we made our way to the edge of the park, Niall tripped and fell face forward into the grass. I tumbled right over the top of him, rolling forward a ways, before stopping. Once I caught my breath, and steadied myself, I jumped up and ran over to help him up.

“Are you okay?!” I yelled, running over to him. He was on his knees, with his face planted firmly on the ground. When I reached his side, I rested my hand on his back, and tried to lift his face. His nose was bleeding everywhere, but his face was more red than anything.

“I’m so sorry..” he mumbled, not even acknowledging his own nose.

“Oh, stop. I’m fine! Are you okay, though?” I said, looking around frantically for something to wipe his nose with. Just then someone came running up behind me with a package of Kleenex.

“Yeah I-“ Niall started to say, just as the stranger reached us.

“Hey, I just saw what happened! Here, take this!” she said handing me the package.

“Oh, thank you!” I said, gratefully. I unwrapped the package, and began dabbing at Niall’s face, trying to clean up the mess of blood. “Ouch. It looks like you got your lip too,” I said, wincing at the blood running from his lower lip.

“That was some fall,” the stranger said, as if she were concerned.

“More like trip,” Niall said, rolling his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked me. I hadn’t even had the chance to feel anything, since I was more concerned about Niall than myself. He picked up his hand, and ran his thumb under my left eye, followed by a bit of pain. Ouch.

“Yes, Niall. I’m fine.” I assured him, ignoring the pain. “Thank you.” I said looking up at the young woman who had given us her tissues. She was fairly tall, and athletically built. Dark brown hair fell to the middle of her back, complementing her deep brown eyes. She looked fairly young to me. Early twenties maybe?

“You already said that,” she smiled. “But you’re welcome.” Her smile was warm, and friendly. “I’m glad you two are alright,” she said, looking from me to Niall. She looked as if she was about to walk away, but stopped momentarily. “I’m sorry, but have we met before?” she asked looking at Niall. Niall was a mess, his face was still bleeding, and I think he was going to have a bruised cheek. It was already starting to swell.

“Uhh, I don’t think so,” he shrugged. “But it’s possible. What’s your name?”

“Rylee. Rylee Nicholls. What’s yours?”

“Hmm, doesn’t sound familiar. Sorry. I’m Niall. Niall Hor-“

“Horan?” she interrupted, in disbelief.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Heard of me?”

“Are you kidding me? One Direction was my life.” A huge smile swept over Niall’s face, and all I could do was roll my eyes. Rylee must have seen me, for she turned her attention toward me. “Is this your girlfriend?” she asked Niall, politely. In an instant Niall was beat red. I let out an inhumane snort, trying so hard not to burst into laughter.

“Uhh, no,” he shook his head.

Her eyes grew wider. “Your daughter?” At that point, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I busted into a huge fit of laughter as Niall grew redder.

“No! She’s my—uh, friend,” he stuttered, glaring at me out of the corner of his eyes.

“Oh..” she said, growing red. “I’m so sorry.. I’ll just be going then..”

“No, wait!” I spoke up. She turned to face me. “If you’re such a big ‘1D’ fan, why don’t you come back to the house and meet the rest of the boys? I mean, it's the least we can do, you saved us.” I said, finally getting my laughter under control.

“What? Really? I don't want to cause you any trouble. Besides, all I did was give you some Kleenexes."

"It would be our pleasure," I smiled confidently.

"Okay, sure!” she said, happily. Niall looked at me in confusion. I shrugged. It’s not every day the boys get recognized. Well, not anymore.

As we got up to walk home, I wrapped my arm around Niall’s waist, steadying him for our long walk home. “I told you not to try it.” I grinned, as he held the tissues to his still-bleeding nose. He shot me another mean glare, but as I opened my mouth to respond, Rylee spoke.

“So, do you guys live together?” she asked, hesitantly, hoping not to offend either of us.

“Well, kind of,” I said, beating Niall to it. “I’m sort of related to Harry.” Niall had to hide a smirk, as I avoided telling her that Harry was my father.

“Oh! That’s cool. Is he like your older brother?” Rylee asked. This time, Niall was the one to let out an inhumane snort. I hit him on the arm, telling him if he did that again his nose would just keep bleeding.

“Not, exactly,” I said, not giving any further explanation.

Rylee nodded, not pushing me any farther. 

The walk home was nice and short. Rylee and I took turns picking on Niall, which she was surprisingly good at for had just meeting him. I don't think Niall appreciated our comments, though he didn't stop us. 

As we reached the house, I did my best to help Niall up the steps. Have I mentioned that we basically live in a castle? Rylee definitely noticed, for when I walked up to the door, she just stood on the sidewalk with her mouth gaping open. “Thi-i-is is your place?” she gawked.

“Well-“ I started, but Niall cut me off.

“No, it’s mine,” he smiled, scornfully. I rolled my eyes and left it at that. As we walked through the door, I noticed Liam, Louis, Zayn, and Harry were all in the living room watching TV. Rylee lingered on the porch, unsure of what to do. I held up my pointer finger, gesturing for her to give me a minute, while I helped Niall inside. Once in the door, everyone broke into chatter.

“Whoa! Nialler what happened?” Liam said, concerned.

“Jeesh, Rae! What’d you do?!” Louis teased.

“Go, Raegan!!” Zayn cheered, grinning at Niall.

Harry jumped up, worried, but stepped back, laughing as the comments flooded the room.

“Thanks guys, but this wasn’t me. Niall did this one to himself,” I said looking up at him.

“I’m not surprised,” Louis chuckled, smiling at Niall.

“Gee, thanks mate,” Niall said sarcastically, glaring at him.

“Maybe you should just go get cleaned up?” I suggested, patting Niall on the back. “But come right back.” I said, hinting with my eyes that Rylee was still here.

“Alright,” he sighed, and headed up the stairs. The boys caught on and were all staring at me with suspicious expressions. I smiled, and made my way back over to the door, telling Rylee to come in.

“Boys, I’d like you to meet Rylee.” I said, as she made her way through the door. Her face was red, and she looked a bit overwhelmed. You could just tell that this made her entire life.

“Hi,” the boys said in unison. You could tell it was accidental, because they all looked at each other and smiled as soon as they said it.

“Hi..” she said, her voice cracking. She then turned a deeper shade of red, and looked up in embarrassment. The boys laughed.

“Don’t worry, love. We don’t bite,” Louis said.

“Except maybe Harry,” Zayn added.

I looked to Harry who had been eyeing Rylee up and down since she walked in. His face turned its own shade of red at Zayn’s comment. Was Harry really checking her out? Disgusting.

“Well,” I said, trying to get the image of Harry and her out of my head, “Make yourself at home, and have fun with the boys. I’m going to go shower,” I said as I made my way up the stairs. Rylee looked at me hopelessly, but I just smiled. I liked Rylee. She was cool. But that doesn’t change the fact that the thought of her all alone with the boys was absolutely hilarious. I chuckled to myself, as I entered my room. Out of routine, I walked over to my mirror and took a good look at myself. I had quite the scratch under my eye, and it looked as if my cheek was slightly bruised, as well. I sighed, walking toward the bathroom. I needed a nice, long shower.


	16. Hurt Feelings

Once I was nice and clean, I headed back downstairs to see how the boys and Rylee were getting along. What I saw was no surprise. The boys hadn’t moved an inch, and Rylee had barely moved enough to sit on the couch. The boys were turned to her, listening very carefully to every word she said. Louis was just being polite, but I can’t say the same for the rest of them. Harry and Zayn were so wrapped up in her appearance that I doubt they heard a single word she said. Liam too, looked as if he liked what he saw. It was pathetic. Niall sat beside her, uninterested. As I stepped off the final step of the staircase, I walked over and sat next to him.

“Sooo how’s it going?” I smiled, winking at Rylee.

“Great,” Louis spoke up. “Rylee was just telling us about university.”

“Oh? Where do you attend?” I asked.

“University of London,” Zayn answered, still dazed in her appearance.

“Wow, that’s really cool, RYLEE.” I snapped, looking at Zayn. Rylee giggled.

“Thanks. This upcoming year is my final one.”

I nodded. “So you’re what? Twenty-two?” I asked, glancing at Harry, hoping he would get the hint.

“Actually, I’m twenty-four. I decided to go a couple more years, to take some extra classes,” she smiled. “How old are you?”

“Oh,” I said a tad disappointed that she was closer to Harry’s age than I expected. “I’ll be seventeen next week.” Suddenly everyone’s expressions changed, and each of the boys gave Harry a look. It was pretty funny actually. None of them knew when my birthday was--including Harry.

I sat back expressionless, enjoying the looks on their faces. In an instant, Niall was tugging at my shirt trying to get my attention.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered in my ear. I shrugged.

“It’s not important. Hey, your face stopped bleeding,” I said, changing the subject.

“Raegan..” he glared at me.

“Niall, it’s not a big deal. How does your face feel?”

He sighed. “It’s fine, Raegan; and it is a big deal.”

I shook my head, refusing to discuss it any longer. When I turned my attention back to the conversation, I noticed Liam staring at me. I smiled at him, but he just turned his face away. I sighed, knowing it would just cause more unwanted thoughts if I worried about it. A couple hours passed, as Rylee went on and on about herself. I enjoyed hearing what she had to say, but couldn’t have been more annoyed with how hypnotized the boys were. All accept, Niall. Niall, sat, twiddling his thumbs, probably wishing he could leave.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” I whispered, getting tired of the conversation, myself.

“What? Oh. Nothing.”

“Liar.”

He looked at me amused. He knew I was aware of his lies. “Ok. You got me. I’m thinking about the football game that’s supposed to be on tonight,” he lied, again.

“Oh, okay,” I accepted, not wanting to argue. A look of relief spilled over him, making it obvious that he really was lying. “So what do you think of Rylee?” I whispered, even quieter so she wouldn’t hear me.

He shrugged. “She’s alright.”

“Alright?” I repeated, surprised. “You don’t think she’s absolutely gorgeous?” I said sarcastically.

He chuckled quietly under his breath. “Nah.”

“Your friends would disagree,” I said, glancing in their direction.

He followed my gaze and rolled his eyes at their expressions. “Yeah? Well, we have different tastes,” he said, proudly.

“Oh really? What’s your ‘taste’?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Well, I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” I said, a bit offended.

“You’re a girl. You might blow my cover,” he smiled. I rolled my eyes, hitting him playfully in the arm. It was getting to be dinner time, and I could tell Harry wasn’t going anywhere as long as Rylee was here.

“Are you getting hungry?” I asked Niall, hoping I wasn’t the only one.

“Are you kidding me? When am I not?”

I smiled. That was a dumb question. “So what should we do? I don’t think Harry’s going anywhere,” I started, rolling my eyes in Harry's direction, “and we all know that no one else here cooks.”

“Hmmm. You’re right,” he nodded. Why don’t you cook?”

I laughed as if it was a joke. He looked at me questioningly. “I can hardly make a sandwich.”

He smiled, pretending to hide it. “Oh… awkwaaard,” he whispered, making a face. I hit him in the arm, followed by his hushed laughter. “Okay… Then we’ll go out.”

“Who will?”

“You and me.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Do you really think Harry will let us go out alone after what happened this afternoon?” I asked, sarcastically.

He shrugged. “He would if we ask him now.” I followed his gaze back to Harry, seeing he was still completely absorbed in Rylee. I smiled. Niall was a genius. “Hey, Harry?”

“Hmmmm?” he mumbled, not tearing his eyes from Rylee.

“Rae and I are gonna go grab something to eat, you want anything?”

“What? Oh, no thanks. Have fun,” he mumbled back, eager to hear what Rylee had to say next.

“And there we go,” Niall smiled at me.

“Alright. I admit, that was pretty smooth. Where are we going to eat?”

He shrugged. “Who cares. Just get me out of here.” I got up and followed Niall over to the door. As he opened it to let me out, Louis spoke up.

“Hey! Can I come?” I looked at Niall for a response. He shrugged.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I smiled, realizing he wanted to get away from the ‘zombies’ just as much as we did. “You want to come too, Liam?” I asked. Liam ignored me. “Liam?” I repeated.

“Liam!” Louis said, hitting Liam hard on the shoulder.

“What?!” he asked, as if he didn’t hear me.

“Do you want to come eat with us?” Louis repeated.

He answered without hesitation. “No. I’m not hungry.”

“You sure?” I spoke up. He again, ignored me. Now I knew he was doing it on purpose. “Whatever,” I mumbled to myself, and walked out the door. Niall and Louis followed me out as we all piled into the Audi. Louis took the driver’s seat, Niall the passenger’s, while I climbed into the back. I listened, as Louis and Niall discussed where we should eat and shared their thoughts on Rylee. Just as I began to zone out of the conversation, I learned Louis wasn’t too impressed with her either. Still, Louis’s opinion doesn’t really count, since he’s dating Eleanor. My mind wandered and ended up focusing on the last thing I wanted to think about: Liam. It had been nice hanging out with Niall all day, because I hadn’t really had the chance to think. Now that he was distracted, though, my thoughts consumed me, and I was forced to face them. Frustration ran through my veins as the thoughts came pouring in. Why was he ignoring me? What did I do to him? Just yesterday he was trying to kiss me! I began thinking of the possibilities and came to the conclusion that he may have been ignoring me, so he could focus on Rylee. Even though I might have answered my own question, my thoughts weren’t satisfied. Anger still pulsed through me. What is this? Jealousy? God, no. I’m not jealous. Liam can do what he wants. But even so, I was lying to myself. I didn’t like that Liam was ignoring me. I also didn’t like how he was looking at Rylee. I took a deep breath, mentally hitting myself for caring so much. I didn’t ask for this.

“You okay back there?” Niall asked, turning around in his seat. “You’re really quiet.”

“Yeah,” I lied, faking a smile. “I’m fine.”

“Good. Sooo, how’s ‘Garfunkel’s’ sound?”

“Fine with me,” I agreed, having no idea what ‘Garfunkel’s’ was.

“Great! To Garfunkel’s it is!” Niall turned and shouted at Louis.

***

As we entered the restaurant, we were greeted by a waitress dressed in all black. She lead us to a booth, big enough to comfortably seat four. I sat down first, Louis sitting across from me. Assuming, Niall would sit beside him, I was surprised when he took the seat next to me.

“What can I get you all to drink?” the waitress asked, politely.

“Water for me,” I spoke.

“Uhm, yeah. Same for me.” Niall agreed. The waitress nodded, smiling, and began to focus on Louis.

“And you, sir?” she said, her eyes sparkling a bit as she talked.

“Erm.” Louis thought. “Suppose I’ll just have water, too,” he said.

“Alright, three waters coming up,” she smiled, not tearing her gaze from Louis. When she finally wandered off, I burst into laughter. Niall and Louis were confused.

“What?” Niall asked. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Louis encouraged.

“She was totally checking you out!” I half-shouted at Louis, holding in another laugh. Louis’s cheeks went red.

“What? No she wasn’t.” He denied.

I looked to Niall for help, and when I met his gaze he was wearing an evil grin. “Now that you mention it, she did seem a bit more interested in you,” he teased.

“Oh, shut up. She was just being friendly,” Louis said, trying to defend himself.

“Mhhhm.” Niall and I said in unison, grinning back at him.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest. Niall and I snickered silently at his response.

“Don’t worry Lou, we won’t tell El.” I smiled, jokingly. Just then, all the humor left the atmosphere. Louis’s facial features dropped to a hurtful frown, and the room seemed to get quieter. I looked to Niall, who had halted his laughter and was now wearing a similar frown. Louis’s arms relaxed, moving back to his lap, followed by his head, hanging low, looking at them. I raised my eyebrows questioningly at Niall, for some explanation. He responded by shaking his head, insinuating for me not to go there. Apparently ‘Eleanor’ was a sore subject. A long moment of silence passed before anything else was said. “So, what looks good?” I asked, picking up my menu, hoping to ease the mood. The look on Louis’s face lightened slightly, though I was still curious to know what was going on. My mind traveled back to the other night at dinner, when Harry and Louis spoke of Eleanor. I remembered wondering then, too, why he was so sad, when just shortly before he was so happy to hear her name.

“Uh, the grilled salmon looks good..” Niall said trying to help me out. “What sounds good to you, Lou?”

Louis kept his head down, playing with his fingers. “I’ll probably just get the soup..” he mumbled. I began feeling really bad about bringing it up, but honestly I had no idea there was even a problem. Soon enough our waitress was making her way back over to us.

“Right. Ok. What about you Raegan?” Niall said, trying to keep conversation going.

“Oh..uhm.. the ‘Spaghetti Bolognese’ sounds pretty good.”

“Hmm.. you’re right. That does sound good. Three ‘Spaghetti Bolognese’ please.” Niall said as the waitress reached our table. And with a turn of her heel she was back off in the other direction. I looked at Niall confused, and apparently I wasn’t the only one. Louis was almost glaring at him from across the table.

“What the hell, mate?” Louis said, apparently dissatisfied with the idea of spaghetti. “That’s not what I said.”

Niall shrugged. “I know. The soup here is terrible though.”

“Don’t you think I could have made that decision myself?” Louis snapped.

“I’m just lookin’ out for you, mate.” Niall smiled, getting a kick out of Louis's aggravation. And with that, Louis’s sad expression turned into an annoyed one, followed by his arms re-crossing in front of his chest. I looked up at Niall who was smiling bigger than ever. When he looked down at me, he read my confusion.

“I’ve never had the soup here.” Niall whispered, chuckling.

“What? Then why did you do that?” I asked, looking over at Louis. Louis was looking in the opposite direction, doing his best to ignore us.

“A mad Louis is better than a sad Louis.” Niall said, bringing my attention back to him. “If Louis is sad, he will stay that way for a significant amount of time. If he’s mad, however, he’ll be over it in approximately five minutes.” My eyes grew wide as I soaked in what Niall just said. He really was a genius. Niall must have read my mind, because his smile grew bigger and more self-satisfied. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m a genius.” I rolled my eyes and when I looked forward, sure enough Louis’s mood had lightened. Before too long, Niall and Louis were chatting about cars and music, with me patiently listening.

After dinner, Louis and Niall had agreed on driving around for a bit, just in case Rylee was still at the house. I didn’t argue, for I wasn’t thrilled at the thought of her being there either. I looked out the window, observing the many lights of London, as I listened to Louis and Niall continue their conversation from dinner. About thirty minutes passed, before I found myself starting to fall asleep. I barely managed a wink, however, as the car pulled into the long, cement driveway. Or so I thought. When I opened my eyes, and began to stretch, I met both Louis and Niall’s gaze. Both were smirking in my direction, holding in girly giggles.

“What?” I asked, unsure of what was so funny.

“Good nap?” Louis asked, his smile not fading.

“What do you mean? I didn’t sleep at all.” I said, still lost. At this time, both boys had let out deep chuckles.

“Riiiight.” Niall said between laughs. “You’ve been ‘talking to yourself’ for the last 15 minutes.” My confusion grew into embarrassment as I realized what they were talking about. I had a tendency to talk in my sleep.

“We would have been home sooner, but you just had so much to say.” Louis added.

I’m guessing my face turned a deep shade of red, for both boys continued to laugh. I couldn’t manage to find words to explain myself, so I kept silent.

“Don’t worry though,” Niall began, “We won’t tell anyone what you said.” As I tried hard to remember what I was thinking about, Louis’s grin turned sinister, and Niall winked in my direction. Whatever I said, was obviously something they didn’t need to know. I thought harder, doing my best to remember what was on my mind. My mind wandered before finally settling on a subject. Liam. Oh my God. If I said anything about what I think of Liam, I am done for. Surely, if Louis knew I had any sort of feelings for one of his friends, he would tell Harry. And if Harry already hated me for spending time with Niall, he’s going to flip shit when he finds out about Liam. My embarrassment was now pure terror, and I began to panic.

“W-w-what did I say?” I asked, almost too scared to know.

Suddenly, the corners of Niall’s mouth twisted up into the same sinister grin Louis was wearing. “Oh, didn’t you hear me? I said I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Both boys laughed, and jumped out of the car, making their way toward the front door. I followed, though my shaky hand could barely open the car door. Niall stood at the door, smiling, waiting for me to walk inside. I glared at him as I walked in, cursing his name. He laughed, following me inside.

When I got inside, the living room was clear. Well, I thought it was clear, until I made my way further inside, finding Liam reading in his chair.

“Hey,” I said, looking over to Liam. Though, as I expected, I received no response. Louis had already made his way upstairs, and Niall looked as if he were going the same way.

“What happened to Rylee?” Niall asked, as he made his way up the first few steps. Liam didn’t hesitate to respond. Bastard.

“Uhm.. Harry took her somewhere. I think,” Liam mumbled, not looking away from his book.

“And Zayn?” Niall questioned.

“Oh yeah.. he went too.”

“Idiots.” Niall spat, running the rest of the way up the stairs. Liam chuckled, but was soon silenced as he realized I was still in the room. I refused to ignore the way Liam was treating me, so I took a seat on the couch.

“So, what did you guys do tonight?” I spoke, clear enough for anyone in the surrounding area to hear me. Surprisingly I got an answer.

“Nothing.”

“Oh,” I said, quickly thinking of something else to ask him. I was not going to walk away until he talked to me. “Well…What do you think of Rylee?” His attention seemed to heighten at the sound of her name. Damn.

“Eh,” he mumbled, giving no further answer.

“Eh?" I repeated, a bit releived. "What’s that mean?” I asked, carrying a touch of annoyance in my voice.

He shrugged. “Eh?”

My frustration was rising, and this time I couldn’t seem to stop it. “Dammit, Liam. What’s your problem?”

To my surprise, he looked up from his book. “What are you talking about? I’m just trying to read my book,” he said, defending himself.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve been treating me like shit for the last two days.” My voice was rising, and he could tell I was getting upset. He moved to the edge of his seat, resting most his weight on his knees.

“What? I’ve hardly said a word to you!” he snapped back.

“Exactly! That’s the whole point! One day, we’re hanging out like two good friends, and the next, you act like you’ve never met me before!”

He said nothing, but continued to glare at me.

“What am I suppose to think?!” I shouted.

He rose to his feet, towering over me. I took a step back, a bit surprised at his sudden action. “I—“ he began to shout, but was lost for words. In a split second he was passed me, and on his way up the stairs.

Instantly all my frustration, turned to hurt, and I gave up on the matter. He obviously wasn’t going to explain himself. “Fine, Liam. Walk away! I don’t give a damn if I ever speak to you again!” I was sure the other boys could hear me, but not one of them made an effort to interrupt. Liam stopped half way up the stairs, hanging his head, and gripping the railing. I hung my head, free of tears, but still just as upset. I was breathing heavily now, and was trying hard to slow it down. In a flash, Liam was back down the stairs and standing right in front of me. Within seconds of me looking up, he wrapped his long hands around my face, and pressed his soft lips to mine. Before I could even process what he was doing, he had pulled away, and quickly made his way back up the stairs. I stood silently, in the spot he left me, my mouth slightly parted in disbelief.

***

For most of the night, I lay on the couch, too afraid to go upstairs. It was approximately eleven o’clock, and the room was completely dark, aside from the streetlights shining through the large window that sat to the right of the front door. My knees pressed to my chest, as my fingers lingered on my lips. I was surprisingly calm for how much my mind was racing. I sat quietly, letting each thought take its toll, until finally I was almost asleep. Just as I let the last part of me slip into unconsciousness, the front door swung open, revealing Harry and Zayn. I guessed both were drunk, since they could barely form a sentence and each sound they made was accompanied by laughter. I stayed quiet, as they wobbled up the stairs, contemplating whether or not I should go to my room. Finally, I decided that enough time had passed for Liam to fall asleep, and began my journey upstairs.

Immediately, after I entered my room, I fell onto my soft mattress. By this point, I had woken myself up, so I just lay there, staring up at the dark ceiling. I made no effort to change my clothes, assuming I would never find sleep anyways, so why bother? Hours passed, and though I had attempted sleep several times, it never came. I gave up trying, and reached out to my bedside table to retrieve my laptop. As I opened, the lid, I glanced at the alarm clock that read “3:14.” I sighed, logging on to my computer, and looked for something to do/read. I ended up on tumblr, scrolling through endless photos. I had wasted an entire hour on tumblr, when I heard a slight knock at the door. Though I was fully awake, and the sound was very hushed, I jumped in surprise. I waited, hoping whoever it was would realize I should be asleep, and go away. When a minute passed, and nothing else was heard, I settled back down into my computer. Seconds later, however, I heard the knock again. This time, it was followed by a croaky voice.

“Rae.. I know you’re awake. Please let me in.” The voice was Liam’s. My heart rate picked up, and I hesitated in answering the door. Slowly, I tiptoed over, and revealed a very tired Liam. “I’m sorry,” he spoke, taking a step toward me. I stepped back, letting him in my room. He softly shut the door behind him, and took another step forward, holding his arms out. I hesitated once more, before letting myself fall into his arms. I said nothing, as he held me close, apologizing over and over. 

We made our way over to my bed, where we sat crisscrossed, facing each other. I looked down, playing with my fingers as I listened to Liam explain himself.

“Rae, I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

“Then why did you?” I whispered, hardly making a sound.

He sighed, looking down at his hands, and then back up at me. “Is it fair to say, that I don’t know? My intention was never to hurt you.. or be mean to you. Honestly, I guess I thought I was scaring you away.”

“Scaring me away? What do you mean?” I asked, finally meeting his eye contact. His eyes were soft; shining their usual caramel color.

He looked as though he was getting nervous; bringing his hand back to scratch the back of his head. “Well, it’s no secret that I almost kissed you.” I nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I wasn’t sure, that was a good move, so I tried spacing myself from you. I didn’t think I could do it, so I guess, I went a little far, and just ignored you all together..” I looked at him, nodding, keeping quiet.

“So what are you saying?” I finally spoke.

He paused, staring at me for a moment. “I like you, Rae…”


	17. Small Talk

My lips part slightly at the sound of his latest words. I pause before responding, not sure of what to say. If I tell him that I like him too, what will happen? It’s not like Harry’s going to fully support his not-yet-seventeen year old daughter dating his thirty-three year old best friend. I mean, honestly, when you say it that way, I don’t even support it. So what? We do nothing? We keep to ourselves, even though we obviously have feelings toward one another? That sounds like torture in itself! Either way, nothing can happen between us, so maybe I should just keep my feelings to myself. But even if I did, even if I went on with my life without ever talking to him again, I would mentally torture myself for the rest of my existence, for not telling him the truth. What the hell have I gotten myself into? 

I look up to find Liam staring intently at me, waiting for a response. When I don't give him one, his features sadden, and his forehead creases forming a ‘worry’ line. He begins to reach for my hand, but stops midway, unsure if it is the 'right' move. However, before it can drop to his lap, I take it in my own. “I like you too, Liam.” I finally state, almost too quietly to hear. But sure enough, he hears me and a wide smile spreads across his face. Unfortunately, the same questions creep into his head shortly after, and his smile begins to fade. Neither one of us know what the next move is.

Things are quiet for a while after that, but not an awkward quiet, more of a peaceful quiet. Time is slowly approaching four in the morning, and neither of us have spoken since I told him his feelings toward me are mutual. His large right hand lay in between my two frail ones; his other on top of mine. His warm eyes sooth me to the point I think maybe I can finally get some sleep. But I don’t even try. I don't want Liam to leave. I guess he has the same thoughts, for he doesn't move a muscle, though his eyes hang in exhaustion.

“So, now what do we do?” I finally say, breaking our silent connection; though, I know the answer to the question already.

“I wish I knew,” he whispers in his low, raspy voice. I nod, knowing there is no better response. The exhaustion in Liam’s eyes is becoming too much for me to handle. He needs sleep, and to be fair, I'm not doing myself any favors by staying up.

“Maybe you should go get some rest,” I say, softly running my fingers over his knuckles. “We can worry about all of this later.” He nods, though he makes no effort to move. He is content, and so am I. Even so, in a short moment he is up on his feet, heading toward the door. I follow him out, always staying one step behind. Before walking out, he lingers in the door way, leaning up against the door frame. He stares down at me as if he expects something, but makes no move toward me. I lock onto his gaze, getting lost in his eyes, suppressing my ever growing desire to kiss him. I assume he can read my mind, for right before he leaves, a huge grin spreads across his tired face. I too, linger in the doorway watching him wander back to his own room down the hall. When he safely shuts his bedroom door, I wander back over to my large bed, falling gently on the mattress. Without a second thought, I am out cold; ready to face whatever scenario my dreams have waiting for me.

I rise early the next morning, and feel surprisingly refreshed considering how late I was up. Almost routinely, I head for the bathroom to immerse myself in the heaven-like shower. When I finish, I make my way over to the dresser and pull out some jean shorts and a tank top, not giving any thought to what the whether may be like. Not that it matters. I rarely go outside anyway. I check my phone for any missed calls or texts, but as usual there aren't any. The date reads: "June 7." Just one more week until my birthday. Out of habit, I start toward my door, planning on going downstairs and finding something to eat. However, just as I reach for the door knob, I stop to rethink. What if Liam's down there? I mean, sure, we're supposed to act like our everyday selves. That's fine; I get it. But what if it's just him? Then what? Should I still pretend things are the same between us? I step back from my door, reconsidering the thought of food. I can wait for lunch... or dinner. I sigh. No. I'm not going to hide from him. I won't ignore him like he ignored me. I just need to act normal. With a deep breath, I turn the knob and make my way downstairs. As my foot leaves the last step, and hits the floor, I look around and take in my surroundings. Coast is clear. The house is silent and there doesn't seem to be anyone awake. Heck, what am I worried about? It's only 9:00. No one in this house ever wakes up before 11:00. Satisfied with thought of them all asleep, I proudly march into the kitchen. However, all my confidence is drained when I see a way too familiar face sitting at the island. 

"Oh, erm.. good morn-ing," Liam stutters, just as surprised to see me as I am him. He sits facing the entrance of the kitchen, sipping on a cup of coffee and playing with an orange. 

"M-morning," I repeat. "What are you doing up so early?" I blurt out, dumbfounded by his presence. But before Liam can answer, Louis struts into the room wearing a pair of mesh shorts and a t-shirt, accompanied by knee-high socks and some cleats. 

"Ready, mate?' Louis asks, looking at Liam.

"I suppose so," Liam sighs, setting his empty coffee mug in the sink. As he stands up, I realized he is wearing a very similar outfit. "Going out for a bit of football," Liam says, answering my unspoken question. 

"Football? Dressed like that?" I laugh, gesturing to both Louis and Liam's attire. 

"Yes?" Liam says, raising an eyebrow.

"Something wrong with the way we're dressed?" Louis chimes in, defensively. 

"Well, no... But don't you need pads or longer pants to play football? And what's with the socks?" I ask. It was their turn to laugh at me 

"Not that silly American game they call football. This kind of football," Louis says, retrieving what I call a soccer ball from his duffel bag. Boy, do I feel foolish. 

"Oh....right. Whoops," I say, embarrassed. I had completely forgotten that Americans and Europeans have different definitions of football. 

"Shall we then?" Louis says, glancing at Liam, and heading for the door.

"Yes, sorry. See you later, Rae?" Liam says, as he follows.

"Yeah, see you later." I mumble, knowing that he was already too far out the door to hear me anyway.

When I finally hear the front door squeal shut, I walk over to the pantry and retrieve the cereal. After I pour myself a rather large bowl of 'Lucky Charms,' I walk back to the living room and take a seat in my usual place in the middle of the couch. Before I take my first bite, I flick on the television and look for something interesting to watch. I haven't even made it through four channels before I hear a deep Irish accent echo behind me.

"What do you think you're doing?" Niall bellows. 

I nearly jump through the roof, sending the remote flying behind me. Niall brakes out in a fit of laughter, leaving me scared shitless. "What the hell, Horan?!" I exclaim, trying to process what just happened. 

He continues to laugh for several more seconds before catching his breath. "Now, now. Calm down, you almost broke the remote," he smiles at me.

I sigh, recomposing myself. "Why are all of you up so early today? No ones ever awake before eleven," I state rather harshly.

He shrugs, loosing most of his smile. "Who's 'all of us'? I'm only up because I am restless. You can only lay around for so long before it drives you crazy. Whats got your knickers in a twist this morning?"

"First of all never use the expression, 'knickers in a twist' again." I say glaring at him. He smiles. "Seconldy, I didn't expect any of you to be awake, and yet I've seen you, Liam, and Louis all before 9:30." 

"And?," he questions. "I don't see the problem?"

I sigh. "There isn't one." 

"Well, somethings got you frustrated," he continues.

"You just scared the shit out of me!" I fight back. 

"You were eating my Lucky Charms!" he teases. 

I roll my eyes. "Whatever, Horan." 

"Ohhh Rae, don't be like that," he says, moving closer. 

"Get away from me, Niall." I say, slowly getting up.

"But Raeeee," he says, moving toward me with is arms extended.

"I'm warning you." I mumble, slowly backing away. He continues to slowly move toward me, pushing out his bottom lip in a pout. He circles me completely around the couch before lunging at me, sending me screaming up the stairs. He laughs, chasing me, staying only a few inches behind. When I reach the top of the stairs, I involuntarily run right passed my room and continue down the long hallway. Shit. I don't know which rooms are empty and which ones belong to the boys. I bite my lip, racking my brain for some escape. I remember vaguely which room is Liam's, but otherwise I don't have a clue. Wait. Liam's. Perfect. I run straight forward as fast as I can, listening to Niall's breathing behind me. I shoot passed four wooden doors before making a sharp left and running straight into Liam's room. I slam the door hard, locking it, preventing Niall from entering. I wait silently, listening for some snappy remark from Niall, but hear nothing. I begin leaning back against the door, attempting to steady my breath. I look up to take in my surroundings. I'm in awe. The room is stunning. The walls are painted a deep shade of green, accented by several large, old-looking paintings. Mathematically, the room is just a hair bigger than mine, though it looks enormous compared to my own. A large, deep brown bookcase covers one of the walls, displaying books, photographs, and even a few awards. On the other side of the room sits a large desk that matches the dark wood of the bookcase. On it sits a large Mac computer and a few pictures. Overall it is very clean.

Being closest to the desk, I eye the pictures trying to get a better look. In one of the photographs two dark haired women are side by side, posing for the camera. They resembled one another closely, though one looks quite a bit older than the other. Right next to it is a picture of all five boys at a younger age, I assume at one of their concerts. I smile, taking in their faces. I hesitate on Liam's, drinking in his young, boyish charm, comparing it to the man I know today. As I look on to the next picture, I start feeling a little queasy. At first glance, I see a baby girl staring at the camera with deep green eyes. Though, as I spend more time on it, I become very aware of my familiarity with the face I am looking at. It's mine. I stare silently at the photograph for what seems like a life time, trying to grasp why Liam would have a baby picture of me in his room. Completely dumfounded, I hesitantly tear my eyes away and look at the fourth, and final photograph. And then I loose it. Sitting neatly in a crisp black frame is a photograph of my mother. Emotions shoot through me as I stand there, wide eyed staring at the photo. Tears begin building in my eyes, and I realize I'm not in Liam's room. My eyes shift slowly to the large bed standing in the middle of the room. Upon it, laying underneath the large white duvet is none other than Harry Styles. "Oh, shit." I whisper quietly to myself. Suddenly, I wish Niall had caught me before I ran in here. I reach back grasping the doorknob, twisting it ever so slightly, but before I can make my escape I catch Harry moving out from the corner of my eye. I stop dead in my tracks watching as he tosses and turns in his sleep. I let out a sigh of relief when he finally settles down facing the wall. Far too soon, however, I am tense again as he rolls to his side; his sleeping silhouette staring me straight in the face. I take a deep breath, contemplating my next move. The slightest click could wake him up. I finally decide to risk it and click the lock on the door. Quickly, I turn around checking to see if he had heard it. I scan over him, but don't see any sign of movement. I sigh in relief opening the door and stepping out of the unknown territory. To my dismay, the hallway is empty. Did Niall really give up that fast? I turn back around to pull the door shut, but almost instantly, I freeze in place. All color leaves my face as I come face to face with the thing I fear most. Staring directly at me through the newly opened door are two sparkling green eyes. Harry is awake.

I smile shyly, and quickly shut the door, hopeful that he hasn't been awake long. I run downstairs, white as a sheet, trying my best not to fall down the steps. Within seconds, I find Niall sitting comfortably on the couch. As I approach him he looks up and notices my rather pale appearance. Though, surprisingly, he shows no sign of worry or concern. In fact, if anything, his face hints at self satisfaction. 

"Have fun?" he asks; the corners of his mouth turning up in a devilish grin. That little shit... He knew. 

"You didn't...." I whisper through gritted teeth, challenging him in his little game.

"Ohh, but I did," he smirks confidently, confirming my suspicions. And in that moment, I could have slapped the Irish right out of him.

"Why?" I demand, and he knows I'm mad. Niall knew exactly whose room I had entered, and because of who it was, he decided to leave me in there to find out for myself. 

"Because I thought it would be funny. And by the looks of your face, it was." It only takes a few moments of silence for Niall's smile to completely disappear. "Okay. I'm sorry," he says, finally giving in. "It was just a joke." 

"A joke? Niall you know how I feel about Harry! Why would you let me go in there knowing that he was in there?!" I shout.

He sighs. "Rae, I'm sorry. Was it really that bad?" I stare angrily at him in disbelief.

"Yes, Niall. It was that bad. He woke up while I was leaving and who knows what he's thinking now. This "father-daughter relationship" was awkward enough without him thinking I'm some kind of snoop!" I continue to rant. 

"Raegan, it's Harry. Sleepy Harry to be exact. He probably didn't even realize you were there," he tries to assure me.

"He looked me directly in the eyes," I snap, maintaining my glare. 

He begins to quiet down. "I can talk to him. Ya know, clear things up?" he suggests politely.

"You've done enough, thank you." I state, leaving the room abruptly. I take a glance at him over the balcony as I reach the top of the staircase. He sits quietly looking down at his hands. I sigh. I already feel bad for yelling at him. 

I make it back to my room, heading straight for my bed. Laying down, I take out my phone checking for any new messages; surprisingly, I have two. Excitedly, I open them up. 

Noah Anderson -- Morning, Raegan. How's life in London? 

I smile. It has been ages since I heard anything from Noah. I really do miss him.

Good morning Mr. Anderson! London is lovely. Life is.. complicated. How's life in Colorado? 

I hit send, excitedly waiting for his reply. Meanwhile, I decide to open my other message. As I do so, a look of utter shock spreads across my face. It's from Liam.

Liam Payne -- Hello! Sorry about rushing out on you this morning. )= I didn't expect to see you so early. Hope you're having a good morning! xx

I stare at the message, dumfounded. Not only is he wishing me a good day, but he also apologized for this morning. I wasn't even upset about this morning! The corners of my mouth begin to lift as I read over the message again and again. I can't stop myself from smiling. He cares. 

Hi, Liam. (= No worries. I didn't expect to see you either. My mornings been... interesting. How's yours?

By the time I hit send on my message to Liam, Noah texts back.

Noah Anderson -- Mr. Anderson? Oh please, Raegan. Mr. Anderson's my father. Colorado is the same as when you left it. Why's life so complicated?

Shit. That's a good question. Why is life so complicated? Well for one, my fathers best friend confessed his feelings for me last night. Yeah, that's pretty complicated. Secondly, I confessed them back... that made it worse. My best friend told me that you, Noah, are in love with me! And things still aren't right with my "father." Oh, and to top it all of, I yelled at Niall, making him upset with me. Thats how life is complicated! Unfortunately, I can't tell Noah all that.

Oh, ya know... this "father-daugther" thing. It's still weird. =/ 

Yeah. That's a good answer. No mentioning of Liam. ...Or Niall. Let's keep it that way. Just then, another message from Liam appears on my screen.

Liam Payne -- Interesting? How so? Mines, alright. I'm tired already. Guess I'm getting too old for this kind of thing. ;) 

Oh no... why did he have to say that? Too old? I sigh. He's really not helping my situation. And what's with the winking face? There's never an appropriate time for the winking face! I sigh again. OK, Rae. Calm down. Why are you overthinking everything? Relax. I text back before reading the new message from Noah.

Oh, nothing to worry about. Just a bit of a misunderstanding.

Too vague? Nah. Hopefully he'll just drop it. I really don't want to explain to Liam how Niall lead me into Harry's room, and left me there only for him to wake up and catch me leaving. I put my head in my hands. God, that was so embarrassing. I shake my head, opening my message from Noah.

Noah Anderson -- Oh, yeah. I can imagine. Have you guys talked at all?

Have we talked? Hmm. Do I count the "Don't let Zayn take advantage of you" speech as a talk? It'll have to do. 

Yeah, a little. He gave me some hints on how to keep up with the rest of the boys.

Oh no. That sounded weird. Dammit, now he's going to think somethings up. I reread the message. No, Raegan. It's fine. Why do I keep overthinking everything? Oh look, a new message from Liam. 

Liam Payne -- Hmm. Okay. Well, maybe you can tell me about it later. Louis's nagging me again, so I better go. See you this afternoon! xx

Yeah, maybe I'll "tell him about it later." Or maybe, I'll just avoid it, and hope he forgets. I roll my eyes, deciding not to think about it now. I open my new message from Noah. 

Noah Anderson -- Hints? Like what? Look down before sitting in the bathroom? =P

I roll my eyes and smile. Good. He didn't take it the wrong way. See, Rae? What were you worried about? As I begin typing my reply, I hear a faint tap on my doorframe. I look up, surprised to see Harry standing in the doorway. Suddenly, I feel my face turn bright red, and the very recent embarrassment comes back to me.

"Got a minute?" he asks, before I can say anything.

"Uh-h, yeah. O-of course." Oh, no. He's going to call me out on what happened earlier. Breathe, Rae. Breathe. 

He sighs, walking into the room. Oh no, why is he sighing? 

He sits stiffly at the end of my bed, staring at the ground as if he's in deep thought. Finally he speaks. "How are you?" he asks, throwing me completely off guard. 

"G-good?" I stutter, confused by his words. "How-how are you?" I manage to ask back, politely.

"Erm.. good, I suppose." He says quietly. Wow, this is awkward. He sits for a long moment, completely silent as if he's unsure about what he's about to say. "Your birthday.." he finally begins. "Erm.. what are your plans?" he spits out. Again, I'm caught of guard.

"Oh." I think. I honestly have none. I mean, what's to do? My only friends are 5,000 miles away. "I suppose, I don't really have any?" I shrug. "Don't really know anyone around here, so.." I stop, not finishing my sentence.

"Right.." he nods nervously. "Well.." he starts, "Now you do." He smiles and for the third time I'm completely taken aback. Wait. What? Just yesterday you didn't even know my birthday was coming up.

"Oh?" Is all I manage to get out. 

He nods. "Taken care of," he smiles again, trying to reassure me. I smile back, not knowing how else to respond. He lingers another moment, before standing and heading for the door. I exhale deeply in relief, but then he stops. "Oh, and Raegan?" 

"Y-yes?" I ask, softly.

"Next time you want a tour of my room. Just ask." He smirks, and for the first time since he walked in the room, he actually looks relaxed. I flush, bright red, my face reheating. 

"Harry, I--"

He smiles, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it."

And with that, he leaves, shutting the door behind him. I sigh loudly, falling back on my bed. Today's been a long day, and it's just getting started...


	18. Stressed

I spend the next few hours laying in bed, texting Noah. He tells me how nothing's really changed apart from me leaving. He mentions a few times about how he's missed me, but doesn't give any leads that he actually has feelings for me. Addelyn doesn't know what she's talking about. He's the same old Noah. I look at the time sitting in the corner of my phone and read 1:00. My stomach growls and I realize I never got to finish my cereal. I yawn and stretch, sending Noah one last text before I make my way back downstairs.

Well, Noah, it was great talking to you, but I think I better head downstairs and see what's on the agenda for lunch. I hope to talk to you again real soon! Miss you! xx

I hit send and run a hand through my hair. I sit on the edge of my bed, waiting patiently for Noah to respond. Within seconds he does.

Noah Anderson -- Lunch?! I haven't even thought about breakfast yet. ;) It was good talking to you too. I will definitely contact you again soon. Miss you too, Rae! <3

My face scrunches as I read over his message. He hasn't thought about breakfast? Huh-- and then it hits me. Shit! Time zones. I think for a moment. It has to be at least six in the morning back in Colorado! I begin feeling bad, thinking I distracted Noah from sleep, but then I realize.. he texted me first. Three. Hours. Ago. A warm feeling spreads over me as I think about Noah getting up at 3:00 AM just to send me a good morning text. I smile foolishly and almost text him back. I read over the message once more, and catch the small heart that I looked over the first time. Maybe Addelyn was right. I bite my lip, letting out a big sigh. This so isn't fair. In exactly one week I will be seventeen years old. Up to this point my so called "love life" has been nonexistent. Not one male has shown any real interest in me for seventeen years. Unless you count Brent Richardson. Though, no one ever does, because Brent will suck face with anything that walks. And now, the one guy that means the world to me might have feelings for me, and he's 5,000 miles away! Not to mention, Liam. Oh God, Liam... It's so wrong, but I really have developed feelings for him. He's been there for me since I arrived at this place; always comforting me and trying to keep me happy. But I can't shake the age difference from my head, and I know no one will be able to overlook it. Sixteen years is just too much. Especially since I'm still in high school. I sigh, again, heavier this time. This is a major problem. He looks so young for his age, and I act much older than mine. In fact, I'm actually going into my senior year at seventeen. I'll graduate before I turn eighteen. I can't even imagine what's going on in his head. Just the thought of him kissing me could have him thrown in jail. Oh no. I don't want Liam to go to jail! My good mood fades quickly and I shake my head. I don't know what to do. 

I drag myself down the stairs and toward the kitchen. The television is blaring in the living room and as I glance in, I see Zayn cheerfully watching "Keeping Up with The Kardashians." You've got to be kidding me. I notice a bit of dirty-blonde hair peeking over the edge of the couch, and assume Niall's in the exact place I left him. Oh, Niall. The least of my worries. I frown, thinking back to our fight earlier this morning and think about apologizing. I have enough things to worry about, I don't need my only friend mad at me. I reach the kitchen thinking about what to say, and find Harry leaning over the stove cooking God-knows-what. Whatever it is, it smells heavenly. He's smiling brightly as I enter, but as he takes in my facial expression, he begins to frown. 

"Something wrong, Rae?" he asks, a touch of concern in his voice.

I shrug. "Nothing worth worrying about." His frown deepens and I know he's trying. 

"You sure about that? That face tells me otherwise," he says, hoping to get some kind of answer out of me. All I manage is a nod. Admittedly, I don't hate Harry as much anymore. I was rash in the beginning because of all my unanswered questions and emotions. Can you blame me? My father left me, and my mother died. Faced with my father once again, I didn't know how to feel. Although, I know he tries. He doesn't know what to do with me either. He has no idea who I am, or what I like. He doesn't have a clue about being a father, and he doesn't know how to act. I get it. And yet, I have no sympathy for him. I know I can't hate him, because he's trying to fix it. I give him credit for that. But I don't want to know him. Over the years, I convinced myself I didn't have a father, and soon enough, I became okay with it. I didn't waste time coming up with false hope that he would come back. I made myself understand that it would never happen. I was happy, because I didn't set myself up for disappointment. And now he's here. Right in front of me. And as much as I respect him for trying, I don't want anything to do with him. Don't get me wrong. I'm not heartless. I'll humor him. I'll talk to him. But I will never let him mean anything to me. He doesn't deserve it. 

His frown remains put on his face, but just to be safe he lets it go. "Okay," he mumbles, going back to his cooking. "You have any big plans for the day?" he says trying to keep the situation from getting awkward. Plans? Where does he think I come up with all these plans?

"Uhm... no. Not really. I never really know what to do." He nods, understandingly, but his frown doesn't fade. I think he feels bad. "What ever happened to Rylee?" I blurt out, trying to get the spotlight off of myself. He blushes.

"Oh...erm... she's around," he mumbles, avoiding my eye contact. 

"Around? What do you mean?" I ask, curious.

"We talk," he says quickly, focusing on his cooking.

I smirk. "Talk? or 'Taaaalk?'" I say, putting air quotes around the second phrase. He looks up at me momentarily as if questioning my motives. I smile at him, eagerly waiting for his response.

"Erm...." he starts, not knowing how to respond. "Not sure what you mean."

"Does she like you?" I ask bluntly. He flushes a light tint of pink. 

"Uh-" I cut him off.

"Do you like her?" He looks up at me surprised. 

"Er.. yeah. She's fit," he says glancing around the room. Fit?! Is that all you care about?

"Fit, eh?" I look at him, questioningly.

"Y-yeah," he swallows hard. "Very sweet too." 

Hmmm. I ponder. How far can I take this? "Where'd you guys go the other night?"

He hesitates before speaking. "The pub." 

"Aahh, right. With Zayn?" I ask as if I didn't know. He stills, looking up at me. 

"Yes," he smiles sarcastically, gritting his teeth. "Anymore questions?"

I shrug, shaking my head. "Nope." He nods, going back to his cooking. "I think he likes her," I blurt out, searching Harry for a reaction. He pauses a moment, not looking up, then continues to stir whatever's in the pot. 

"Oh, really? And what gave you that idea?" he asks, dryly.

I shrug again, sarcastically. "Oh, I don't know.. maybe the fact neither of you could keep yourselves from drooling last night."

He looks up, offended. "I was not drooling!"

"Oh, please! You two couldn't take your eyes off of her." I fight back. He rolls his eyes, keeping quiet. I pause a moment before speaking again. "Are you going to see her again tonight?" 

He lets out a large sigh, and instantly stops what he's doing. He places both hands on his hips, staring at me, and for a moment I feel like I'm going to be lectured. "Why are you suddenly so interested in Rylee?" he asks, not quite glaring at me.

I sit back, holding my hands up in defense. "Can't a girl make conversation?" I ask innocently. 

He stares at me a moment, and a hint of a smile crosses his lips. "I suppose she can." He shakes his head, failing at hiding his smile and returns once again to his cooking. I smile back, rolling my eyes, and spontaneously make the decision to go apologize to Niall. As I get up, though, Harry looks up in surprise.

"Where are you going?" he asks, confusion displayed across his face.

"The living room...?" I look at him questioningly, unsure of why it matters.

"Oh..." he frowns, looking back down at the pot. "Okay." I hesitate a moment, taken back by his disappointment. Finally, with one last glance in his direction, I make my way into the living room. 

As I walk in, Zayn is unaffected by my presence. Niall glances at me momentarily and then looks back at the television sadly. I frown knowing I was a little too harsh on him earlier.

"Hi.." I whisper, sitting down next to him in the same slouched way he is. 

"Hey," he mumbles, not giving me a second glance. 

I sigh, my frown deepening. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.. I was just... embarrassed."

"It's fine. You had the right to be. I'm sorry," he says, but his tone is unconvincing.

"Don't be mad at me," I pout sticking out my bottom lip. He glances at me for a split second then looks away. "Niaalll...." I whine, resting my head against his shoulder. He doesn't react. "I'm sorry," I groan, burying my face in his shoulder. I wait, listening for some kind of response. "Seriously?" I say, pulling my face out from in between the couch and his shoulder. "Are you really going to be mad at me for yelling at you when you tricked me into going in there?" I scowl at him. 

"I didn't trick you!" he defends himself, finally speaking. "You went in there on your own!"

"You didn't stop me!" I fight back.

He sighs. "I said I was sorry. Multiple times!" 

My eyes get wider with frustration. "I know! I'm not mad at you. I apologized for yelling at you earlier. I don't understand why you're still upset." He breathes out heavily, not answering me. "Seriously, Niall? What's been up with you?" He looks at me questioningly, but doesn't say anything. "You've been acting really.... emotional the last few days. When I first got here it was all fun and games. Laughing and joking. Now though, you get mad at me so easily. Like the other day when I 'ignored you for Liam.' What was that about?!" He looks at me shocked, but quickly begins to glare. 

"Just don't worry about it!" he finally speaks, and storms out of the room. I sit wide eyed, with my lips parted, completely dumbfounded. What the hell did I do? I glance over at Zayn who is completely oblivious, still wrapped up in his show. I let out a deep breath and sit back, staring at the television. I have no idea what is going on though, because I'm too busy thinking about what I've done to turn Niall against me. A few short moments pass and suddenly the front door swings open. I hear them before I see them. 

"You cheated!"

"How did I cheat?! It was one on one!" 

"You tripped me!"

"I did no such thing!" 

Instantly, I hear the door slam shut and vigorous footsteps sprint up the stairs. Not a second a later I hear a deep sigh escape the lips of whom I assume to be Liam. I sit up slowly, and look back behind the couch confirming my suspicion. Liam stands, panting in the doorway, sweat dripping from his brow. As he wipes the moisture from his face he glances up and meets my eye contact. He smiles softly, but takes note of my expression and suddenly his smile vanishes. Quickly he glances around the room, I assume to check if anyone's watching, and pads his way over to me. 

"Everything alright, love?" he whispers, giving no thought to Zayn who is just inches from us. 

"I could ask you the same question," I respond softly.

He half smiles rolling his eyes. "Oh, you know Louis. Sassy as ever." I nod, returning his half smile, as he continues. "He's convinced that I cheated by tripping him, when clearly he's just clumsy and stubborn," he lets out a small chuckle, but too soon his face is serious again. "Now, it's your turn. What's wrong?"

I shake my head knowing I'll have to tell him eventually, just not now. "Drama with Niall. You could say he's just as sassy as Louis. I'll tell you more later." I sigh, looking into his beautiful caramel colored eyes. 

He nods. "Okay. Well, I look forward to hearing about it." He straightens, and lifts my chin so that I'm looking up at him. "I'm going to grab a shower. Don't let it eat at you. It's probably nothing." He smiles warmly and gently lets go of my chin. I nod, faking a smile, and though I know he's not convinced, Liam heads up the stairs. Once more I glance at Zayn, but he shows no sign of movement.

"Hi, Zayn." I say clearly, expecting no response.

"Hi, Rae," he smiles, replying a bit too quickly. Oh shit. Was he listening? To everything?

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask, a bit nervous. His smile reaches his eyes and shines suspiciously. 

"Not a single word."

I suppress a giggle, but begin feeling nauseous all at the same time. That little shit. I sigh, knowing I've got enough to worry about without letting Zayn get to me. Secretly, I hope he keeps what he heard to himself. I mean, Liam didn't say anything different.. did he? He called me love. Nah, all British people do that. He touched my chin... Yeah.. thats a little suspicious. But maybe Zayn wasn't paying that close of attention. I shake the thoughts from my head not being able to handle anymore stress. 

"Good." 

***

Shortly after my awkward chat with Zayn, Harry calls us all for lunch. It is unexpected, because usually we only eat dinner together. I take my usual place in between Zayn and Louis, waiting patiently for everyone else to arrive. Liam enters shortly after I do, his hair still damp from his shower. I smile up at him, almost too excitedly, though am relieved when he returns my enthusiasm. Niall trudges in moments later wearing his "leave me the hell alone" expression that he'd been showing off since he left the living room. I glance to my right, at Louis, who seems to have calmed down from his quarrel with Liam. Harry enters last, carrying his large pot of who-knows-what, and sets it down on the table. 

"Dig in," he says nonchalantly, and before anyone can move a muscle Zayn has the ladle in his hand. We all stare at him, amused, but he very easily ignores us. I suppress a laugh, and patiently wait my turn. I glance up at Liam whose also suppressing a chuckle and smile. Just seeing him puts me in a better mood. 

Lunch is quiet and fairly quick. As soon as everyone's finished their meal, they all stand and head in different directions. I tell Harry that I'll clean up, and Liam nods saying he'll join me. Harry smiles appreciatively and wanders off to do his own thing. Niall's the last one eating, and as he finishes, he shoots me a quick glare. Immediately, I glance at Liam and gesture to what I've been trying to tell him. Liam takes note and calls him out on it.

"What's your problem, Niall?" he snaps, expecting an answer.

"Fuck off, Liam," he snaps back and abruptly leaves the room. 

"See!" I turn, looking at Liam.

He nods, understandingly. "I don't get it, either." He frowns, walking toward me. I take a step back, knowing what he's doing. He looks at me, and raises an eyebrow. I stare back at him and he sighs. 

"Raegan.. no one's watching." 

I shrug, and keep quiet. He walks toward the entrance of the dining room and glances both ways out the door. 

"No one is even in the hallway." He looks at me expectantly. When I don't respond, he walks back over to me and wraps his arms around my waist. I respond mechanically, wrapping my arms around his neck. "When are you going to tell me what happened?" he mumbles in between my neck and shoulder. 

"Later.." I sigh, cherishing his hug. 

"Later as in today?" he asks softly, his breath hot against my neck. 

"Yeah. Later as in today," I repeat.

I feel his smile against my skin. "Good." 

"Now let go. We have a dining room to clean, and dishes to do," I command, though I don't release my arms from his neck. 

"Okay," he smiles, but doesn't move a muscle. I pull my head back looking into his eyes and smile. 

"Seriously," I giggle, and he lets me go. I move to grab the dishes from the table and look up at him. "I wash, you dry?" I ask.

"Sounds good to me."

***

As soon as we finish the dishes, I begin making my way upstairs. I notice, however, that I have a follower right behind me.

"Something I can help you with, sir?" I ask Liam as we reach the top of the stairs.

"Was I not invited to come with you?" he looks at me, his eyebrow raised.

"To my room?" I look at him a bit surprised.

He nods. "Why not? I was in there the other day?"

"Yeah, but that was before--" he cuts me off.

"Raegan, no one said anything then. No one's going to say anything now. Besides, Niall doesn't want to see anyone, and Harry's probably going out. Louis and Zayn will do their own thing. Trust me, they don't care what you or I are up to. Think about it. Does anyone usually bother you after dinner?"

"No.. but this is lunch, it's much earlier in the day. Not only that, I'm usually in the living room after dinner." 

He rolls his eyes. "You live here now. You're allowed to be alone in your room if you want." 

"But I wouldn't be alon--" 

"They don't know that!" He sighs. "Raegan, if you don't want me to go with you, then just say so."

"No, Liam. It's not that." I frown. "I just don't want you to go to jail..."

"Jail?" he looks amused. "Where did that come from?"

"Don't laugh! It's serious. I'm underage and you could get in big trouble for this."

"For what?! Sitting in your room with you and talking?! Raegan, you are blowing this way out of proportion. Nobody's questioning us."

"Zayn might be.."

Now he's really confused. "What?"

"Zayn was listening to everything that was said earlier."

"Okay..." he pauses. "So he knows that Louis threw a fit, and I took a shower?"

"Liam, you touched me."

His brow furrows and I think I've upset him. "The chin thing? Really? You think Zayn knows about us because of me touching your chin." 

"It's not everyday when your dad's best friend touches your chin."

He rolls his eyes. "You are being ridiculous." 

I sigh. "I just don't want to mess things up!"

He steps forward and graps my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye. "Listen. The oak tree outside is louder than Zayn. He's not going to say anything to anyone. Louis couldn't care less about our lives, because he's dealing with his own. Harry's oblivious, and Niall-- who even knows what Niall is dealing with. You're not messing anything up, because no one has a clue. I'm not going to jail. I'm not going anywhere. Not unless yout tell me to." I stare at him, silently, soaking in his words. 

"Okay.." I whisper. "I'm sorry." He pulls me into his arms, confident that no one is paying any attention. I decided not to fight it and hug him back tightly.

"Don't be sorry. Just don't let it bother you." He stands back and grabs my chin between his fingers. "I never pegged you as the type of person that let things get to them." 

I shake my head. "I'm not. I don't know what's gotten into me." He shrugs, and takes my hand. I glance around to make sure no one is watching, and he rolls his eyes. 

"C'mon, love," he says softly as he heads toward my room. 

Once we're safe inside my room, Liam shuts the door. 

"What are you doing?" I ask, a bit suspicious. 

"Shutting the door? Would you rather I leave it open?" 

"Why does the door need to be shut?"

"Well, Ms. Paranoid. If the door is closed then everyone will think you want to be alone, and do your own thing. If it's open then Harry could walk by and see us. ....and then I could go to jail," he teases.

"That's not funny, Liam!" I say, glaring at him.

He chuckles, rolling his eyes. "Calm down. You still want the door open?"

I shake my head, defeated. He's right. I don't know why I'm so paranoid. 

"Good," he nods, stepping away from the closed door. I lay back on my bed, letting out a deep breath as Liam joins me. He sits lightly at the end of my bed, his legs still firm on the ground.

I roll my eyes. "You don't have to sit like a statue. Get up here." He smiles, and pulls his legs up on the bed, crossing them in front of him. I lean up on my elbows and stare at him. He stares back, his smile not fading. We sit like this for a long moment, before he breaks the silence.

"So now are you going to tell me what happened with Niall?" he asks. I nod and let myself fall back on the bed. I stare blankly at the ceiling as I tell my story of getting trapped in Harry's room, and shouting at Niall.

"And You apologized for yelling?" he asks as I finish up.

I nod. "Yes. But he's still angry."

He sighs, shaking his head. "That's weird. I wonder what's bugging him."

"Should you go talk to him?" I ask, and Liam ponders the thought.

"Yeah. I should." He pauses. "But not right now."

"Why not now?"

He stretches out on his stomach, looking up at me. "Because I'm with you right now." I smile, shly and look back at the ceiling. I feel his eyes on me as I lay there. 

"What are you thinking about?" He whispers, watching me. 

"Nothing," I answer him, softly, staring at the dull white ceiling. 

"Thats the biggest lie I've ever heard," he snorts.

I smile because he's right. "Okay. Everything."

"Like what?" 

"My friends. Harry. Niall. You..."

"Me?" he asks curiously.

I nod. "Yeah.. A lot about you."

He smiles. "Good things? Or bad?"

I sigh, rolling over on my side so I can look at him. "Both." He frowns. I pause a long moment before explaining myself. "I really do like you Liam... but this is so wrong on so many levels."

He looks down momentarily and a dark thought crosses his face. "I know.."

"I can never tell Harry..."

He looks up. "I don't expect you to."

"Never, Liam."

"I heard you."

"That means there's no future for us."

He frowns. "Rae, you're not going to be seventeen forever."

I look at him, thinking about what he said. "But with Harry... It wouldn't matter if I was thirty, he would never approve."

He looks at me, his eyes serious. "Since when do you care what Harry thinks?" I pause, knowing he's exactly right. I don't care what Harry thinks. I'll be free from him forever in just over a year. I nod, Liam's words hitting me like a ton of bricks. 

"You're right.. Maybe there is hope for us after all."

He smiles wide, his caramel eyes gleaming with promise. "You don't know how amazing it is to hear you say that." I smile back at him, but too quickly it fades. "What's wrong?" he asks, concerned.

"Does the age difference bother you? I-I mean, do you feel bad for liking me?" I whisper.

He shakes his head. "Of course not. Rae, I don't see you as some little baby girl. I see you as this beautiful woman who has caught every bit of my attention." I smile softly. "Does it bother you? Do you feel wrong liking some old geazer?" 

I giggle. "Liam, you're not a geazer! You don't look a day over twenty-two. Of course it doesn't bother me. Just the sound of it though.. Sixteen years is a long time, Liam." 

He nods, understanding. "Rae, there's a lot of.. issues.. with what we're trying to pull off here. That's very obvious. But we can't waist our time worrying about it. We'll figure it out as we go. Well.. I mean, if you want to."

I nod, knowing that is the answer to all my previous questions. What are we going to do? Figure it out as we go. "I do. I do want to." 

Once again he smiles wide, his eyes shining bright. "Me too. Now if you excuse me, the last time I was in here I made a very bad decision, and I'd like to make up for it now."

I raise my eyebrows, searching his face for an explanation. Realization sinks in when he begins leaning forward, and I am soon captured under his soft, pink lips. He prolongs the gentle kiss, pulling away slowly and staring into my eyes. I stare back completely mesmerized by him. He leans in again once more repeating the gentle action, and for the first time all day, I feel relaxed.


	19. Aunty G

I smile shyly as Liam's lips pull away for the final time. 

"You okay?" he asks, genuinely concerned.

I nod. "I'm far better than okay," I continue to smile. He flashes me a smirk, and lays back down beside me.

"Good to hear. So tell me more," he adds, taking my hand in his.

"More?" I ask, "More about what?"

"You."

I smile shyly again and begin telling him random things about me, like how I met my friends and what we used to do together. I mention that I'm kind of athletic and that I struggle in science. He simply listens carefully, smiling occasionally, which, in turn, causes me to smile too.

After what I assume to be thirty minutes of rambling, I notice Liam's smile has completely vanished. A sorrowful stare takes its place on his face. I pause, confused, and ask him why he looks so sad.

"Liam...? What's with the gloom face?" He shakes his head and gestures for me to continue. "No. Tell me." He's quiet. "Liam!"

He sighs. "You've been talking about your mum."

I pause. Have I? I didn't even realize what I had been saying. Everything was coming out so freely, I-- "What did I say?"

"You just talked so highly of her. It makes me hurt to know she's gone."

I frown. Of course I talked highly of her. She was my hero. My best friend. My other half. I don't know what I'd do without her... My thoughts trail off. What will I do without her? I sure haven't figured it out yet and it's been over a month. I must get lost in my thoughts, for I feel Liam's hand gently touch my cheek.

"Hey.. Don't think about it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

I look up at him, staring into the deep caramel abyss that are is eyes. He's mirroring my frown. "No, it's okay," I start to say. "I need to talk about her. I need to remind myself that she was real, and not some figment of my imagination."

He stares silently at me, though eventually, he finds words. "I wish I knew her," he whispers.

"I wish I could have introduced you two," I answer him. "She would have loved you." I smile at the mere thought.

"Really?" he asks, surprised I think. "She would approve?"

I nod. "Yeah." I smile, reassuring myself. "What's not to like?"

He grins shyly, avoiding my eye contact. "But I'm soooo old," he mocks me.

I shrug. "She was never one to judge. I mean, c'mon. She slept with Harry." I roll my eyes, but Liam doesn't find it funny.

"You know.. Harry isn't a bad guy," he stares blankly at me.

"Sure," I shrug. "He just abandoned the girl he so happened to knock up," I reply, showing no emotion.

"Raegan..." he begins.

"What? Is that not what happened?" 

Liam pauses for a good minute before finally answering. "I guess I don't know," he shrugs. "He never said much on the subject..." he frowns. "....or anything at all for that matter."

I frown, but try my best to hide it. "Doesn't surprise me. I mean look at him. He's 'Harry Styles.' The last thing he needed was for everyone to know he had a child." 

Liam sighs. "Rae, I promise you Harry is a good guy. I don't know the circumstances, but I'm sure he didn't abandon you.."

I begin getting frustrated. "Are you kidding me right now? Did you see the look of surprise on his face when I showed up? The look of guilt? He never thought he was going to see me again. He didn't think I would ever be his problem."

"That's not it, he's just--"

"Liam. You said it yourself. You didn't even know I existed. If he truly cared about me, don't you think he would have said something about having a kid to his best friends?"

Liam frowns again. "Yeah.. I mean, unless--"

"Unless what? He was embarrassed about it? Exactly! He doesn't want me Liam... and I don't particularly want him." I swallow, surprised at my own words. My heart is beating a mile a minute. Liam decides to shut up about the subject and stares silently at his hands. We sit in silence for a few good minutes before we're interrupted by a knock at the door.

"What?" I almost shout, my blood still pumping from before.

There's a long pause before a deep Irish accent whispers, "Can we talk?" from behind the door.

I take a deep breath, and try to calm down, but just as I am doing so, I remember Liam is in my room. In my bed, to be exact. "Uh... yeah.. one second!" my voice sounds panicked.

"O-okay," Niall swallows, surprised by my sudden change in tone.

My eyes lock onto Liam's instantly, but he's already staring at me in horror. "HIDE," I whisper through gritted teeth, and Liam disappears in seconds. Casually I pull out my phone and pretend to be doing something on it. "C-come in." I say my voice fluctuating between two different pitches. Slowly the door creaks open revealing a very sad face. I frown just looking at him. Suddenly, I feel really bad. 

"Raegan.." he says, looking at the ground, still half hidden by the door, "..I'm sorry.." I stare at him silently. Eventually, he looks up at me as if he's expecting me to say something. I don't, and he swallows hard making his adams-apple bob up and down roughly. 

"I--" he starts to speak again, but I don't think he knows what to say.

"Niall.." I interrupt and his eyes soften, grateful that he doesn't have to speak. "Don't.... don't be sorry." He opens his mouth to say something, but I speak again before he can. "Just help me understand.."

"Understand?" he questions, raising an eyebrow.

"What am I doing, that keeps upsetting you so easily?" 

He sighs, and a look of complete confusion consumes his face. "I-I don't know. I don't mean to act different.. I..." he trails off, but eventually comes back to what he was saying. "I think.. I think I"m just afraid of upsetting you.. so in turn, I get upset." He sighs again, heavier this time. "That didn't make any sense."

I suppress a grin by biting my lip. "No.. no it didn't." I shake my head.

He notices and one side of his mouth turns up in a half smile. "Just forgive me? Please? I'll try to be less.... 'emotional?' Is that what you called it?"

I laugh, rolling my eyes, and nod. "Yes.. that's what I called it. And yes. I forgive you. As long as you forgive me?" I look at him questioningly.

He nods. "Of course." His eyes soften again. "No more fighting?"

"I sure hope not." He frowns and looks back at the ground. I sit up and hold out my arms. He catches the movement out of the corner of his eye, and looks up at me, smiling. He walks up to me almost too quickly and wraps his arms tightly around me. I smile back, wrapping my arms around him. We stay like this for a moment before I remember Liam is still somewhere in the room. I pull back, a guilty look plastered on my face, but I hide it before Niall can see. He looks at me questioningly, but says nothing. 

"So... wanna go watch some telly?" he asks as if nothing ever happened. "I think Derby's playin'."

I mentally groan. Ohhhh Great.. Soccer... my favorite. "Uh... yeah... sure." I fake a smile, but I guess it's convincing because Niall's face lights up. 

"Great! Let's go!" He starts to grab my arm, but I pull it away thinking of Liam. 

"I'll meet you down there?" I say. He looks confused, but thankfully he just nods. 

"Yeah.. okay. See ya there." And with that, he leaves. I shut the door behind him, hoping he doesn't notice and turn to go find Liam.

"Liaaaaaam." I whisper. "You can come out nooww." I jump up on my bed, glancing over the side, expecting to see him, but to my surprise he's not there. "Liaaaaam?" I sing, bending over the side and peering under the bed. I grunt, adjusting to get a better look and push my hair out of my eyes. Instantly, our eyes lock and I scream, startled, and fall face first off the bed. Liam erupts in laughter as I lay groaning on the floor. I turn to glare at him, but his eyes are closed tightly as he laughs. "You're a jerk," I pout, but his laughing doesn't cease. I roll my eyes and attempt to get up but he grabs my arm and pulls me back down. "Owww.." I groan again as Liam drags me under the bed. Most the light is blocked out by the bed above me, but I can still make out the silhouette of Liam's face. Though I can't really see it, I know he's smiling his widest smile. 

"Don't smile at me," I continue to pout.

"I'm not," he lies, smiling wider, if possible.

"You're so full of it." I roll my eyes.

"Full of what?" He smirks.

"Poo." 

He begins laughing again, and pulls my face against his, the tips of our noses touching. "I know you are, but what am I?" he whispers, biting his lip. 

I roll my eyes for the third time and my face breaks into a smile. "You are soooo laaaame," I laugh, and he kisses me before I can say more. 

***

Before I know it, I'm downstairs on the couch watching "football" with Niall. Liam said he had some stuff to do, but he hasn't stopped texting me since I came downstairs, so I know he's lying. Niall's completely wrapped up in the game, so he hasn't said a word about my face being buried in my phone. Thank God, too, because I know I've been smiling at my phone more than I should. I'm so paranoid that someone's going to catch me and Liam. I mean, nothing has really happened, but any suspicion from one of the other boys could create major problems for both Liam and me. I shake the thoughts from my mind and try to think of a cover story in case Niall catches me. However, I'm easily distracted. 

Stop making me smile. =|

I try to keep a straight face while sending the message but I fail horribly.

Kevin -- Whyyyyy???? I like your smile. :)

I roll my eyes and chuckle at the name in my phone. I saved Liam's contact name as Kevin in case any of the other guys happened to catch me texting him. 

Because Niall's going to wonder why I'm smiling so much at my phone. And that was lame.

I pretend to care what's happening on the screen while I wait for a response. I yawn, and Niall notices. We make eye contact, and he smiles briefly. He has such a nice smile. I begin to wonder if he's ever had braces. I smile back automatically, but get lost in my thoughts. There's a lot of things I still don't know about any of the guys. I think for a moment more, before shrugging it off and deciding not to worry about it. I look down at my phone and see a new message from Liam.

Kevin -- Oh well. If he questions you, just say you're texting Addelyn or something. And what was lame?

Haha. Funny you say that. According to my phone, I'm texting Kevin. And you're comment was lame.

He responds almost instantly.

Kevin -- Kevin? Who's Kevin? And about me liking your smile?? It's true. 

You're Kevin. I changed your contact name to Kevin so that no one would know I was texting you this much. ...and thanks.. (=

Kevin -- D: You what?! Are you embarrassed of me? :(

I roll my eyes.

Liam...

Kevin -- Don't you mean, "Keevviinnn?" 

...

Kevin -- I'm kidding! I know what you meant. That's a smart move. And also, you're welcome :)

I smile and momentarily look up at the TV. Derby is losing and I glance over to look for a reaction from Niall. Sure enough, he's glaring at the television. I try not to laugh, but I almost can't help it. 

"You okay?" I ask, trying to hide my amusement.

"No," he states bluntly.

"Oh, Niall, it's just a game."

He glares at me. I'm about to offer some encouragement when Louis walks in and falls onto the couch next to me.

"Alright!" he shouts, making me jump. 

"Shut up!" Niall shouts back. "I don't want to hear it." 

Louis smirks, and I'm officially confused. 

"Ah, don't be a sore loser, Niall."

"I said to shut it, Tommo." Louis continues to smirk. I look at Louis in total confusion, and he notices. 

"Niall's just mad because my team's finally doing well," Louis whispers, making sure Niall can hear. I squint at the TV and read "DRFC." I look to Louis and ask him what that stands for. He tells me it stands for Doncaster Rovers Football Club. He mentions that it's his favorite team, and that he's originally from Doncaster.

"Have you ever been to a game?" I ask as Louis rambles. Apparently it was a dumb question because Louis bursts into a fit of laughter and Niall rolls his eyes. I look to Niall for an explanation.

"Louis used to play for the Rovers... occasionally." 

I look at Louis. "Really??" He smirks.

"Hell yeah. Best player they ever had."

Niall snorts. "Far from it."

Louis glares, and I remain half shocked, half confused. 

"Was this before or after you were in the biggest boy band in the world?" I ask, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

Louis picks up on it and rolls his eyes. "During, actually. I once was a busy man."

"Once was? I'd say you're pretty busy now, considering I never see you around here."

Louis stares at me a moment, blankly. He then shrugs, and mumbles something, frowning. "No worries. I'll be around a lot more now." He sounds depressed, but I decide not to test the subject. I think back to the other night at dinner and assume he's still having girlfriend problems. I nod and look up at the screen, but the game's over. Rovers 3 - Derby 2. 

I glance at Niall carefully, and notice he's looking past me at Louis. A frown sits plainly on his face. Whatever's going on with Louis must be worse than girlfriend problems. 

The living room is quiet for what feels like an eternity, before Liam's voice breaks the silence.

"What's all the gloom looks for?" he asks stepping down from the bottom stair of the staircase. I'm sure my face lights up, but I try to play it cool as he enters the living room.

"Niall's just bummed his team sucks," Louis comments, trying to draw the attention away from himself.

Niall rolls his eyes as Liam chuckles. "Sounds like Niall."

I find myself laughing at Niall too, but Niall isn't seeing the humor in any of this. 

"I think it's time we leave Niall and his football game alone," Niall says dryly. 

Louis smirks apologetically, and Niall nods it off.

Liam sits comfortably in the chair closest to the door, and flashes me a white-toothed smile. I smile back, but only glance at him so that the other boys don't notice. Louis continues to look at his hands as Niall turns off the television in disgust. Suddenly, another familiar face joins the room.

"We having a party?" Harry says, sitting on the arm of the couch.

Almost everyone looks at him expressionless. 

"Not a very fun one it seems," Liam answers. 

Harry nods then changes the subject. "Soo.. what is everyone feeling for dinner tonight?"

Dinner. Right. I should know by now that Harry only shows his face when food's involved. 

No one answers him. I feel him looking at me, but I avoid eye contact. Eventually, Louis shrugs. "You decide."

I glance up to see Harry bite his lip, thinking about it. "Wanna go out?" Everyone groans. 

"We just ate out the other night," Louis comments. Harry raises his eyebrows in confusion. Probably, because he, Liam, and Zayn were so into Rylee that they didn't come. 

"We did?" he questions.

Niall nods. "We did. You didn't. You had other things on your mind." I chuckle and Louis smirks at me. I look up to see Harry looking at me with an eyebrow raised. 

"Oh.." he frowns. 

"We could order in," I suggest. "That way you don't have to cook, and no one else has to get all dressed up." I glance around the room quickly and see everyone thinking it over. 

Harry nods and asks, "Anyone oppose?" Everyone's quiet.

"Right. Well what's everyone in the mood for?" 

This time the room erupts in opinions. I hear Liam arguing for Chinese as Niall fights for pizza. Louis starts out on Niall's side but ends up arguing against him. "We have pizza all the time!" I hear out of the mix of voices. Harry and I stay relatively quiet, waiting on the others to come to an agreement. However, in moments everyone is silenced by a knock at the door. 

"Ah, I got it." Liam says a bit irritated from the food argument.

The entire room watches him as he walks to the door. Is it rare that we have visitors? I wonder. Maybe it's Eleanor. I glance at Louis. He seems to be just as curious as everyone else. I shift my eyes to Harry who looks equally puzzled. My eyes travel back to Liam as he opens the door.

"Gemma? I didn't know you were coming by," I hear Liam say, surprised.

Gemma? What in the world is a Gemma? I glance around the room a second time trying to get an idea of who this person may be. Though, I look no further than Harry. His eyes are wide. Scared even. 

"That's because it's a surprise, Liam!" I hear a female voice say as a strange woman pushes her way past Liam into the house. I stare at her, looking her over. She has dark green eyes and long blonde hair. Though, you can see her brown roots coming through, so you know she's not naturally blonde. I continue to stare at her, racking my brain for some idea of who she might be. Liam knows her. Maybe she's an ex? No. Why would an ex of Liam's just show up out of the blue? Harry knows her too. ...and he doesn't seem too happy that she's here. Maybe, she is an ex. Harry's ex. I decide to go with that until I find out who she really is. It doesn't take her but a moment to realize that I'm in the room. Her eyes lock with mine. 

"Ooooo, Niall. Finally score yourself a girlfriend?" she smiles, winking at Niall. I glance at Niall, and a look of confusion is displayed across his face.

"What?" 

He follows her eyes to me and realization hits him. 

"Oh, no! She's --"

"Gemma, we need to talk!" Harry interrupts, finally coming out of his shock. 

"Uh.. okay?" Gemma shrugs glancing at Harry. Harry's eyes are urgent, and without another word Gemma follows him into the kitchen. 

I stare at the doorway of the kitchen, confused. Me? Niall's girlfriend? Ha! I roll my eyes. Who is she? And what gives her the right to make all these assumptions? I look over to Niall, expecting an explanation.

"Who was that?" I state plainly.

"That was Gemma. Gemma Styles. Harry's sister."

Sister? Man, was I off. I review her in my mind. Dark hair. Dark green eyes. The same, white-toothed smile. Sister makes way more sense. 

"Your aunty to be exact," Louis smirks, obviously getting a kick out of all of this.

Aunt? I have an aunt? I think back to my mothers side of the family. She had a brother, but no sisters. Not to to mention, her brother was very sick, and passed before I was born. I never knew him. 

I look up at Liam and he attempts to comfort me with a half smile. Gemma obviously has no idea who I am. I'm guessing the only people who did were Harry and his parents, and from what I've heard, his parents probably easily forgot about me. 

"You what?!" I hear a sharp female voice echo throughout the kitchen. I wince. The room around me is completely quiet for a long time. I'm assuming everyone's trying to listen to the conversation going on in the next room, but I can't hear a word.

"Can't believe he never told Gemma.." Niall eventually mumbles.

Louis snorts. "Why would he?"

"Oh, I don't know. Because they're family?"

"And what are we?" Louis looks at him. "He never told us either."

"Yeah, but.."

"Would you want to tell your sister that you're the reason you moved out of the country?" 

Niall shrugs. "No.. guess not."

I frown. I'm the reason they moved out of the country. My mother mentioned that the boy she met was new to their school. He'd only been there about a year before my mom started high school. To think that Harry was only in America for a year and half because of me makes me feel awful. It makes me wonder why they moved there in the first place. 

I sink down into the couch and stare at the black television screen in front of me. Louis and Niall continue to comment back and forth about why he should or shouldn't have told his sister about me. I stay quiet, feeling worse and worse about the subject. I begin feeling sick, and am about to get up and leave when Gemma suddenly storms back into the room, followed by Harry. 

I turn my head for a moment, looking at Harry. His head is down and his cheeks are flushed. He looks as if he's a four year old who has just been scolded by a parent. My frown deepens, and I turn back to staring at the blank TV.

The room is silent. 

"So..." Gemma eventually starts. "Where's Zayn?"

I half smile at her question. Zayn. It's so easy to forget about Zayn. He's so quiet. 

Niall and Liam shrug, and Gemma nods. I catch her looking at me from time to time, but when I look back she quickly shifts her eyes. Another beat passes before she speaks again.

"I'm hungry. What's for dinner?"

I guess this lifts some of the weight off the room, because almost immediately, Niall, Louis, and Liam pick up on their pizza argument with Gemma joining in on Niall's side. I can't help but smile a little, and glance up at Harry who has a hint of a smile on his own face. I sigh in relief, seeing that Harry is okay. I shouldn't feel any sympathy toward him, but I feel a bit guilty that Gemma yelled at him. 

Harry keeps my eye contact and shakes his head. "What are we gonna do? I don't think they'll ever decide." 

I begin to shrug, having no clue what to do, when suddenly an idea pops into my head. The answer to our dinner problem is simple. I smirk.

"Ask Zayn."


	20. Bradford Bad Boy

Harry smiles, and nods. "Good plan. How about you go find him, and I'll stay here and make sure these four don't kill each other."

I nod and quickly run up the stairs in search of Zayn. Problem is, I have no idea which room he's in. The upstairs hallway is long and narrow, housing about four rooms on each side. Obviously, I know which room is mine, and thanks to Niall, I know which one is Harry's. However, that leaves me six rooms of complete mystery. I think back to the other night when I watched Liam walk back to his room. I vaguely remember which room he entered and decide to eliminate that one as a possibility. I walk carefully down the hall as if I'm going to be caught at any minute. Though, I don't know what I'm worried for, considering Harry knows I'm up here, and everyone else is too caught up in their argument to notice I'm gone. 

I begin to work my way down the hallway, peeking in rooms of the unknown. As I glance in each room, I notice the different colors on the walls and the diverse arrangement of furniture. My eyes grow big, soaking it all in. I've been here over a month and the house is still a mystery to me. 

After a short time, I find myself on the opposite end of the hall from where I had started. I walked past Harry, Liam, and what I assumed to be Niall's rooms, considering that there was a large Irish flag on the wall and a framed jersey that read 'Horan' on the back. Many of the rooms I pass are unoccupied, though there are still two left. Louis and Zayn's. I stand at the end of the hallway, the remaining doors on either side of me. I continue to be quiet, contemplating which door to open first. Though, my decision is made for me as I hear heavy breathing behind the door on my right. I take a silent step in the direction of the hushed sounds and gently push open the door, creating a gap just wide enough to peek through. I squint my eyes and discover two shapes laying on the bed, their lips connected. My eyes grow wide at the sight of the two figures. One of them is clearly Zayn, though I cannot fully see who is accompanying him. 

"Get it, Zaaaayn," I chuckle to myself, though I know he cannot hear me.

I stand just outside the door, desperate to find out who Zayn's sucking face with. However, after several minutes, the whole situation begins feeling hopeless and uncomfortable. Just as I make my decision to leave the obscure couple alone, Zayn stands, pulling his mystery woman to her feet. Confusion clouds my mind as I observe the girl from head to toe. Long, wavy brown hair hangs over her shoulders, and soft hazel eyes light up as she stares at Zayn. Something inside me insists that I know who she is, though I can't recall why. I rack my brain for some sort of idea, and then it hits me. My lips part as I slowly back away from the doorway. This can't be happening. I shake my head and run down the hallway to my room in shock. I quickly shut the door and press my back against it as I relive what I just experienced. My breathing becomes uneven. 

"No, no, no," I repeat to myself in a panicked whisper. "How could h--" I choke on my words. Empathy and disappointment wash over me as I try to understand the situation. I manage to crawl over to my bed and bury my head in my pillows. Part of me wonders why I feel so emotional about what I've seen, though I don't have an answer. Suddenly, there's a gentle knock at my door and I stop breathing completely. 

Shit. It's Zayn. He saw me. My panic rises. 

I hear the knock again, but I can't find words.

"Rae?" I hear a deep, soothing voice call as my door slowly opens. 

I exhale deeply, gasping for air, as Liam's comforting face appears from behind the door.

"Hey, what are you--" he interrupts himself, "Rae? What's wrong?" In an instant he's by my side looking into my wide eyes. "Rae? Say something. You look like you've just seen a ghost."

My lips part as I try to say something but I end up just shaking my head. 

Liam stills my head by placing his hands on each side of my face, and forces me to look into his eyes. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that."

"Zayn.." I mumble.

"Zayn?" He looks at me confused. "What about Zayn?"

I swallow and briefly close my eyes, preparing myself for what I'm about to say. 

"I just saw Zayn..." I pause. "He was with a girl.."

A look of disgust appears on Liam's face and he looks around the room awkwardly. 

I glance at him. "Not like that," I shake my head. "They were just kissing."

Liam's face relaxes. "Okay," he nods. "Sooo?" He looks at me expectantly.

I sigh. "It wasn't just any girl, Liam. He was kissing ...Eleanor." 

Liam's eyes swell in surprise. He is silent for a long moment before shaking his head. "No."

I nod.

"Like, thee Eleanor? Louis' Eleanor?"

I shrug, looking at my hands. "Looked like Zayn's Eleanor to me."

Liam shakes his head. "He wouldn't." He looks anxious. "No. Not Zayn."

I nod. "I'm surprised too," I whisper.

"No!" Liam shouts. 

I jump, surprised. "Liam.." I start.

"How could he?!" his eyes dart to meet mine. Without warning he's on his feet, pacing the room. Rage consumes him. "Fuck! Louis will never forgive him..." 

I remain silent. 

Liam walks around in circles, cursing under his breath. 

I close my eyes and think about how upset Louis has acted the last few times I've been around him. I think back to the first dinner I had here, where all Louis could do was talk highly of Eleanor. I think about how distressed he was the next night. I remember how troubled he looked when I brought her up at Garfunkel's. I am reminded of the constant look of worry that I see almost daily. 

Eventually, I speak. "Louis knew.... didn't he?" The question stops him in his tracks. 

"What?" Liam looks at me surprised.

"Louis knew Eleanor was cheating. Didn't he?" 

Liam pauses, staring at me. Eventually, he nods. "He's known for weeks.." He grits his teeth and I hear the bitterness in his voice. "But this... he could have never imagined." 

My heart sinks. 

***

About ten minutes pass before Liam finally calms down. The room is quiet as he makes his way over and lays next to me. I remain sitting, and begin brushing my fingers through his hair. 

I glance at my alarm clock. 8:00 PM. I look down to see Liam with his eyes closed, enjoying my touch. I smile slightly. He's so handsome. 

"So.. dinner?"

Liam hums as I continue to play with his hair. "They're still deciding."

"It's 8:00," I state. 

Liam shrugs. "I'm not hungry anymore." 

I frown, knowing the Zayn and Eleanor situation really upset him. "Liam.. what are we going to tell Louis?" I close my eyes in anticipation of upsetting him again. 

His eyes open, and I feel them land on me. "Nothing."

"Liam, he deserves to know. Plus, you're his best friend. He expects you to tell him the truth." 

I open my eyes to see him glaring at me. "I know.." he says defeated. I can tell it's eating him up inside. "Can we just give it a rest for now? I'll figure it out."

I nod, saying nothing more.

Liam sighs and sits up to stretch. "I suppose we should go find out what's going on downstairs." 

I nod again, keeping quiet.

He sighs. "Rae.." He grabs my chin. "I promise I'll figure it out." His piercing, caramel colored eyes burn into mine. He holds my gaze for a long moment before getting up and walking toward the door. 

"Okay," I accept and follow him downstairs. 

***

As we reach the bottom of the stairs we see everyone is occupied. Louis and Harry sit on the couch talking, whilst Gemma obliterates Niall at FIFA 25. 

I can hear Louis chuckling. "Gee, Niall. Your team's even shit at virtual football."

I try to keep from smiling as Niall shoots him a glare. He looks frustrated. Briefly, we make eye contact and he greets me with a small smile. However, within seconds, his eyes shoot to Liam and his smile is gone. 

My eyes dance around the room from face to face. No one seems to notice I was gone; Liam either, for that matter. I sigh, relieved. 

I follow Liam into the room, but stop and sit beside Louis, as Liam makes his way to his favorite chair. 

"Where have you been?" Louis asks the second I sit down. 

"Well hello to you too, Louis," I say a bit sarcastically.

Harry chuckles. "Get lost?"

I nod. "Kind of. I wasn't sure which room was Zayn's."

"Oh, right. Sorry," Harry responds, his forehead creasing as he frowns.

"No, big deal," I assure him, "Liam helped point me in the right direction."

Liam grins at the sound of his name.

"That's good." Harry's face relaxes. "What'd he say?"

"Oh." I pause. I forgot I went up there to ask him something. "Uh.." I think. "He was asleep. As usual." 

Harry nods. "Doesn't surprise me."

I nod and look over to see Niall has lost the game.

"Harry!" Gemma calls. "Come play. I need some real competition," she smirks as Niall glares in her direction.

"She's just saying that because she knows she can beat me too," Harry says to me as he rolls his eyes and gets up to join her. 

The moment Harry is gone Louis turns to me. "So.. Zayn was asleep, eh?" 

I pause, staring at him. "...Yeah..? Why?"

"Because Zayn entered the kitchen about ten minutes ago," Louis looks at me suspiciously.

I freeze. "Oh?.. Well.. he must have woken up."

Louis nods. "Right. Of course. My only question is where were you?" 

I stare at Louis, thinking as fast as I can for an explanation. "Bathroom," I state simply.

"Mhm." He doesn't believe me. "And Liam?"

I shrug. "Looking for me, I guess." He knows I'm lying. Fuck. 

Louis holds direct eye contact with me for several long seconds before he nods and let's it go. "Okay." He turns his head and begins watching the Styles siblings battle it out on the television. 

I exhale deeply. 

Moments later Zayn enters the room. I inhale sharply and avoid looking in his direction. 

"There you are, lazy. Good nap?" Harry comments, looking over his shoulder.

Zayn stares back, confused. "Uh... yeah." He realizes he doesn't have a better excuse. "You know me," he plays it off, "I'm happiest when I'm sleeping." He fakes a smile.

You're welcome, Zayn. I think to myself. I glance at Liam, but he's already looking at me. We're silent but I can tell we're wondering the same thing. Where did she go?

I continue gazing at Liam, blankly, as I think of all the possible ways she could have escaped without anyone seeing her, but am stopped by Louis's cold, piercing stare. His suspicion is apparent on his face. 

"S-something I can help you with?" I spit out.

He hesitates, soaking in my guilty expression. "Nope." He smirks. 

I swallow. I have enough things to worry about at the moment. I don't need another one.

***

Four hours pass and not a single person brings up the topic of food again. At this point, Gemma has defeated everyone in the room except Zayn and me at Fifa; and that's only because Zayn's too lazy to play, and Gemma's not sure enough about me to ask - which is completely fine with me because, to be honest, I really don't want to play. 

I sit in the same spot that I've been in for the last four hours listening to Niall explain what he did wrong in his last match with Gemma. I nod, occasionally yawning, pretending to understand every word he says. 

I glance around the room. On the other side of Niall sits Harry on his phone. From where I'm sitting he looks like he's texting. I get curious for a moment and then realize it's probably Rylee and roll my eyes. Zayn lays stretched out across the floor, balancing his head on his right hand as he watches Gemma and Louis fight to the death. Directly in front of me sits Louis and Gemma on the floor. Louis cusses under his breath because, once again, Gemma is winning. I honestly have no idea how one girl could be so good at this game. Just left of me is Liam, sitting in the same place he always is, fast asleep. I smile. He looks so peaceful. 

Finally the last match ends and I hear Louis scream, "Fuck!" through gritted teeth. Gemma throws her hands up in the air and lets out a high pitched victory scream which startles Liam awake. Harry, Gemma, and I burst into laughter as Liam tries catching his breath and glares at all of us. 

"Sorry," I mouth as everyone tries to calm down. He shakes his head and waves it off like it's no big deal. 

"I'm starving." Gemma half groans, half chuckles, still calming down from her laughing spree.

Everyone in the room groans in response. Gemma's words seem to remind them all of their empty stomachs.

"It's midnight," Louis complains.

"VQ's is open," Liam mentions.

VQ's. I repeat in my head. Never heard of it.

"I thought you didn't want to go out?" Harry chimes in.

"We didn't, but our options are limited now," Louis replies.

Harry nods. "Then is VQ's okay with everyone?"

I look at Liam and whisper. "What's VQ's?" 

"It's a diner," Liam turns to me. "It stands for 'Vingt Quatre.' You can get pretty much anything. Breakfast, burgers, pasta, and salads."

I nod approvingly. "Sounds good to me."

Louis, Niall, Zayn, and Gemma all nod in agreement.

"Then let's go." Harry urges, and everyone jumps up, grabs their coats, and heads for the car.

***

We return to the house in better moods than when we left. Niall's obnoxious laugh echoes in the night as we all make our way through the front door. Harry blushes as Gemma continues on about his embarrassing moments from his childhood. I listen intently, soaking in every word she says, laughing almost unavoidably. Liam watches me from a far, humored by my interest in Gemma's stories. Of course, he has heard them all before. Louis lingers around Harry taking every opportunity he can get to make fun of him. Harry rolls his eyes, and yet I can tell he's pleased with the way everyone is getting along. Honestly, I'm quite surprised myself. Gemma's great. In fact, I look forward to the next time I see her. 

It's not long after we get home before we start to disperse. I glance at my phone and see it's pushing two o'clock in the morning. I yawn, watching as Zayn and Louis say their goodbyes to Gemma and head upstairs. Niall and Liam start after them but not before they hug everyone in the room first. I watch as Liam goes from Gemma to Harry to me, hugging us each tightly. Niall, finding this act to be absolutely hilarious, follows, chuckling as he hugs each of us. However, I can tell by the small smirk on Liam's face that he's not doing this to get a laugh, he's doing this so he can hug me in front of Harry and not get in trouble for it. Gemma smiles, accepting each goodbye hug without question. Though, Harry stands confused, giving each of them questioning looks. I shake my head as Liam approaches me with open arms.

"See you soon," he whispers, almost as if it was a question, but I know it's not.

"Goodnight, Liam," I state loudly as he pulls away, the smirk on his face growing ever so slightly. 

Suddenly, I feel Niall's arms wrap around me, his deep Irish accent ringing in my ear.

"Goodnight, Rae!" he practically shouts. I cringe. 

"Goodnight, Niall," I reply softly, shaking my head.

Eventually he let's me go and follows Liam up the stairs. Several moments of silence pass as I'm left alone with Gemma and Harry. By this point, Gemma no longer intimidates me, and I've learned to put up with Harry, so the situation isn't as awkward as it would have been a couple hours ago. I turn to Gemma feeling like I should say something but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. 

"It was really nice meeting you, Raegan," Gemma speaks for me. 

"You too," I say, returning her smile. "I didn't even know Harry had a sister," I add, giving no thought to what I was setting myself up for. 

"I didn't know Harry had a daughter," she replies automatically. 

I bite the inside of my cheek and look down at my feet as the room goes silent. I glance up at Harry and in a matter of seconds his expression goes from 'happy the family is together' to 'I'm gonna be sick.' I'm sure two minutes pass before anyone speaks again.

"I'm sorry," Gemma finally says. "I-I didn't mean that to be offensive."

I shake my head. "N-no, don't worry about it," I reply instantaneously. "There's a lot of things that were kept from both of us." There's an unexpected hint of frustration in my voice that even I'm surprised by. 

Once again the room is silent. So quiet, in fact, that I can hear Harry swallow. This time, however, only a few seconds pass before Gemma speaks up.

"Yes, well.. it's all in the past now, right? I have a niece. That's exciting," Gemma says, trying to lighten the mood.

I nod, desperate for the tension to go away. "Very exciting."

Gemma smiles. "Well, I should be going then. Quite the drive home." 

"Y-you're not staying Gem?" Harry finally speaks, his voice hoarse. 

"No, I've had enough of you boys to last me the rest of the year. By the way, you all really need to work on your footie skills," she jokes and Harry rolls his eyes. 

"I hope to see you soon, Raegan," Gemma says taking a couple steps toward me. "Don't let all these boys get to you," she smiles, hugging me. "If you ever need a breath of 'testosterone free' air, give me a ring."

Once more, Harry rolls his eyes. "We're not that bad, Gem," he whines.

"Whatever you say, Harold," Gemma says, shooting me a look. I laugh. 

I stay put as Harry walks Gemma out giving her a final hug goodbye.

"Don't be a stranger, sis!" He yells after her before shutting the door and turning to me.

"So what'd you think?" he asks.

"Of Gemma? She hilarious." Harry smiles. "I've got to have the coolest aunt in the world." I freeze realizing what I just said. Harry looks at me for a long moment, but before I can correct myself he cracks a smile, brighter than ever.

"I'm glad you feel that way," he says, and I can tell I've made his week. 

I smile back, nodding. Shit. I think to myself. Why in the world did I just say that? To Harry of all people? He better not expect me to start calling him dad. I mentally gag at the thought. 

"Well," I say, faking a yawn. "I should probably get to bed." 

Harry nods. "Goodnight, Rae." He smiles softly and takes a step toward me. I eye him suspiciously and watch as he lifts his arms as if he's going to hug me. I feel my eyes swell as I realize that that is his exact intention and make a break for the stairs. 

"See you tomorrow," I smile and disappear as fast as I can. Once I reach the top of the stairs, I quickly glance back and instantly wish I hadn't. 

I watch as Harry's arms slowly drop to his sides, the expression on his face is almost devastating. He stands silently for what feels like minutes before finally stepping in the direction of the stairs. I watch as he takes a deep breath, and runs both of his hands through his curly hair. 

I find myself frowning as I stand at the top of the stairs. I almost feel bad for him. Though, I do my best to shake the thought away reminding myself that he doesn't deserve my sympathy, and run toward my room before he reaches the stairs. 

As I reach my room, I shut the door behind me, not wanting to see Harry pass by. I stand facing the closed door, feeling an uncomfortable pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I shake my head again, but the feeling's don't go away. I sigh, taking the biggest breath I can manage before turning around and letting out a blood-curling scream. 

Liam, who was laying on my bed moments ago, probably to surprise me, is now standing in front of me, his eyes wide. Oh, no. What have I done? I close my eyes knowing that I had attracted attention. 

"Shhhhh. Rae, calm down. It's just me. I'm so s-" he mutters nervously but is cut off by the door swinging open.

I freeze, not daring to look at the face that just entered my room. I stare horrified into Liam's eyes as he stares past me with the same expression. This is it, I tell myself. This is the moment Liam and I are exposed. My heart begins beating rapidly. What's going to happen, now? Will I be kicked out? Will Liam be kicked out? What will Harry say? Did I ruin everything? I can't breathe. I haven't even been here that long. How could I have already messed everything up? I feel tears swelling in my eyes as panic takes over me. 

"Is everything okay in here?" I hear a native Bradford accent say a bit too calmly. I breathe a sigh of relief. It's Zayn. Oh thank God, it's Zayn! 

Moments later the three remaining boys gather behind him asking the same questions, worried expressions plastered on each of their faces. However, before any of them reach the door, Liam repositions himself as if he'd just walked into the room as well. 

"I-I'm fine." I finally spit out, almost gasping for air. "Just a little startled.. t-that's all."

"By what?" Harry asks urgently, no longer sad, but concerned.

"Uh.." I think as fast as I can but can only come up with one excuse. "..a spider.." I say, realizing that's the lamest possible excuse. Even I know my scream was one of pure terror. Freddy Krueger would have been a better excuse. "I really hate spiders," I lie. To be completely honest I'm not scared of spiders at all. 

Almost simultaneously all of the boys, except Liam of course, sigh and roll their eyes. 

"Really, Rae? A spider? You almost gave us all a heart attack!" Niall says, his eyes wide and his breathing uneven.

"I know.. I know. I'm sorry," I bite my lip. "I just figured.. with a house this nice... spiders were practically non existent.." Wait. What? Why did I say that? 

They groan in unison. "Even pop stars get spiders, Rae." Louis spits, sarcastically. I don't think Louis believes a word I've said. In fact I watch as his eyes dance around the room and land on Liam, standing just in front of Zayn. 

"Noted," I smile weakly, hoping he says nothing more. Thankfully, they all turn and head in separate directions. All except Liam and Zayn who stick around a moment longer. 

I stare at Zayn overwhelmed by an abundance of different emotions: anger, confusion, but mostly gratitude.

I open my mouth to say something, but before I can get anything out Zayn speaks.

"I'd be a little more careful if I were you, mate. I don't think Harry would be too thrilled to find out you're making his sweet, little daughter scream." He winks at Liam and then disappears. Liam's face turns bright red, first from embarrassment and then to pure anger at the sound of his words. However, he only watches as Zayn leaves. 

I stand silently as Liam turns to me. We look at each other, but say nothing for a good minute. I watch as the color returns to Liam's face. 

Liam backs up a step, slowly shutting the door, though he keeps my eye contact making sure I wan't the door shut. I nod.

Once it's shut, Liam approaches me cautiously. "I really am sorry.." he whispers. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I nod. "Liam, it's fine. You can stop treating me like a bomb. I'm not angry with you. I was just startled. Girls tend to scream when they're startled." Liam breathes out deeply and immediately closes the space between us, wrapping his arms around me. I hug back, but roll my eyes. "I'm fine. Really." He remains silent and doesn't attempt to move. I begin to bury my face in his neck, but jump back as my mind replays what just happened. 

"Zayn?" I say, staring at him in confusion.

He nods, understanding what I mean despite my lack of words. "I have no idea.." 

"So he knows..." I breathe in sharply as I think about the other day in the living room after Liam and Louis came back from their day of "football." I was sure then that Zayn had heard Liam and I's conversation but chose to ignore it. I bite my lip. "Do you think he'll tell?" I ask, worried.

Liam pauses but shakes his head. "No-- no, I don't think so." He seems unsure, but I choose to believe him anyway. I close my eyes, relieved. "But..." Liam starts, "there's no way we can tell Louis what we know now."

Instantly my eyes are open. "Liam-" I begin to protest.

"Raegan, if we rat Zayn out, he'll rat us out." His voice is stern, his eyes piercing mine. 

"But Liam," I argue, "what Zayn is doing is wrong." 

"And in Harry's eyes this is wrong too," he shoots back in no time at all, gesturing to us.

I fall back on my bed at a loss for words. My stomach churns at the thought of keeping this information from Louis, but there's no denying that Liam's right. If we tell on Zayn, Zayn will tell on us. I feel nauseous. Liam approaches me once again and before I can process what's happening I'm laying on his chest on top of my bed. I focus on his breathing as his chest rises and falls, trying to distract myself from the countless thoughts that run through my mind. My fingers intertwine with his and I close my eyes as his breathing slows. In minutes, I drift to sleep. Though just as I drift off into unconsciousness, just as I finally feel a sense of peace, my mind goes to that dark place I try so hard to avoid and the anxiety sinks in. My nightmares that I thought I had left behind, the same ones I repeatedly had after my mother's death, resurface, and I am left victim to them.


	21. Bruised

I wake up the next morning to find the bed empty beside me. There's a Liam sized spot still imprinted in the sheets, so I know hasn't been gone long. I smile softly to myself. Things with Liam have been happening so fast. From the moment he admitted his feelings for me, and vice versa, we've been practically inseparable. I stand, shaking my thoughts of Liam from my mind, but it doesn't do me any good. He's the only one who's been there for me since I lost everything. From the day I showed up on their doorstep, to this very moment, Liam's always been there. Sure, he was an ass for a couple weeks, but he had good intentions, I suppose. Regardless, I don't know what I'd do without him.

I stretch my arms up above my head and let out a deep yawn. I feel well rested despite the chaos that happened yesterday. Thunder sounds, making me jump, and light flashes across the room. I creep over to my window and peer out. Rain. Of course. When is it not raining here? Something's different though. The rain is harsher. The skies are dark and the wind is howling. This is more than rain, this is a storm. I wrap my arms around my body, suddenly feeling cold. There's something chilling about the air despite the 80 degree temperature that fills the room. I decide to shower before I make my way downstairs to face the house full of boys.

As I'm rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, however, I hear a loud crash and a deep growling voice that follows. I can't make out what the voice says, but it's enough to scare me out of the shower and into the closest thing I can find. As I make my way down the stairs, wearing nothing but a jumper and some running shorts, the lighting flashes through the room again, this time taking the lights with it. It's dark as I reach the bottom of the stairs, but that doesn't seem to have any effect on the scene playing out in front of me.

"Harry, calm down.." I hear a deep Irish accent warn.

"Get the fuck out," what I can only assume to be Harry growls.

"Har-"

"OUT." He interrupts. Harry's voice is stern, but he's not shouting. It's menacing, really, how he manages to sound so angry without raising his voice.

I step forward confused. What could Niall have possibly done to have his best friend order him out of the house, into the harsh storm.

"Harry?" I begin to say, but my sound is drowned out by the intensity in the room. "What's go—" I'm cut off by a flash of lightening momentarily lighting the room. It is then I realize Harry is not yelling at Niall, but another one of his best friends: Liam.

My brow furrows as I try to make sense of the situation. With each flash of lightening I am able to decipher something new. First I notice Liam. He's at the door, bags at his feet. A small ring of purple and brown line is left eye, and there are cuts on his lips. I swallow as I notice the broken glass on the floor only feet away from him; and I choke when I see matching cuts on Harry's fist.

"What the fuck?" I shout, though it comes out as a whisper.

"Liam!" I try again, this time making my presence known. Lightening flashes again and I am hit with different colored stares from all around the room. My eyes first connect to Niall's. His piercing blue eyes are cold; empty, broken, but alert. Next my eyes meet Harry's. The usually soft, bright emerald color is now a dark forest green, not far from black. His expression is stern and when he looks at me he somehow seems to get angrier. His brow bone shadows his eyes, making them even harder to read. The look he's giving me makes my skin crawl so I advert my eyes as fast as I can. Though I wish I wouldn't have.

Staring at a livid Harry is a dream compared to what I see next. My eyes finally land on what they were searching for all along. Shining, caramel colored eyes that can only belong to the boy I care so much about, but they are not what I expected to see. A hallow, haunting version of what Liam's eyes once might have been lies under my gaze. Glossy, hopeless hints of brown. Regret, sorrow, and pain disfigure his face and the remaining warmth leaves my body.

"Rae.. I am so sorry," he mouths, but the ringing in my ears drowns out any sound that he may have made.

I stare blankly. Blinking through the tears that have began filling my eyes. "W-what's going on?!" I scream, but I already know the answer.

"I am so sorry," he repeats, almost robotically.

"You can't do this is!" I sob, directing my attention to Harry. "It's not his fault, it's mine!" Harry doesn't falter.

"I will not tell you again. Get the fuck out of my house," he spits, ignoring me altogether.

The last thing I see is Liam nod in defeat, and step out into the hellish storm.

As the door clicks shut, I land on my knees, the sound of my bones hitting the hard wood floor imitating the claps of thunder heard outside. I scream, louder than I thought possible, out of both physical and emotional pain. I let the rest of my body follow my knees, and the next thing I know, I'm alone, lying face down on the floor, screaming his name.

***

"Rae! Jesus Christ! Raegan!" My name echoes in the back of my ears, getting louder, clearer by the second. "Raegan, for God's sake, wake up!" My eyes open and immediately connect with familiar caramel ones. Liam's staring down at me, eyes wide and lips parted. Worry covers his face and he looks as if he doesn't recognize me.

"Liam?" I gasp, almost choking on the words.

"Who the hell else would it be?" He looks back, concerned. His muscles are tense. I can see a vein pulsing from his neck, strained from clenching his jaw. He has one hand on my arm and though I feel like he's about to break it, it's comforting.

"Oh thank God.." I exhale, wiping a mess of sweat and tears from my face. I sit up and wrap my arms tightly around Liam, but he doesn't hug me back.

"What the fuck was that, Raegan?" he asks, frightened. He hasn't moved from his initial position and some other emotion seems to be lining his voice. But what? Sorrow? Anger?

I swallow and think about what I'm going to say. If I tell him the details of the dream he'll think I'm still obsessing over the possibility of Harry finding out about us. Which, I totally am, but it'll just stress Liam out more if he thinks I'm having doubts and we both have enough to stress about right now. "Bad dream is all. I'm okay now." I tighten my grip around him, speaking into his neck. He still does't move.

I pull back momentarily to look at him. His left brow rises, the rest of his face remaining unchanged. "Care to share?"

He continues to stare in disbelief as I look for an answer. I shake my head. "I rather not relive it. Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?!" he coughs. Yep, now he's angry. I remove myself from him as he raises his voice. "You almost gave me a heart attack! You almost had a heart attack! What exactly should I not be worried about?"

"It was a bad dream, Liam." I defend myself. "A-about my mom." I lie. "You know I have those sometimes. I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

He softens immediately as the word "mom" escapes my lips. "O-oh. I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," I say, relieved he's dropped the subject. "Now will you hug me back?"

He nods, still shaken up and folds his arms around me tight. "Are you okay?" he whispers after a few moments.

"Yeah, I'm great now," I say as I hold on to him tighter.

I feel him exhale, relieved that I'm okay.

Minutes pass and I don't let him go. I just sit in his arms, inhaling his scent and listening to him breathe. I can feel his abdominal muscles contracting every time he breathes in, constantly reminding me that he's still here. He doesn't seem to mind because he hasn't made any attempt to move or say anything.

***

"Raegan? Rae, I got to go. Sun's coming up," I hear a deep, yet incredibly soft voice say.

"Hmm?" I mumble, unsure of where I am.

"Sun's almost up. Harry wakes up early. I've got to go back to my room."

My eyes open unwillingly and I immediately see Liam's staring back at me. I'm lying on top of him, his arms still around me. I realize that I must have fallen asleep in his grip. I frown as realization hits. "Don't go."

He mirrors my frown. "I don't want to. Believe me, I don't want to. But if for some reason Harry needs me and I'm not in my room, he'll be suspicious. Or if he needs you and I am in your room...well--"

"I know," I whine, burying my face in his t-shirt. I feel his hand across my back softly running up and down.

"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be," he laughs softly as if he's whispering.

I say nothing, pulling myself up further, wrapping my arms around his neck and hiding my face in-between his shoulder and neck. I curl my legs up underneath me, until I'm practically a ball on Liam's chest.

"Raegan..." he whines because he doesn't want to leave.

"Five more minutes," I whisper, and Liam stops resisting and holds me tight.

"You make leaving impossible," he whispers after awhile.

I smile against his skin, and say nothing, enjoying the few minutes I have left with him. However, time passes too quickly.

"Okay, times up. I have to go."

"That was not five minutes," I frown, not moving.

"You're right. It was six. Now let me go."

I lift my head, staring him directly in the face as I continue to frown. He just smiles and apologizes some more. I'm finally about to release him when a hand reaches the back of my head and brings me down for a kiss. His lips are so soft, it's almost painful to stop. So I don't. As he begins to pull back, I kiss him again, just as softly and before I know it neither of us are pulling back. Minutes go by without falter and it isn't until we hear footsteps in the hallway that finally tears us apart.

We pull back simultaneously and stare at each other, panicked.

I jump off Liam and head for the door, pulling it open just enough to see who's out there. Thankfully the doors here are all new enough that they don't squeak. I peer into the hallway and catch the tip of Louis's head as he makes his way down the stairs. Quietly I shut the door and sigh in relief, looking back at the mortified Liam on the bed.

"It's okay. It was only Louis." I exhale, relieved.

Liam closes his eyes momentarily to gather himself and jumps up, heading for the door.

He says nothing as he passes by me, just looks at me on his way out. Emotions of all kind play out across his face. Frustration, fear, adoration, and... something I'm not quite sure of. His eyes are hooded as he looks at me one final time and leaves the room.

I stand by the door staring at it for a quite some time before I run a hand through my hair and decide to go back to bed. My stomach flutters as I think about kissing Liam and before I know it, I'm asleep and it's all I'm dreaming about.

***

I don't officially wake up until almost noon. I surprise myself at how well I slept for being woken up so many times this morning. I yawn and stretch as I reach for my phone, where I find many texts from none other than Liam. I scroll through, smiling at the thought of him.

9:07 AM "Good morning :)

9:32 AM "You going to get up today?"

9:45 AM "Wake up. I miss your face."

10:24 AM "Everything okay up there? Still alive, right?"

11:30 AM "IM SO BORED"

11:52 ":( please wake up"

I smile and roll my eyes, and text him back.

11:57 AM "I am awake and alive. I miss your face too. But I don't want go get up." He texts back almost instantaneously.

11:57 AM "But I miss you so much."

11:58 AM "I miss you too. But I also am very warm and comfortable. Why don't you come upstairs?"

12:00 PM "Sorry, Niall was rambling about football. I would love to, but wouldn't that be suspicious?"

12:02 PM "Yes, very. But I just want to stay here and watch Netflix."

12:02 PM "Currently imagining laying in bed with you all day and watching Netflix and it makes my chest hurt."

12:02 PM "=)"

Minutes pass as I consider going downstairs, but every time I think I'm ready to get up, I get more comfortable. Nope. Not yet.

12:06 PM "I can't stop thinking about kissing you this morning."

I blush.

12:08 PM "Me either"

12:09 PM "I want to do it again"

My cheeks get even redder. 12:10 PM "Me too."

12:15 PM "So are you ever coming down here?"

12:17 PM "I GUESS. I'll be down in a minute."

12:18 ":D"

I set my phone down and sigh loudly as I force myself out of bed. I run my fingers through my hair and pull a jumper over my t-shirt and decide that pajama pants are fine for today. Unwillingly I make my way downstairs and plop down on the couch. I'm greeted with a cheerful, Irish, "Good morning, lazy-ass!" and a bright "thank you for finally dragging yourself down here" smile from Liam. I glare at both of them and say nothing.

"Nice pants." Niall smirks staring at my pajama pants that happen to be covered in different kinds of dogs.

"Thanks," I reply dryly. "Nice face."

Niall laughs, and Liam follows. Both of them seem to find my lazy demeanor hilarious.

"So.." I say expectantly.

"So...?" Niall repeats and Liam looks at me confused.

"Entertain me." I say staring back with tired eyes.

Niall laughs again and nods. "Okay. Well what do you want to do? The footie match is almost over, and then I'm yours."

"Hmm. Wonderful." I say sarcastically. "What is there to do? I ask pessimistically. "All we ever do is watch 'footie'." I mock.

"I see no problem with that!" Niall fires back. I roll my eyes, and Liam is all smiles. He is in a really good mood for some reason.

"I've got an idea." Niall eventually states. I look at him expectantly, but instead of telling me, he turns to Liam and whispers in his ear.

"Hey now, no secrets." I grumble, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, but they just ignore me.

"Could be fun," Liam shrugs. "Should we invite the others?"

"Invite? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Do I look like I'm in any shape to leave the house?"

Liam grins wider, and Niall chuckles. "Looks like you better hit the showers, love." Liam says, fondly.

I groan, starring at them for a significant period of time. "Really guys?" I say exasperated.

"You better hurry," Niall smirks. "We'll leave without you."

"What a shame," I groan, and drag myself up the stairs and toward my room.

***

I return from upstairs, freshly showered, wearing a pair of jean shorts and an oversized flannel, a loose tank tucked underneath it. Just the right amount of warm, and cool to satisfy the unpredictable London weather. I never know if I'm going to get wet or sunburnt. When I jump off the bottom step, I see all fiv-er..-four boys sitting in the living room.

"No Zayn?" I ask, approaching them.

"Couldn't get his lazy ass out of bed," Niall comments.

I nod. Typical. I briefly wonder if Eleanor is up there with him, and that's the reason he won't leave. My body starts heating up, but I shake it off. Not now, Rae. Not now. "So... where are we going?"

All four boys smile and stand. Each of them head toward the door, saying nothing. Niall waits, making sure I get out the door behind them. "After you." He smirks.

For what feels like the 50th time, I roll my eyes and groan, not actually minding where we go. Knowing, however, that Niall gets a kick out of my frustration. Once all piled into the Audi— Niall driving, Harry passenger, and me stuck between Liam and Louis — Niall mentions it'll be about 30 minutes through London traffic to get to our destination. I complain some more, humoring them, but it isn't long before conversation picks up in the car.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. I have questions about this whole boy band thing." I say after Louis shares a funny memory from a past tour.

"Fire away." Louis challenges me.

I think, choosing my questions wisely. I decide to go with the questions that make the least sense to me. "Okay, so... to be honest I was doing some research. Ya know, seeing what dirt I could find on you guys, when the name Larry Stylinson kept showing up. Who is this Larry guy? And why is he so important?"

Without missing a beat, the car erupts in different emotions. Niall falls into a fit of laughter that is so intense I can see him closing his eyes in the rearview mirror. Liam about chokes on the question and Louis pales instantly. I see Harry stiffen in the front seat, but no one says anything at all.

"Interesting," I mutter after a minute passes and no one tries to speak up. Niall's laughter has finally ceased and Liam has fully recovered from his coughing fit. Most everyone seems to still be uncomfortable, aside from Niall who is prompting the question.

"Yeah guys. Who is Larry?" Niall chuckles some more. "And why we're at it, what's a Ziam?" Niall about cries, holding back his intense laughter.

"Niall, you fucker," Liam curses, and I look around confused.

Liam sighs, and begins to speak. "Right well, Larry—" he starts, but Louis cuts him off.

"Larry is some bullshit story fans made up where me and Harry were...I don't know, together or something." I see Louis and Harry make eye contact briefly through the rearview mirror and you can tell they both do not want to talk about the subject.

"Wait, so people thought you and Harry were.. dating? Like for real?" I push.

"Mhmm." Harry mumbles uncomfortably. "We weren't though," he clarifies.

"Uh.. okay.." I say, confused and uncomfortable. "And ...Ziam?" I say, looking at Liam, catching onto the names.

"Yeah.. me and Zayn," Liam sighs. "Also not true, for future reference. The fans just thought that--or I guess, wanted us to all have some kind of secret relationship with each other. There were name's for all of us. Larry, Lirry, Ziall, Ziam, Niam? hell I don't know. Entertained them I guess."

I nod. "Oh. Sorry for asking. I had no idea what it meant, let alone the effect it had on each of you." I apologize looking at the floor.

"S'okay." Louis responds casually, though there is fire in his eyes. "Not a big deal, we're just tired of hearing about it at this point. Shit, it's probably still talked about today."

"Crazy, what peoples imaginations can come up with," I say, trying to relieve some of the tension.

"Yeah, crazy." Niall chuckles sinisterly to himself.

I look up into the rearview mirror, only to see Louis glaring at Niall, Niall looking guilty as ever.

The next few minutes are spent in silence, though it is quickly broken, Harry finally speaking up.

"So... how far exactly did you get into that Larry stuff, before you stopped and decided to ask us?..." he asks cautiously. Something else lines his voice... panic? Maybe?

"Hmm.. not far. Why?"

Almost simultaneously every one in the car sighs in relief, as if they were holding their breath all this time.

"Don't worry about it. Just never look into it, ever again."

"Okay, but—"

"Never."

***

It's not but five minutes later when we reach our destination. Louis had started on another funny memory they shared on tour, and I'm glad for he seems far less stressed talking about the shit he got into with Zayn and Liam, compared to answering my unsettling questions.

"--and then it just became this massive war. Gatorade everywhere. Liam and I were both soaked to shit. I think-yeah- I think we were both wearing white too. It was a bloody fucking mess." Louis breaks into a huge grin, finishing his story.

"Fun times," Liam smiles, fond of the memory. I actually love listening to them talk about their times on tour. They tell these stories like they just happened yesterday, and they haven't aged a bit.

"Well, we're here." Niall says, a moment later.

I look up to see "London Zoo" in big green letters.

"A zoo?" I say, no sign of excitement in my voice.

"The London Zoo." Liam smiles.

"The oldest scientific zoo in the world," Harry adds. What a nerd.

"Fascinating," I say, sounding less than thrilled, but actually really excited.

"It'll be fun," Liam grins, squinting his eyes, and I can't resist any longer.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I shrug.

The boys all make some kind of noise and pile out of the car. Who knew four thirty-something year old men could be this excited about the zoo?

***

The day is long, but incredibly entertaining. None of the boys can agree on one animal to start on so, consequently everyone breaks into separate groups. I start out with Niall and Louis, silently promising Liam I'll catch up with him later. He and Harry head off in separate directions, and it's then I realize it will be a long day, just trying to get them all back into the same place. Louis and Niall go straight to the monkeys without a second thought, both fascinated, though I'm sure they've seen every one of them a hundred times. I watch, gleefully, more entertained by Louis and Niall's fascination than the monkeys themselves. After what seems like 40 different monkey exhibits, I see Harry walking around by the aquarium, and though I wouldn't normally be willing to spend alone time with Harry, I'm desperate to get away from all of the monkeys.

He sees me approaching and instantly brightens up, as if my presence really means that much to him. I roll my eyes internally.

"Hey! Having a good time?" he asks, and I nod.

"I am, actually. I had to get away from those monkeys though, and I'm not just talking about Louis and Niall." I smile.

Harry laughs genuinely at my sad attempt at a joke, which then makes me laugh a bit too. He tells me he's just about to venture into the aquarium and asks me if I'd like to join. After a brief, and hopefully unnoticed glance around, I agree, seeing no Liam in sight. Surprisingly Harry and I end up walking through half the zoo together, laughing and making up background stories and situations for all the animals we see. By the time I see Liam, I am having such a good time that I actually have forgotten who I'm spending time with. However, when I do spot Liam, I am quick to break away. With a smile, and a "I'll see you in a little while!" I leave Harry abruptly, and run off with Liam. The first 15 minutes Liam and I are reunited, I catch myself going on and on about the situations Harry and I made up for all the animals. Half the time not finishing what I'm saying because I'm laughing so hard. Liam nods along, intrigued, though I know I'm not making any sense. I know he's just glad that I got along with Harry for so long, though he doesn't say anything to suggest it, and I really appreciate it.

We eventually find ourselves in 'Butterfly Paradise' which is apparently a super lame exhibit, judging by the fact that no one is here. There's traces of a young boy and his mom who are a few yards in front of us, but seem to be moving quickly throughout the exhibit-- the boy bored with the butterflies. Personally, I think the exhibit is really pretty and I'm very thankful that no else seems interested in it. It's the only silent part of the whole zoo and it gives me a chance to be completely alone with Liam. Once sure no one else is around, Liam and I join hands and slowly make our way through the surprisingly big exhibit. Who knew there were so many butterflies? We linger in each room, giving little thought to the butterflies themselves, but really just enjoying each other's company. Half way through, we find a bench facing a large, green area, butterflies roaming freely. We stop and sit, Liam's arm around my shoulders, and me leaning against his side.

"Better than laying in bed all day?" He asks, leaning his head against mine.

"Debatable," I smile, and look up at him. "I wouldn't be sweating this much in my air conditioned room."

"So sorry, princess," Liam mocks. "My how you have adjusted to the 'high class life,'" he teases some more.

"Hate to break it to you, sweet heart, but us middle class folk have air conditioning too," I roll my eyes, and he laughs.

We sit laughing, wrapped in each others arms, before it's silent and we can hear each other breathing. I look up at him once more, and he's already making a move for my lips. Soon, I'm captured under his lips, showing no sign of stopping. The kiss is long, and slow, making every nerve on my body stand up. His tongue enters my mouth, exploring it like he's never kissed me before, and I don't think it'll ever end. I don't want it to. Eventually however, it does, and we make our way through the rest of the exhibits, hand in hand, when we can.

The very last stop is the tiger exhibit — my favorite exhibit, and surprisingly enough everyone meets there at around the same time. We enjoy walking through the exhibit together, Harry and I still playing our silly games. We stop in the gift shop, briefly where Liam buys me a tiger stuffed animal, despite my refusal. He tells me it is my birthday present and that I cannot refuse or he will be emotionally wounded. I sigh in defeat, grateful for the kind gesture, knowing that whether my birthday was coming up, or not, Liam would have still given me the gift. I'm exhausted by the time we all pack in the car. We decide to grab dinner somewhere, just as it's getting dark, and then head back. The restaurant Niall and Louis picked was a bit of a drive, so the journey home is even longer than before. I don't mind however, because as expected, I am soon fast asleep, against Liam's shoulder, my hand clasped tightly in his, hidden under the tiger he bought me.

***

We finally get home around 11:00, with me waking up just five minutes before we enter the driveway. I rub my eyes, and look up at Liam, who couldn't be more excited to be home. We both have had a great day, but I know he is just excited that we finally get to just lay in bed and be together again. I find myself being equally excited and tell the boys that I've had a long day and that I'm going straight to bed. They don't argue and before long, I'm safely tucked away under my covers. Waiting. Just over an hour passes before my door opens and Liam enters the room.

"Sorry, wanted to make sure everyone was done with me tonight."

"Done with you?" I ask.

"Yeah. Told 'em I was exhausted and that if anyone of them needed me for anything than they better wait until morning or they wouldn't be happy with me."

I laugh. "Well done." Liam smiles and makes his way over to my bed.

"So, are you actually tired or do you want to lay around and watch something?"

"Honestly, I'm exhausted, but I would love to just lay here and binge-watch Netflix with you. Just don't be mad if I fall asleep."

"Deal." he smiles.

I pick up my computer off the nightstand and click through shows and shows before we finally agree on Friends. We both have seen every episode at least a thousand times so we agreed it's a good show to fall asleep to. At least then we won't miss anything. I get comfortable and Liam does the same, laying behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He presses a gentle kiss to the back of my neck and I realize why he was so excited to come to bed. My stomach flutters, but I decide to ignore it. Instead we end up watching four episodes of Friends, making me reach ultimate exhaustion. The fifth episode begins playing and I think Liam's finally fell asleep when I feel lips press to the back of my neck. I smile, getting ready to turn around when they don't stop. Repeatedly Liam presses his lips to my skin, lingering a little longer each time. He works his way up to my jaw, and back down to my collarbone. I'm completely relaxed and yet frozen at the same time. Sucking face with Brent Richardson never went this direction. My stomach's doing flips and though something is telling me to stop him, I don't. It feels... well, amazing. Liam's hand roams up and down my side as he continues to kiss my neck. He suddenly stops in one place and when I open my mouth to tell him not to stop, he begins sucking. My eyes roll back into my head, never having felt this way before, and a moan escapes my mouth. I jump, surprising myself and cover my mouth embarrassed. I turn my body, facing Liam, red as a brick. Liam smiles softly, his eyes hooded like they were this morning.

"It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. That's a good sound."

I stare at him wide eyed, feeling as if I'm going to explode. The heat, not only in my cheeks, but suddenly all over my body is making me melt and all I can do is look at him, embarrassed.

"Really, it's okay," he says, removing my hand from my mouth and resting it at my side. I nod, trying to calm down, but it doesn't seem to be working. "I want to hear it again," he says and again my body is fire.

In one motion he pulls me close and attaches himself to my neck. His tongue circles the area before he begins sucking and when he does... I'm gone. Soft whimpers and subtle moans begin falling out of my mouth and with each one Liam seems to make it feel better. I close my eyes and when I open them again, I see a worried Liam.

"Fuck." He grits his teeth, staring at my neck.

"W-what?" I panic. "Did I do something wrong?"

He shakes his head angrily. "No, I did. I left a mark."

I stare at him confused. "You what?"

"I left a mark. On your neck. I was trying to be gentle enough not too, but I got carried away and— fuck. Rae, I gave you a hickey."

A hickey?! I'm instantly reminded of high school back in Colorado. Janet Sanders always had hickeys covering her neck. Everyone called her a slut. I jump up and flick on the light, temporarily blinding Liam and stare in the mirror. My eyes go wide as I stare at a big purple mark right in the center of my neck. Oh God no.

I look at Liam, panicking. "How am I supposed to hide this?!"

Liam winces at the tone of my voice. "I-I don't know, Rae. I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? It's been like what? Two days since we agreed to let this—" I point to Liam and then myself - "happen and you've already exposed us!"

His frown deepens. He can tell I'm pissed. "Just tell them it was your curling iron or something."

I laugh mockingly. "Good plan, Liam. Except I don't curl my hair. It is naturally curly! And plus, no curling iron, or straightener for that matter, could burn me this big, especially to the point of turning purple, without it looking intentional! This is obviously a hickey!"

"Okay, okay! Look, I"m sorry! I just got caught up. I should have known better. We can figure something out. Please don't be mad at me.."

I glare at him saying nothing more. The once amazing feeling of Liam kissing my neck is replaced with a bruise that's painful to the touch. And I can't stop touching it. I flick the light of, put my computer away and crawl back into bed saying noting to Liam. He continues to apologize and tries to wrap himself around me, but I put my hand up, stopping him. He frowns, getting the message and leaves me alone the rest of the night.

***

When I wake up the next morning, Liam is gone. The side of the bed he has recently taken to is cold, so I know he's been gone for awhile. I wonder briefly if he's been gone all night. I frown, but the tender spot on my neck reminds me that I'm mad at him. I glance at the clock to see that it's still early. Considering how late I stayed up I am surprised I'm awake this early, however the stress of possibly being exposed makes it impossible for me to go back to sleep. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, racking my brain for some possible explanation why I would have a big bruise on my neck, and how I would have gotten it between 12 AM and 8 AM. My options are limited. I consider admitting that it's a hickey and creating some fake boyfriend of mine that I let in the house when everyone went to bed, but after minimal thought realize that that may be a worse idea than admitting it was Liam. —Actually no, there is no worse idea than admitting it was Liam. I sigh and decide to go take a shower. After 20 minutes or so of soaking in self pity, I decide to get out and try my best to cover the large bruise with make up. I silently hope that even if I can't cover it up completely, that my long curls will provide me with enough camouflage to get through the day. An hour or so passes as I mess with make up and hairstyles that hide my neck, when finally I decide to just avoid everyone in the house as much as possible. However, as I come to this decision, my stomach growls and I realize I will have to face the kitchen at least two or three times today. I inhale sharply, taking one last glance at my make-shift-hickey-camoflauge and walk out the door. No one's in the hallway, so the first half of my adventure is painless. As I make my way downstairs, however I notice multiple bodies in the living room. I suck in, holding my breath as I silently creep into the kitchen without them noticing. Considering the couch faces away from the entry to the kitchen, my chances of going unnoticed are high. Successfully, I reach the kitchen, though as I'm releasing the breath I was holding, I choke, staring into two pairs of eyes. One pair green. One caramel.

"Raegan? Hey. Surprised to see you up this early." Harry says lightly.

I have to force myself to break eye contact with Liam who is starring at me like a deer in the headlights—frightened and unsure. "What? Oh. Yeah. I'm a bit surprised myself."

"It's a good surprise." Harry half-smiles, and I smile back, though the comment makes me uncomfortable. I think he can tell, for his smile disappears quicker than it normally would. Sorry Harry, we had a good day yesterday, but I'm still not your biggest fan. I look around the room quickly, trying to make a decision of what to grab before I make my escape back to my room. At this point I'm set on a granola bar and a bottle of water, when Harry interrupts my thoughts. "So, you hungry, then? I can make something, if you'd like." I freeze. No, Harry. Please don't do this. We were in a decent place yesterday, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I think to myself, but nothing comes out.

"Uh.." is all I can come up with. I don't want to eat with Harry—or Liam for that matter, I can't risk anyone seeing this awful bruise on my neck, but I wasn't raised inconsiderate. I know Harry is trying, and as much as I hate him for everything he's done — or I suppose I should say, hasn't done in the past, he doesn't deserve my built up wrath. Not now, anyway. I sigh.

"Or not... that's okay. I was just—"

I cut him off. "No, no, that sounds great," I say forcing a smile, but looking at the floor. When I look up I see Liam giving me a questioning look, a hint of fear, and unsteadiness still glowing in the back of his eyes. I give him no reaction and look to Harry who is smiling with delight.

"O-oh. Okay, then." He hops off the counter he was previously sitting on. "What would you like?"

"Anything at all," I say, slightly brushing him off. "I'm gonna use the bathroom real quick, if you'll excuse me. I'll be right back."

Harry nods, excitedly about his chance to do something productive. "Course, it'll be about 10 minutes or so anyway, so take your time." He grins again. Jesus, Harry. It's breakfast. Quit smiling so much. I shake it off and make my way toward the downstairs bathroom. I need to make sure I can sit through a 20 minute breakfast without Harry looking at my neck. My hand has just grasped the doorknob when I feel a hand come down on my shoulder. I jump, turning around, not thinking anyone had followed me. I kick myself when I see who it is, however, thinking I should have expected it to be Liam. 

"S-sorry," he mutters, taking a step back like he's just poked a lion with a stick. "How are you this morning?" he asks carefully.

I stare at him a moment, thinking about what I'm going to say. I am still mad at him, but I can't really be that mad at him. I didn't stop him from attacking my neck. "Alive," is all I come up with.

"Uh.. well, that's always good," he makes an effort to smile softly. I nod. "Y-you're neck looks good," he says, lowering his voice to almost a whisper. "I'm really, really sorry," he mouths.

"I know. Forget about it. I'm trying to."

Liam nods, frowning a bit. "Right. So will you forgive me?" he pauses. "I can't promise it will never happen again, but I will definitely be more careful."

The thought of Liam's lips on my neck again send shivers down my spine, and I kick myself for thinking that way when the consequence is this awful bruise. His lips, though. They're just so soft. I'm melting in my thoughts, when Liam speaks up.

"Rae? Forgive me? Please?" I nod, not being able to bear Liam's deer like eyes any longer.

"Yeah, forgiven. Just keep those lips away from me for awhile." I say, trying to stand my ground. He frowns. "At least for the day," I clarify, knowing that I could never keep Liam away too long. He nods, and steps closer as if he's going to hug me. With a quick glance around the hallway, I let him, sinking into his touch. What has this boy done to me?

Minutes pass, and though my eyes are flicking up and down the hallway like a watch dog, I'm butter in Liam's arms. For just being mad at him, less than five minutes ago, I never want him to let me go. I do, however, knowing that I've 'been in the bathroom' long enough and that Harry's going to wonder what's going on. I check with Liam one last time to make sure my bruise is covered up well enough and head back to the kitchen, giving Liam a minute head start.

Stepping into the kitchen, my nose is filled with an array of different smells. From bacon and eggs, to pancakes, and what I assume to be hash browns? My senses are overwhelmed. My eyes wander to all the different types of food Harry has made and I can't keep from rolling my eyes.

"You could have just made toast," I mutter, not thinking. I catch Harry's face beginning to fall out of the corner of my eye. "I-I mean. Thanks, Harry. This is great." He smiles softly, and nods.

"It was my pleasure. Now dig in!"

***

To my surprise, breakfast with Harry and Liam is really nice. It's informal compared to the nightly dinner at the table. We all just stand around in the kitchen, shoving toast piled with all sorts of things into our mouths between words. Harry makes minimal conversation with me, asking briefly if I'm excited for my birthday in just two short days, and if I had anything in mind that I wanted. My chest warms, thinking that someone actually wants to get me a present for my birthday. Outside of my mom, and my three friends, no one has ever given my birthday a second thought. Of course, I deny all attempts made at getting me a gift. The last thing I need is for Harry to have leverage. You may have one birthday Styles, but what about the last 16? Where were you then? I do my best to put my built-up frustration toward Harry aside. It's been a good morning, and so far, no one has noticed my new accessory, so I force my best behavior. It isn't long before the expected happens, and a loud Irishmen storms into the kitchen, looking offended as ever.

"And where was my invitation to this feast?" Niall bellows, a look of astonishment clear across his face. The three of us can't help but chuckle at his angry demeanor, considering Niall is almost never angry.

"It was a private meeting," Liam says, mouthful of who knows what. "We're plotting against the Irish."

"Liam!" I yelp. "You can't just tell him what we were talking about! That's what private means!"

At this point Harry is bent over, laughing, and even Niall can't hold his smile back, though he tries.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm shit at this secrecy thing. I warned you."

I roll my eyes, and Liam and I join in on the fits of laughter. Before long Niall's joined us entirely, eating the food and filling us in on Derby's chances of winning the championship football title this year.

Liam seems moderately interested, but it's clear that Harry and I are paying no attention. I swear a half an hour passes before Niall finishes, though really it's only about ten minutes. I help the three men clean up the dishes, and start toward the stairs. I don't even make it to the first step when the three of them stop me.

"Where ya goin?" They almost all say in unison.

"Uh.. upstairs. To my room?" I respond, confused why they all decided to follow me to the stairs.

"Don't be such a loner, Rae. Hang out with the family!" Niall belts.

I shutter at the word family. Regardless of how close I've gotten to Niall and Liam, none of them could know what family means to me. "I spent the day with all of you, yesterday." I state, simply.

"Well what's that supposed to mean?" he spits back as if I've just kicked his dog. "You can't be around us for more than one day at a time?"

"Well.." I start and Harry snorts, holding in his laughter, trying to remain supportive of Niall.

"Come on!" Niall says, taking my arm and dragging me toward the living room. "I promise, no more footie!"


End file.
